Mahara Wayman [00:00:00]:
Hey there, badass listeners. Get ready to buckle up because an incredible guest is joining us today on The Art of Badassery. I am so happy to introduce Stephanie Kwong, the mastermind behind the game changing Rapid Rewire Method. Stephanie has been rocking the personal development industry for over 13 years, bringing her unique expertise as a subconscious rewiring coach. But she didn't up there. Oh, no. Now she's the Badass co founder and CEO of the Rapid Rewire Method, answering her divine calling and shaking things up like never before. Stephanie is all about those mind blowing tools and is passionate about bringing them into the world for rapid healing and transformation. They're not your average run of the mill techniques, but are revolutionary mental, emotional, and spiritual processes that guarantee lightning fast healing, change, and transformation. With these bad boys in her arsenal, stephanie is on a mission to prove that joy, fulfillment, and liberation are attainable for everyone. So say goodbye to those endless cycles of suffering helped countless clients smash through their mental and emotional roadblocks, paving the way for them to achieve jaw dropping personal, professional, and financial results. Stephanie is living proof that you don't have to settle for a life of stress and limitations.
Stephanie Kwong [00:01:28]:
Nope.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:29]:
With the Rapid We Ryer method, you can shift gears into a life of power and freedom in no time without the hassle or pain. Stephanie is the epitome of badassery, and I feel so lucky to have her here with us today. We will dive into her journey and soak up some life changing insights and uncover the secrets to unleashing our own inner badassery using the powerful techniques that she's going to share with us. So get ready to have your mind blown, your inspiration ignited, and your life elevated to the next level. Without further ado, let's give a warm welcome to the visionary herself, stephanie Kwong, right here on The Art of Badassery. Welcome, my friend Mahara.
Stephanie Kwong [00:02:12]:
Thank you so much for having me on your badass show. I really appreciate you, your time and for just giving me the space to share my story and hopefully in some way inspire and support your listeners.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:25]:
Well, when we met a few weeks ago, I was blown away by your story, and I'm just so honored that you agreed to join me on the podcast. So, listen, let's go back. You've been in the business for 13 years, but I'm wondering if you can tell us a little bit about yourself leading up to this career that you've chosen.
Stephanie Kwong [00:02:46]:
Yeah, happy to. So, I actually started off in the entertainment industry, so when I left college, I actually lived in Spain for a little while. And as an Asian woman, or actually just Asian in general, you have four tracks that you could pursue career wise. You could be an engineer, a doctor, a business owner of some sort, or an attorney. That's kind of the path that you have. And I was really stressed not knowing what I wanted to do. And I had done a study abroad in my final year, and it was a family I lived with a Spanish family that said, who do you spend the most time with during the day? Or who do you spend the most time with? And I was like myself. And they go, right. So you'd rather disappoint yourself all the time than disappoint your parents for the bits of moments that you're with them? I know that was like, one of the first moments of, like, hey, live in alignment with you and your own desires. And so it was so powerful. And so then I broke the mold and moved to Los Angeles and initially thought I wanted to act and very quickly realized it wasn't. But I did fall behind the camera and was producing and raising money for independent feature films and even had an opportunity where I wrote a pitch for a show and got selected by Shonda Rhimes, who created Grey's Anatomy and all those other big shows. She had grays at the time, she was like, probably this was in 2005, and she was mentoring me on a show. And then I literally was like in that point, I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't love this work. I also didn't love who I was being inside of the entertainment industry. I think there were so much of my wounded self that wanted to be seen and wanted to be significant, because now look at my celebrity friends, look at the parties I can get to, look at the like, the things that really doesn't on a soul level, matter, but for the wounded self mattered. And I think that's also part of why I chose, like, maybe I want to act, because again, it was like, be seen, be heard in some way. Even though what I quickly discovered was there wasn't a passion for it. I was choosing it from my ego versus from my soul. And so when I finally had the courage to leave that, I was like, oh, God, what am I going to do next? I have no idea. And so I started to look back in my journey to see what were the things that actually brought me an extraordinary amount of fulfillment. And it always came back to when I was in service in some way. So at nine years old, I got turned away from trying to volunteer at the SPCA with my best friend at the time, Deena Lanternman, because we were too young. We showed up and they're like, how old are you girls? We're like, nine. And they're like, yeah, you're too young. We're like, too young to hold puppies and kittens, but they didn't let us. And so I found another way to be of service, where my mom's friend had, like, a daycare, and so I would volunteer there to hold babies because she just had too many kids that she was caring for. So I supported there. I was a candy striper at a hospital. I worked the suicide hotline when I was at college at UC Berkeley, also worked with the homeless. It was a high homeless population in the city there. Then when I moved to Los Angeles, I also worked with the homeless. I worked with at risk youth, foster kids. Any opportunity that came up where people are like, hey, we need volunteers, I was your girl. And those were the moments that I noticed it was just easy for me to say yes to, and I felt, again, most fulfilled, and I never thought you should make money off of it, right? Like, when you're in service or in contribution to others, really, it's just a selfless thing. And what I realized was that actually, it's just an energetic exchange, which looks like the form of money, but that it's okay, right? And so either way, though, I was looking through the lens of contribution or service when I was looking for the next thing post entertainment industry. And so when I was looking through that lens, I ended up finally finding a job running operations at a live in weight loss facility. It was really high end, but because I had already started doing so much my own inner work at a very young age, I was like, oh, I can see why people struggle with their weight. I understand the psychology behind it. So I was like, I think at this facility, I can really help them, because it's not just about working out and eating, right? There's a mental