Mindfulness and Me

My website is called "Mindfulness with Mahara," so I figured I had better address that. What does mindfulness mean to me? I started by jotting down the first thoughts that came to mind:

• I recognized the feeling in my belly when I am anxious.
• Being aware of what I am saying before I say it.
• Accepting the silence. (What does that even mean???)
• I am allowing myself to feel - the good, the bad and the undefinable.

Not happy with those. I thought that this tried, and true writing exercise would help:

M - monitor my thoughts

I  - indulge my creativity

N  - nurture my feelings

D - decide to be present

F - focus on the moment

U - utilize all my senses

L - love the process

L - learn the lesson

Nope. That's not quite right.

I continued to ponder when Pinterest came to mind (see examples in this website). Full disclosure - 20 posts later and still nothing of great insight. Oprah to the rescue! All of a sudden, I was her special guest in the latest episode of Super Soul Sunday. My newly toned Gluteus Maximus rested leisurely in a stunning Wicker Paradise chair while I sipped cold iced tea and jauntily leaned toward my new best friend. Being mindful, you ask? Why living each moment without my thoughts from the past or assumptions of the future colouring the experience! She smirked and then asked in a surprisingly male voice, "And how's that working for you?"

Excuse me? What kind of question is that? I was momentarily stumped and slightly offended. I felt my ire rise as I slowly straightened my spine, realigning and refocusing. I tilted my head slightly to the right and forced a smile at our new co-host. Let me be clear; Oprah loves me; Dr. Phil thinks I'm an idiot. I girded my loins and answered with full authority and no trace of my earlier pique, "It's working fine, Phil!" My hosts looked at each other and nodded knowingly. That's it, I fumed. I'm out of here! My eldest child broke through my musings with convenient timing to ask if she could borrow my car. I stared mutely. Eyebrows to the hairline, she reminded me, for the third time, that her car was being serviced, she needed to go out, and did I want her to pick up lunch on her way home? Being the mindful mom that I am, I grinned because I knew at that moment, she was simultaneously annoyed with me and concerned for me. All was right in my world! 

I'll tackle this "mindful" thing another time.