emotional component to having a physical body in the ways that you desire that may or may not be being addressed. But anyway, so I accepted this job. I'm there, and I meet this young woman from Italy, and we had been forming a relationship, but she came up to me one day and just said, hey, do you know of anybody who could stay with me in the evenings because they had their own private apartments? She was because last night, I felt very alone, and she took a taxi. At the time, we didn't have Uber. Then a taxi to the grocery store bought a bunch of food, and she had binge and perched, and she was like, I don't want to do that, but I don't want to be alone by myself. So I said, you know what? You're here for three more weeks. I'll stay with you. And I said, But I'm in a leadership training right now, so I have to go to class, and then I'll come to you afterwards. She's like, fine. So I would go to class, come back, and I would teach her everything I was learning. And a week later, I get the news that my landlord was like, you got to move out. We're moving back in. So I was devastated. I live on this sick place right, on Abbott kinney in Venice Beach for seven years. I loved it, and I was devastated. And I told her, and she goes, well, if you have no home, then come to Italy to coach me. And I was like, what? Yeah. And she goes, yes, I wanted you, but I know how much you love La. But if you have no home, come to Italy to coach me. And she said, yeah. And so I ended up forming a contract with her mom, gave my two weeks literally two days later, packed up my stuff, and off I went to Italy to work with her. And I kind of knew the genesis of where her eating disorder started. And really, it was just like recreating that relationship with her own self and not needing to get her parents approval, which was part of the core of why she started creating these behavior patterns. And so, yeah, I was there for six months and I was like, this is amazing, and really tough when you're actually with a client. 24/7, came back to Los Angeles, got formally trained, even though, again, I've been doing so much of my own work, I kind of had some tools, but really got formally trained and then started my business, and that was back in 2008. And then I've always been learning and gathering tools along the way and constantly transforming myself so I could be the better version of myself for my clients. And you can also only lead people as far as you've gone. So that's why it's part of my dharma, I think, to really elevate myself and then also to be a source to elevate humanity. And so that's the long story. That's how I got to doing what I'm doing. And then the rapid reard methods is a whole other story of how I got there. But that's really what got me into this type of work.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:59]:
Such juicy goodness in everything that you said. And I just want to go back and recap a couple of things that I think are really very cool, actually. So what I heard was all your life you've had this underlying need and love of service. Coupled with that, as many of us have, are also some other needs that haven't been met. So you found some needs were being met through the giving and being of service. And I love the visual of you and your best friend at nine asking to volunteer is beautiful. But along the way, you also had other needs that weren't being met. You moved to La. Tried some different things, and at one point realized that you didn't love it. And I just want to say it must have taken some kind of courage to look Shonda Rhimes in the eye and go, yeah, you're good. But this isn't for me, because that's what I heard. So what I'm curious about though, is that space, that space of, quote, living the life and then recognizing the nickel that said, this isn't enough. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Because not all of us have that opportunity to see that in ourselves. But that's what you and I both do, is we help people recognize it. So I just like to get a little bit more of insight to how that transpired. And you went from living the life and doing the thing to wait a second, questioning it all.
Stephanie Kwong [00:11:29]:
Yeah. It's so funny because I thought I was breaking free of my conditioning by not doing one of the four paths. As I mentioned, I was like, I'm so different. I'm choosing something new. And then yet it was still my conditioning, my trauma, like, the wounded self that was still making a decision for me, which isn't in alignment with who I really am. Many of us make unconscious decisions to fulfill a need, like you said, that wasn't met when we were younger. And for me, that was I didn't fully feel seen, loved, accepted just as I was or heard. And so I chose something thinking that that was going to fulfill me. And as I shared with you, I've been doing the work for a long time. I am so blessed that I have a mother who I mean, unfortunately, she had an extraordinarily difficult life starting from when she was five years old, that by the time she had me, she, as an immigrant Asian woman, had the courage to start doing the inner work as well. And so as a little girl, I'm listening to Tony Robbins in my house on tape because my mom bought it off of an infomercial. That's how he started, right? Yeah. And I watched her going to therapy and going to drum circles and doing vision quests and having a vision board that she'd make and put up in our house. So I really feel like I don't know if this is right or not, but sometimes they say, like, your soul before you come onto the planet knows what you need to evolve through in this next evolution. And so you kind of choose your parents, too, and the circumstances that will help you to evolve in this human form. And so, of course, my soul chose a mother who, at a young age, exposed me to these things. So it became part of who I am. And yeah, I think because I'd been doing the work for so long and constantly seeking for myself from my own traumas that I experienced, from all the conditioning and limiting patterns that didn't serve me, that my eyes started, my awareness became wider and wider and wide and more open. And that's when I started to see and know, whoa, wait. Why am I doing this work in the entertainment industry? This isn't actually me that chose it. It was my wounded self that chose it. The part of me that needed something that I didn't get when I was younger and wait. I've got me now. And actually, who am I, and what do I want that feels in alignment with me choosing from my higher self and my soul versus this part of me that hasn't evolved yet? And so really doing the work, personal development work, inner work, whatever you want to call it, I think is what had me start to see the dissonance of the choices that I made from actually who I am and why I made those choices. And then now, as I healed and transformed, it's like, okay, I'm becoming more me. And from this place, what do I actually desire? And what does bring fulfillment? And it's the willingness to look deep inside and to clear the things that don't serve you, that aren't you, that were maybe put on you and then get what you want, interrupt.
Mahara Wayman [00:15:03]:
That, to me, is the epitome of being badass. So it's not about being the best, not about being the wealthiest or the slimmest or any of that stuff. To me, I think it's recognizing, first of all, that I matter. So for all of you out there that ever think you don't matter, just stop that thought right now. Hand on heart, you do matter. But what I loved about what you said, Stephanie, was this understanding that we're very complicated beings, and when we give ourselves permission to question, why do I feel this way? Why did I do that? Oh, my God, why did I just say that? When we give ourselves permission to question, slow down, and really sit with the answers, that's when true growth happens, and it's such a component of being badass. I really love that you've explained it, and you explained it so well. And I just want to say, hats off to your mama, because many of us didn't have that, and some of us are just starting our personal journey today. I was like, you very fortunate. I grew up with a father that was pretty forward thinking. And I've said this before on the podcast, but for those of you that don't know the story, my dad would look at me and say, that is not your business. That is the universe's business. I'd be like, what? I don't think I understand. But he dropped some beautiful things as I was growing up, and a favorite story of mine is when we would go for Errands, and I'd jump in the car with him. That was before I could drive. And he would look at me and say, remember parking, parking, parking. And I'd be rolling my eyes, going, yes, dad. You need a parking spot. Universe parking spot for dad. And sure enough, we'd drive up to Safeway, and there this beautiful parking spot. And I'd look at him and I'm like, every time. And he'd be like, Every time, baby. Every time. And it was long before I knew what he was really trying to teach me. But I think you're very fortunate. So way to go mom. That was awesome. Okay, so jumping forward in time, you left the weight loss company and decided to start your own business, is that correct?
Stephanie Kwong [00:17:12]:
Yeah. So once I again, I was running operations at that live in weight loss facility, I left that to go work with that one client, came back, got officially trained, started my business and then yeah, subconscious, well, initially it was more conscious level work, right? Like coaching is more conscious when you are just asking those questions. Or I would even say some therapeutic work is just more conscious level. And I've worked at two different treatment centers for addiction or two addiction rehabs and one treatment center with women with Bpd and bipolar. And so I'm very familiar with a lot of more evidence based, clinical based, but also alternative, I guess forms of transformation healing. And where I discovered was that what it matters the most is getting into the subconscious because that's really where things kind of get locked in. And so for me, that's when I went on a quest to go, okay, how do we rewire the subconscious and what are the protocols or ways that we could get through and to be able to create the shifts at the core root level? And that's when I started studying deeper work and then called myself the subconscious rewiring coach. And I was getting really great results with people. I had done a lot of the one to many, but then I really started working with high profile and very high achieving people because I was like, well, they have influence and so if I can help them shift, then that's how my impact will happen. Is it'll ripple down in that way? And so I was working with CEOs of companies and like some slip when I was in La. Of course I knew a bunch of celebrities. So it was like I was working with them and other people just in high places to support them in healing. And it's so funny because they always come like, oh, I want to achieve this or I need that. And then it's like, let's take a deeper cut here. What is the stuff that's really holding you back from that? Right? Or where are the limiting patterns or the condition that you've taken on or coping mechanisms, limiting patterns that you've created in order to survive that, aren't you? And that we can transmute and transform and transcend so that you can really be in alignment with who you truly are.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:24]:
Interesting that and I count myself as one of these people because when I went on the journey, I just want to lose weight. Like it's very surface, I just want to look differently. But isn't it interesting that most many of us, I should say many of us just don't have the language to even contemplate or understand that there is something deeper? There's always something deeper. And I'm curious what was the feeling of your clients when you said, well, it's nice that you want this, but I'm going to challenge you to go a little bit deeper? Were they all, like, on board? Just, yeah, let's do it, or did you ever get any pushback going? I don't need to go deeper. I just need this.
Stephanie Kwong [00:20:04]:
Yeah. So I was very meticulous in the ways that I handled clients before I started working with them. So they really knew who I was, the type of work that I did. So it wasn't like I bamboozled them. Just like, surprise, this is what we're doing. I was very clear in our intro calls, like, hey, I hear you, that this is what you say you want. And what we're going to be working on is the stuff that's in the way of you achieving that. And for some, then that would also help me vet out, is it the right person I'm working with or not? Because I can't do surface level. I go deep even inside of strangers that I meet sometimes I'm like, tell me what's your biggest vision in life? Or what holds you back from that? And so they knew. And was it difficult for some of them sometimes while we were doing it? Yeah, I mean, even this was a common thread with a lot of the high performing people that I work with is this is still keeping confidential, but I had a client who achieved great things. He sold his company for an insane amount of money, and he said the, like, joy lasted for about five minutes. And then he was like, Wait, that's it? And so we started to dig in deeper with other things that were in the way. And then one session, he ended up mentioning to me that he had a mantra that was prove them wrong. And I was like, interesting. I was like, so is everything that you're creating in order to prove yourself? Yeah, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Right? And he's like, no. And I was like, what if you didn't need that anymore? Like, yes, it's gotten you to where you are, but for where you want to go now on your second mountain, is it going to actually get you to where you want to be? Or you might get up to that next mountain again and still get that five minutes of victory and then that's it versus, like, true fulfillment. And he was like, honestly, it's what gives me my edge. Like, I'm not ready to let it go. Because he thinks that the reason why he created what he created is solely because of that and not resting on anything else about who he was. And he is not alone in that. I have so many high achieving people that have many of them some sort of trauma that happened that had them pick up some sort of belief like this client did to then drive them to achieve in order to prove something, whether it's their worthiness, their value, or that they're lovable. And that is the fleeting motivation. It'll get you there, but it's not long lasting in terms of fulfillment of people's experience. Yeah, that's what I see. So then when we start pushing in those ways, sometimes like, what? But then I'm like, this is where we're going. And they know that. So, again, it's not a surprise.
Mahara Wayman [00:22:56]:
Yeah, that's a great call out, that motivation has a purpose. Absolutely. But if you don't look at the underlying challenge or the underlying belief or the underlying story, you're just postponing. And I can imagine it would be a really uncomfortable rat race. What's that wheel hamster wheel that you get on and the feeling of and I think it would be for both negative and positive, for great success and great failure. Oh, here I am again. Here I am again oh, here I am again but I'm still feeling that I'm missing out. Oh, here I am again but I'm still feeling that I'm missing out. Interesting. Okay, so I know people at home are thinking, oh, for God's sake, so you just ask her to explain what she does now. So can you give us a little bit of insight to what exactly you mean when you say the rapid rewire method? And that's a bit of a tongue twister for me.
Stephanie Kwong [00:23:59]:
Tongue twister. I know I'm going to share a little bit of a longer story. Is that okay, Mara?
Mahara Wayman [00:24:07]:
Is that okay, people? Of course.
Stephanie Kwong [00:24:09]:
Do you want to know the full story? Because I think there's something beautiful behind this. So, basically, I have been trained up in a lot of different modalities over the 14 years of my career. A lot of powerful tools that obviously worked because I wouldn't have these high performing, high achieving, high profile people paying me an insane amount of money to help them get quick results. And so I joke, but I'm very serious, where I was like, amazing. We like results. We like them fast. Like, we don't like to mess around. So what's the biggest, baddest tools that will get us there? And I thought I had them, and I do have some. And December 2020, I ended up getting pregnant without trying with my partner, and I deeply desired to be a mom. And at nine and a half weeks, I lost the baby. And so I went into a dark hole, and I was like, f u universe. It is not benevolent. Like, what a cruel cosmic joke. Why would you get me pregnant? And then literally strip it away? And it was so painful physically, but more so mentally and emotionally. Right? And I know that there's not a timeline for grieving, right? So it's not like, hey, girl, it's been one week, you should be done, or, hey, it's been two months, you should be done. Because grief is its own animal that comes in waves and can hit you in the face or at least expect it. But at five months after the miscarriage, I was having days where I could not function. Like I couldn't get out of bed, I would go onto social media. And in 2021 I feel like everyone announced their pregnancy. And so now I'm getting triggered like crazy seeing people pregnant. So now I have to stay away from social media. I can't watch that anymore. I'd be outside just doing life. And every now and then when I would see some holding a baby or like a man holding a child, or just the child being doting on, boom, trigger, bawling, and I'm like, okay, now I can't go outside. And so my world started shrinking in on me where I wasn't able to navigate, empowered and in ways that where I just felt okay. And so I knew I needed help. And even with the tools that I had, I couldn't help myself. And even with an extraordinary community of coaches, healers, shamans, all the things, I was still stuck. And so I actually ended up getting connected to Wesley, my co founder of the Rapid Rebar Method. He's a master trainer of trainer of these tools that were created by a Yugoslavian psychotherapist who since passed away. But we have the blessing to share these protocols beyond for his legacy. And in one session, Mahara He processed the trauma of the miscarriage, drained the emotional charge that I literally could not feel sadness and grief in my body anymore. It was gone. And I searched for it and I think I cussed a little bit out of shock. And then I was like, hey, can we keep going? And he was like, yeah. And so I started learning these tools and by week seven I was clearing things at rapid speed. There's about 18 protocols that we teach in the Rapid Rewire Method, but I was like learning them, soaking them up, using them on myself. And then at week seven I literally heard, you are meant to bring these tools into the world. And I always do what I'm told when it comes from the divine. And so I was like, okay. And I ended up approaching Wesley. I'm like, I know this is going to sound super woo and weird, but what I heard is I'm meant to help bring these tools into the world. And he was like, interesting, my business partner passed away earlier this year of COVID and I was waiting for someone to step forward. It's you. And so we joined forces and launched the Rapid Rewire Method. And it has been extraordinary to be able to empower people, whether it's we've had coaches come through to real estate agents, a partner at McKinsey and Company, an esthetician, a nurse and pediatric oncology, like people who just want tools that work. They work efficiently, they work integratively, they work rapidly and sustainably to liberate themselves from suffering. Because so often and. We always say this. We're like, emotional suffering and turmoil is optional. If you want to liberate yourself from the cage that you're inside of, oh, we've got tools for you. But then it's your choice to use them or not, right? And I think it's not just our work, but there's so many other tools and modalities out there. It's like some people get really comfortable and feel safe inside their misery, or it's also what's most familiar, it's what they know. And so anything that's not in alignment with feeling miserable, it feels super destabilizing. And they're like, no, it's unfamiliar. I don't want it. And so depression could even be more familiar than happiness. And then when they start to feel happy, they're like, that's so weird. Let me just kick that out and stay with what I know. And so it takes courage to face off with ourselves, to be willing to do the work, to dive in, to transmute and transform the stuff that doesn't serve us. And we're kind of like around to go, hey, we've got tools that can really help you with that. And really a badass cutting edge set that are easy to facilitate. They're not super woo. They are pretty straightforward, but they do the job and they do it fast and sustainably. So that's what we do, is we teach people our cutting edge technology of these transformational tools to truly help, to create that inner alignment, that peace, to be able to access greater levels of joy, success, abundance, everything that we desire, because we're shifting what no longer serves out of the way. But that's what we do. And I'm ultra passionate about it. I could go off forever. I will stop there. But I've just never seen a set of tools work this effectively. And we have insane stories from our students who have learned to shift things quickly. I'm just going to share r1 quick and super quick. We had a student, she was about to go into our level two training where we teach our trauma release. And she said, she's like, I can't wait for the training to start because I experienced a trauma last week. I'm like, well, what happened? She's like, I witnessed a death at the beach. And I was like, Wait, what? And she goes, yeah, there was this pro surfer. He hit his head on coral. My boyfriend and I ran over and we were helping him, and he ended up first responders came and he ended up dying. And I was like, well, our level two isn't starting for a month. I didn't want her to suffer any longer than she needed to. So we did a process on her, recorded it, used it for our level two material. She couldn't even go back to a beach after that incident. She kept seeing flashbacks of his face passed. She was having moments of anxiety and panic come up. And Mahara, in 18 minutes, it shifted. We were able to process the trauma, drain the emotional charge from that, help integrate it. That literally. The next day, she went back to the beach, the side of the accident zoomed with me and was like, hey, I'm at the side of the accident. I'm fine. And she ended up seeing a memorial. She's like, I feel nothing but gratitude and peace. And she goes, oh, and I forgot to tell you, I'm going to take up surfing. And I was like, Wait, what? So that, again, is just showing the power. Like, we don't have to suffer longer than we need to when we have things that can really help us integrate in the proper ways to be able to come back to ourselves and not be what happened to us.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:44]:
Wow, that is crazy powerful. And thank you for sharing that. So I just want to be clear. You're not talking about changing the memory or affecting your memory. Like, you're not talking about being hypnotized where you don't remember things or you think you remember things differently. What I'm hearing, I just want to make sure it's correct, is that you're actually rewiring how the brain processes the memory. Correct?
Stephanie Kwong [00:32:13]:
Yeah, we integrate it. So now it becomes what happened versus who I am. Right? Like, I deidentified now with the miscarriage. It's not who I am. I can actually think about it, talk about it, share about it. And I don't have the emotional turmoil take of grief and sadness. Take me over. Right? Because how that was stored when that incident occurred, I had to go into fight flight, which is when you just go into survival mode and the emotion doesn't get processed efficiently and properly from that experience. So it gets locked into my body in ways that were really ineffective and through images, thoughts, emotions, and body sensations that now it's like everything that reminds me of that or it feels like it's a reexperience of that, boom. I go into the same trigger. Right. However, with our tools, when we integrate it, it helps us to deidentify with the experience, and we clear everything on images, thoughts, emotions, and body sensations. Body sensations so that we integrate it wholly and how it's stored in the mind and body so that we can actually, again, have it be what happened versus who I am. And our tools work so well to integrate any sort of emotional turmoil. So people who are stuck in, like, grief, anger, feelings of inadequacy, of worry, of anxiousness, et cetera, it can help to integrate any sort of limiting beliefs, any inner barriers, any sort of phobias, any sort of traumas or as we call them, intense experiences. We could do polarity integrations, which is usually kind of like what's stuck underneath a problem. But yeah, these tools really help to bring you back to wholeness versus the fraction parts of ourselves. We also have tools to integrate stuck identities, which is many times what creates the problem for somebody is when we're in an identity that we're stuck in that doesn't serve us anymore. So it could be for me in relationship. I was in the identity of a closed person because I had been cheated on so much in my past that even though consciously I want a relationship unconsciously, I was like, no, first order of business, protect yourself. Do not get hurt again. Do not let that experience happen again. And so I created this identity of closed person, which works super well, right? I don't let people in. You can't hurt me. I don't need to worry about if I can trust you or not. But that stuck identity of close person was getting in the way of what I actually wanted, which was to be in a deeply loving and fulfilling romantic relationship. And so now there's this conflict. I could keep saying I wanted to tell him blue in the face, but until I really open myself up my heart, I'm not going to be able to call in the right person. I'll call in the person who fits.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:01]:
The who fits the mold that you're.
Stephanie Kwong [00:35:04]:
Mold of closed person, which is not who I want because the closed person is afraid. And so then I kept bringing in guys who kept cheating, kept affirming that. But if that's not what I want, well, guess what? I had to dive in and do the work just like other people. We have so many coping identities that we create to keep ourselves safe ultimately that really get in the way of what we want. It's just like people who want to be visible online, right? Because it's going to help their business. But then they're so dang scared about putting themselves out there. Why? Because probably something happened. Which is why now they feel like they can't be seen. They're in that identity of maybe a small person, an invisible person, whatever you want to call it. And even though in their mind they're like, oh God, I got to post that photo. Oh gosh, I got to do that live. Oh gosh, I got to release that thing. Oh gosh. And then there's something that keeps stopping them right? There's like this inner fight that occurs consciously. I know I want it unconsciously. No, girl, we're going to protect you. I'm going to stop you and make you feel paralyzed from posting so that you don't get rejected or judged or hurt in any way. And so on goes the patterns. And you can look at this in so many areas of our life, even around weight loss. I know a lot about that from just like the people I've worked with. But then these become the inner conflicts that get in the way of what we actually want.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:24]:
So thank you for sharing that and I agree wholeheartedly. And that's the conundrum of being human like you, I think. I believe that we are all spiritual beings having a human existence. We choose our families, we choose our peeps for a reason, for the lesson and for the learnings that come with it. What I'm excited about, though, is this idea of a tool that anybody can learn. Because so often up until now, I think we as a culture have believed, I'm broken, I need to go to somebody special to fix me. First of all, I want to say none of us are broken. We have stories, we have things. But what I'm hearing is that anybody can learn these tools. I don't have to go and get fixed by someone, but I can learn these tools myself, correct?
Stephanie Kwong [00:37:13]:
Absolutely. Yeah. That's what I love about these tools so much, Mahara. They're so simple to learn, they're so easy to follow, they're so refined that they're standardized into a script. You can literally one, two, three, okay. Follow it and then it can support you. We had one of my best friends did the training last year, and she got paired up with this guy who's like a really high level businessman. That's the guy who is a partner at McKinsey and Company. And so he got handed the script for the very first time. And she actually did an Instagram story on it's, on our business Instagram page, where she was like, guys, I've had this issue for years. She's a coach herself. I've hired energy healers, coaches, all these people to help her. And this dude who isn't trained in this doesn't know this work. He has a whole other profession that he's really skilled at, not on helping people in this way. He got handed the script, they paired up. They went off into the forest because we were up at the Starhouse, which is this beautiful land, and in 32 minutes gone. And in her Instagram story, she's like, yep, this is what happened yesterday. And then I woke up today thinking that I'd feel it again. She's like, still gone. It's now nighttime, still gone. And she even uses on her eleven year old daughter who got bullied at school, and literally in ten minutes gone, which she is a coach herself, so she talked a lot with her daughter about it, but it didn't shift. It where it mattered. And then she's like, let me see if just one of these tools works. And it works so well that an eleven year old can process and receive the set. She was able to shift in ten minutes. So they're so easy. We do have some that are a bit more advanced. Right. That's what we teach on our level two. But for the most part, you can learn these tools super easy to follow, and you can liberate yourself, another person or an entire group with the same exact script anytime, anywhere. You don't have to have perfect conditions. Like, I was a hypnotist as well. I had that in my tool belt. And it have to be like, turn your phones off, silence, everything, make sure in a quiet space where you won't be disturbed. Well, man, if you're sitting on an airplane and someone's sitting next to you freaking out, you can't be like, close your eyes, shut everything out. You got to have something that can get in and do the job and fast because the plane is about to take off. So that's what I love about these protocols or these tools or these processes of the Rapid Rewart method, is they work so efficiently and so quickly and so easily. It's not complicated. Anyone can learn them and use it and then you can learn them to help a friend, a client or someone in your community. And that's why I believe these tools are going to help really contribute to global healing and transformation when they're really out there widespread. Because the ripple effect that will occur from knowing these tools sounds amazing.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:03]:
Got to ask because this is like the second time I've heard about this and I thought about this question before, but what is I mean, does it you say rapid and I believe rapid, but is it long lasting? Is this something that can be reversed?
Stephanie Kwong [00:40:19]:
I think anything can be reversed. I'm not going to claim permanent. Permanent forever? That would not be accurate to say. However, what I have witnessed is many times, if it is fully processed and fully integrated, it becomes no longer an issue for you. Can you still think about it? Might it come up? Yeah, but it no longer affects you the way that it has before and the reason why it works so well again, how we store in brain and body all of our processes, our tools help to integrate through the mind and the body. So through images, thoughts, emotions and body sensations, through all four levels of awareness. There's a lot of modalities or tools out there that are maybe just cognitive based, just mental based. Then some are just somatic based, body based, right. And some are just emotion based. They all work. It just takes a little bit longer to keep repeating and revisiting over and over and over again with ours. That's why it works so well. And we do use a lot of different psychological principles that are in play in the tools. Like Duplication, where we bring through our protocols, we bring a lot of the unconscious content conscious simply by the way that the process is structured. It just does that. And then we start to integrate it through all four levels of awareness by using one of the mechanisms is Duplication and more. And so I've never had to redo the miscarriage stuff. Emily, our student who witnessed the death at the beach, we were just on a call recently and she's like, no, still fine, still surfing, or just started surfing, but she's still out there on the water and it's not like it crept back in. Now, if something is really deep and there could be a huge incident that occurs for them that reactivates it or if it hasn't been fully integrated, could it resurface? Yeah. So I'm not going to lie and go like, it's permanent forever. And I think because we're always, ever evolving anyway, that different things at different points in our life could have it come up. But for the most part, it is quite sustainable that I've witnessed once a true integration has occurred.
Mahara Wayman [00:42:21]:
It is so exciting. And what I'm loving about this conversation is recognizing that as we evolve as human beings, we're getting better and better at helping ourselves. Right? And I do think that we are in a time right now where so many of us are feeling the calling to step up and help each other. There's this beautiful understanding that when we reach out and hold hands, we make a difference and everybody rises. And whether it's using this amazing, brand new to me anyway tool, new to the world tool, or just looking somebody in the eye and saying, hey, how are you? I mean, that was like one of the earliest tools of help was when we just had community and we just recognized that we are connected. But today we know better so we can do better. Super exciting. Okay, I want to take a step away now from this amazing concept. Just talk about you. You mentioned when you were nine you wanted to volunteer for the SPCA. Then you thought you wanted to be in front of the camera to help fill a need. Then you realized not so much you were behind the camera. Then you realized, no, I want to be of service and help the world. Can you share with us on a day to day basis? What are one or two things that you do every day to help you feel connected to that inner Stephanie that's so powerful and so all knowing? Our podcast is all about being badass and I want to know what do you do on a daily basis to help you feel connected to that person?
Stephanie Kwong [00:44:13]:
So number one is just spending time in silence. This world can be so busy, so crazy, right? There's so much information coming at us in every single moment. But to take the time each day to just shut it all out and be with yourself because actually being busy is a coping mechanism for some people who don't want to don't feel comfortable being with themselves. And that's really step one for me, is like taking time for me and to tune in and to observe what in my life is really working and what's not in the ways that I desire. Right. Because anyone may be like, oh, that's totally working for you. I'm like, actually, it doesn't feel in alignment anymore. Me being a people pleaser. Not in alignment? Did it get me somewhere? Yeah, I got love or I got people to like me, but I also was betraying myself by being people pleasing because I would say yes when I really meant no. And so I was like, that's not working. And for people around me like, that really does work though, girl, because we're getting what we need from you. And so I had to really start to look at myself and again check in what's working, what's not working, and be willing to dive in and shift those parts that don't work. So part of my practice, I actually do a rapid rewire process every day. It's part of my mental and emotional hygiene because again, you can use these tools on yourself. So there's so much stuff that I'm always like, I got something and even if it's little like someone annoys me or that I noticed that I still get a little triggered sometimes when someone doesn't respond back on a text quick enough. And I'm like and I start to make up little stories in my head, I'm like, that's disempowering not going to do that. Or being a step mom. There were so many challenges and things that came up that created mental and emotional turmoil for myself that I'm like, no, I want to be the best me I can for these kids, so let me clear things and so all of that and now I love it. But in the beginning it was tough. So there's all these little things that we don't realize that are chipping away at our happiness in each moment. We're not letting us live the most fulfilled lives or the most peaceful selves that I'm just always doing the clearing work.
Mahara Wayman [00:46:21]:
Okay, so you take five minutes every morning? Ten minutes a day.
Stephanie Kwong [00:46:29]:
I don't start work till 09:00 a.m., I'm usually up around 7730, so I just flow and take as much time as I want. If it takes me longer to process, then I take less time with my morning cacao. It's really just a free float, so it's not like a certain amount of time. But the cool thing is the more you process yourself, the faster it starts to go. You don't actually have to take long times, depending on the issue. Of course, if it's a really deep, heavy thing, it might take a little bit more TLC and time, but for the most part, yeah, it's like maybe around five to 15 minutes max on that.
Mahara Wayman [00:47:04]:
For me, you sit in silence because I do believe and understand the power of silence. I just came from a retreat. We had a night at the spa for 3 hours and we asked all of the participants to be quiet, no talking at all. And I thought I was going to really struggle. And I'm not a participant. It was my retreat. I co hosted a retreat with a friend of mine and I thought maybe quiet for 3 hours.
Stephanie Kwong [00:47:30]:
Are you the best?
Mahara Wayman [00:47:33]:
It was the best. I loved it so much. So I believe and understand the power of silence. So for you, one of your tips to being badass is giving yourself silence. So you can just feel whatever needs to be felt. And if something comes up, then you do your rapid wire rewiring in the moment to help you clear that or integrate it.
Stephanie Kwong [00:47:54]:
Yeah, and it's not necessarily just feeling the things. I just tune in with myself too. It's like what's really working for me in my life and what's not. And so now I'm in a state of observation of how I'm showing up in each and every moment. Am I most my higher, my most empowered self? Or am I still having certain patterns or habits, behaviors, ways of thinking, ways of being that don't serve me ultimately of who I want to be? And then that's when I can go, oh, now I have material to work with right now. That's what helps me to see what I can really start to integrate with the tools so important. And by the way, I did a Vipassana ten day silent meditation. You're not supposed to look at anybody or talk to anybody for ten days. It was the most blissful ten days of my life. So when we talked about not talking and I thought that would be really hard for me too, was amazing, I realized we just also talk so much for no reason that I'm like, what if we actually just only spoke when it really was intentional anyway, that would be one thing. So really like checking in, just spending that silent time. And sometimes that silence could just be in quiet meditation and see what arises too. I'm really connected to source divine right? For me personally, I've just been where I hear things, I'm very clear audio, so I hear messages that come through. And so just even in that silence, it doesn't have to be active of seeing what works, what doesn't work. It could just be in silence period to see what needs to arise within me. And on really good days, it's actually like beautiful self acknowledgments and gratitude that comes up. And on some days it's like, OOH girl, look at this, look at that. Or I start to just notice thought patterns that are still there, that are like taking over. But I don't get emotionally hooked in. I'm like, okay, that's one to work on because it keeps coming up. So that's the silent time. And honestly, I have really been back into it and I have been so start stop with it. But prayer and it brings so much peace. And when I pray, I don't ask for what I want. I just give thanks for it before it's happened and I also give thanks for what is happening. And so I'm always wanting to tune my lens through the eyes of what is working, what is good, what am I thankful for in my life? Because what we give gratitude for continues to give like when we're in a space of thankfulness, we continue to have things come to our life that has us be even more grateful for. And so I was like, oh, I want more of that. Okay, great. So let me really look through the eyes of gratitude and in every moment and to find those beautiful moments I even have as part of my nighttime routine, I have a Google Doc that says my miracles, and I notate down. What are the miraculous things that I witnessed and experienced that day? And so I have a track on the days when I'm off, and I'm like, hold up. Let me actually really see what does really work and that there is a benevolent source that's running through our lives. Oh, here's all the reasons why when my brain wants to tell me the opposite. But that prayer is, again, just giving thanks for what I have and for who I am, and then also giving thanks for what I desire to come. And that's how I pray.
Mahara Wayman [00:51:29]:
I love that you brought that up, because I think the word prayer can feel heavy for many people. It's almost like it can be a triggering, oh, take me back to childhood. But the word prayer, I mean, it means different things to different people, but sometimes for me, because I agree with you, I love the idea and recognize the power and the energy when we pray. But I grew up thinking that prayer was thank you. Before you went to bed, you kneeled and you asked, thank you, God, or.
Stephanie Kwong [00:52:06]:
I'm sorry for or Please help me to get yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:52:10]:
But what I'm hearing and what I think is so, so beautiful is this understanding is for me, prayer is whenever I slow down and tune in and consciously raise or try to connect my vibe with that of the source, that of the universe. It's easier to come at it through a state of gratitude than it is a state of please. Please. Oh, my God, please, will you let I want to meet this person, or I want to date this guy, or I want to win a million dollars. But it does take time. In my world, it's taken me a long time to recognize how much fun it is to be thankful for colored pens of my colored markers. So gratitude is a beautiful component of prayer or of even just tuning in. So what you said is you take time for so in silence, and you take time for prayer, which really starts from a place of accepting that what you're grateful for is already here, because energetically, that gets you on the right energy level. You've sort of raised your vibe to that. Is there anything else that you do on a regular basis, Stephanie, to help you feel connected and badass?
Stephanie Kwong [00:53:31]:
So many things. It all depends. Those are the consistence. But also, let me tell you, I love to crank music and move my body and dance. Dance is actually where yeah, that's why when we started off, I was like but I grew up as a dancer. I started dancing when I was two years old. And I think that when people talk about flow states for them, some through music, some through art, some through sports, my flow state is through dance and movement and just like, expression of my body where I just disappear and it comes out. And I feel like that's such a powerful somatic practice too, for me to purge what's there, what isn't, and to tune into the power of this beautiful vessel that I've been given to connect and experience the world around me. And so dance is huge and I do throughout the day. It's not just a morning thing. It's like sometimes when I'm feeling slumped in energy, I'm like, maybe Cranks and Billie Eilish Bad Guy or there's so many different songs, and sometimes it's just tribal music, too, and I just forget into it. But that's a really powerful source that I tune into as well. And then I also do manifestation or meditation. So I have done dispenser meditations, but I also do a lot of my own. I used to be a hypnotist, so I'll create my own tracks, hypnosis tracks, and listen to them to embed suggestions that I desire and beliefs into my unconscious. That's something I actually do consistently too. Right when I wake up, here's a hot tip. You naturally go into a hypnotic state, meaning you're a more suggestible state right as you're going to bed and right when you wake up. So your brain waves go from beta, alpha, theta, delta, right? And around the alpha theta part is when you're in that hypnotic open, suggestible state. So I tell people, do not be careful what you put into your mind during that time. Don't fall asleep to the TV, to some scary movie or the news. Don't fall asleep ruminating about what you haven't done for the day, who pissed you off, what isn't working in your life, or scrolling on social media, or when you first wake up, doing that too, because that starts to ruminate in your mind and actually embeds deeper into your unconscious.
Mahara Wayman [00:55:48]:
Should we do what should we listen to as we fall asleep?
Stephanie Kwong [00:55:51]:
Or what should we yeah, just start to embed and imprint what it is that you desire. So me, that's why going to bed and thinking about what you're grateful for as you're falling asleep is a really beautiful thing. Or there are times when I have like, a mantra depending on what I'm working on. I'll just keep saying it over and over again as I fall asleep. First thing when I wake up, I have my recorded tracks. I'll just pop my earbuds in, I'm still like, Woozy. And I just put it in, turn it on, and then eventually I wake up to it, right? But it's important. To fill your mind with what you desire and things that bring you into a higher frequency during those very kind of vulnerable times where your brain is open instead of what we habitually do, which a lot of people fall asleep lasting looking at their phone or thinking about the things that stress them out or that they haven't accomplished for the day or what they need to do or insecurities or whatever that comes up. Because again, then you go to sleep and then your brain just ruminates on it deeper. Really use that sacred time to fill your mind with things that are going to support and serve you. Even you're going to think, I'm a little wild for this. So if I do have my mantras, depending on what I'm working on, I have this thing now where I pee in the middle of the night and it's just a thing, I think, with.
Mahara Wayman [00:57:08]:
Aging that you just, oh, don't even go.
Stephanie Kwong [00:57:12]:
Okay. And so when I walk into the bathroom in the dark, instead of letting my brain run wild, boom. I just start repeating my mantra. Because I'm like, I'm in a hypnotic state right now. I'm kind of in that half dream sleepy. I'm not in full beta, so let me just keep imprinting that instead of letting anything else attack my mind. There are times, too, where I wake up first thing in the morning, all I say is thank you. And that's my mantra. Just like thank you. And I eventually wake up to thank you. So find a thing that works for you. But I'm just saying, during that time, your brain is more susceptible to deepening things into your unconscious mind. So fill it with positive things. Fill it with things that will serve you. Fill it with things that will move you forward with who you want to be and what you desire. Fill it with beauty, joy, love, whatever that might be. Gratitude. So hot tip for everybody who's listening.
Mahara Wayman [00:58:09]:
Tips were amazing. I'm going to rehash them for us real quick. Silence is golden. I don't know who said it originally, but basically you talked about that. Prayer is powerful, especially when it leads with gratitude. And this last major hot tip is recognize the power of your mind just before you fall asleep and just before you wake up, because give it what you want to grow as opposed to what you want less of what you want more of rather than what you want less of. Stephanie, I am going to put all of your contact information in the show notes, but tell us how best to contact you.
Stephanie Kwong [00:58:54]:
Yeah, you can check out our website, rapidreiremethod.com. You can slide into my DMs. I always DM people back. My personal account is at imstephanie Kwong. Our business account is at Rapid. We are method. That's probably the two best ways to find me and be able to connect up.
Mahara Wayman [00:59:16]:
Yeah, I can't thank you enough for this conversation. I've just loved it so much and I'm so excited for what you bring into the world. I'm excited for me to test it out myself. I'm excited for our listeners who have been looking for something more because not everything works for everybody. And you and I both know for what we do for a living, that when we are ready, the right stuff comes to us. So I'm just so excited for all of our listeners because I know that everyone that's listening on some level is going to go, okay, this is interesting. Wow, this is exactly what I was looking for. So I want to thank you for taking time to share your story with us. So many people I think, will be able to understand and appreciate this idea of man we just want so badly. We're going to do do. The pushing isn't always the way, perhaps not the lasting way. And hopefully they will be open to checking you out because I think this method is mind blowing and will make a big difference in so many people's lives. I want to thank you again for joining us today and I just want.
Stephanie Kwong [01:00:26]:
To let you know if people want to have an experience of it on our website, there's a freebie. You could download it, listen to one of them and just see if it works for you. My deepest desire is to just create some liberation from any suffering. It's a good first step.
Mahara Wayman [01:00:45]:
So guys, check out her website. You're going to be amazed. I will see you next week on The Art of Badassery. Thanks very much.
