Mahara Wayman [00:00:00]:
Welcome, everyone, to "The Art of Badassery," โ the podcast that celebrates individuals who have fearlessly pursued their dreams, defied societal norms and embraced their true power. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman, and today; we have a fantastic guest joining us. She is a true embodiment of resilience, courage, and unapologetic badassery. Please welcome Aya Hojadova.Aya, born in Turkmenistan, raised in the vibrant streets of San Francisco, and now residing in the enchanting city of Charleston, South Carolina, has forged her path as a Commercial Realtor. She has recently emerged as an inspiring author. Her debut book, "Getting Lost in the Sauce," takes us on a transformative journey that breaks free from the confines of a corporate 9-5 existence and dives headfirst into the depths of self-discovery.Her story is a testament to the power of finding one's voice and reclaiming personal power. Through her experiences, she unveils the art of badassery, showing us how to navigate life's twists and turns with grace, resilience, and an unwavering belief in ourselves.Join us as we explore being badass with Aya, a beacon of inspiration for all those seeking to break free from conformity and live on their own terms. Get ready to be empowered, enlightened, and entertained. Aya welcome to the show! Thank you so much for having me here, Maharaj. Thank you. We are gonna have so much fun today. So we talked a lot before I hit the record button, And it was very interesting how things that happened to you when you were very little kinda repeated themselves throughout your life. So I'm wondering if you can take us back to being in fourth grade and what you discovered about yourself, and we'll start there.
Aya Hojadova [00:01:52]:
Yeah. Let's go back to let's travel into the past. Right? So fourth grade, I was in Turkmenistan, and -- you know, the question you asked was when did you first 1 of the first times you discovered you were a badass. Fourth grade was definitely a memorable time for me because I would run around during play playtime play ground, I guess. And I would start seeing all these bullies get start picking all the underdogs and all the little kids who couldn't protect themselves. So I was just like, we're not gonna have this. I'm not taking this. Like, this there's just so much injustice happening. Like, this is not fair. So I ended up becoming the bully's bully. I would bully the bullies. And I'm like, this is not cool. I would call them out on it, and they would try to fight back and with words. And I would really find ways to put them in their place and tell them if they had a problem with whoever in school. They had to go through me first. And that was the very first time I learned. I'm like, oh, cool. I don't like to take crap from anybody. Awesome.
Mahara Wayman [00:03:04]:
So I'm curious, did that only show up in school, or was that something that you developed and learned how to do at home or with family?
Aya Hojadova [00:03:13]:
Oof. Yeah. I was always III will definitely say I was a rebel. Pretty much all of my life. I grew up in a very closed off culture. So to be a Turkmen woman is almost like being a third class citizen. At least it is for me from a truckman woman perspective. And so I was always kind of told, like, I had to abide by all these rules and had to conform. So I rebelled, but because I was so young in such a closed off culture, I almost felt like it was 1, like, million versus 1. You know? I just felt like my odds of winning there were very low or my chances of winning any arguments were very low. So I don't feel like I controlled I had much control and power to stand out for myself in on the personal family side of things versus school, where it's just like me, my identity, I am Aya, I ghoul, I'm just gonna go and do me versus home. It's like, ugh. Now I have to abide by whatever the parents say the rules are, which is listen to what they have to say. Not cool.
Mahara Wayman [00:04:34]:
So thank you for sharing that story. And I I recall being young. And I was very I don't I don't think I was ever bullied, but I I didn't stand up for myself. I didn't really stand up for anybody. I was a little bit I was kind of afraid to do that. You know, I didn't find my voice until I don't know. 50 years later, but I think it's I think it's great that you you had that exposure so early to the understanding and have the understanding that life isn't fair. Right? So you left and moved to America when you were just a young girl, talk to us about how that transpired and how it felt coming from from the culture that you that you grew up in.
Aya Hojadova [00:05:22]:
Yep. So Turkmen culture, again, like, very closed off. Women had to follow the rules, listen to the the main person in the household. So I grew up in a I was raised by a single mom. So had to listen to my mom. She was an amazing mother. He had raised this well of my brother and I. So the culture itself, though, was just very closed off, and I had to learn to rebel against that or find ways not to identify with that. It took me a really long time to find that identity. And embrace even being a Turkmen. But when I came to America, like, a whole new world just opened up for me because now America's freedom. Right? Like, you can freedom of expression, freedom of speech. That was just such a foreign thing for me. And when we came to America, we actually we moved to San Francisco, the most diverse melting pot of diversity. Right? Like, with race, reality, everything, gender. So it was it was an amazing experience. But even then, like, I moved to America. I was 11 years old. Go to middle school, sixth grade, first year. No English. III come to America fresh off Don't know how to speak English. Don't know anything. Going to middle school the very first month, again, just bullies, like, find me and my new friends who also, like, just managed to somehow communicate between each other without really learning how to speak English So bullies would find me and my friends and then start picking up my friends. And, again, I had to find ways to communicate and express and protect my friends and also protect the crew, I guess. You know? So, yeah, just again, second time or, I guess, first time in America where I found myself in that position where the bully's bully had to show up again and just, okay, put people in their place regardless of your lack. At that moment. Find ways to protect yourself.
Mahara Wayman [00:07:24]:
So -- So I'm curious. I got this picture of this little 11 year old girl just putting her dukes up. Was this something did did you become a fighter per se? Physical fighter? Or was this more verbal? Or was it completely nonverbal? Because to your point, you didn't act you didn't even know English at that time. Yeah. So I think it was definitely
Aya Hojadova [00:07:42]:
this was not a physical altercation. This was nonverbal verbal verbal verbal communication, nonverbal, verbal. And the most English way, basic English communication possible. The I I don't even know how it all happened. It's just been so long ago, but I just remember it because I really do remember the boys coming in to us, and they were, like, picking on us. And I was just like, nope. We're not gonna have this. Get out of here. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:13]:
So amazing. So I'm curious if I were to if we were to interview some of your friends from grade school, how would you how do you think they would describe you? This this question just popped into my head, but
Aya Hojadova [00:08:26]:
No. Lit they literally would say badass. They've heard this thing that would come out badass because I'm always and I was thinking about it today. Like, I was thinking about our interview, you know, our session today, I'm like, okay. Well, what does badass really mean? It's sure. Like, there's parts of you that are rebellious, but what does it really mean? And to me, like, really what came out was courage. Like, you it takes courage to do something, like, to take action, like, that impulsive feeling that you have within yourself. Right? And it takes courage to go and act on that thing, and, like, that to me is badass. Like, knowing that you you most likely are freaking terrified and scared of the thing, but you're gonna go and do that thing anyway? That's freaking badass. That is That takes
Mahara Wayman [00:09:16]:
right? That's badass. So I'm glad that you brought that up. Let's talk about what courage means to you and how you've seen it played out over the years if you can give us some examples and just share with us because it's interesting. I just wanna say that I ask all my guests about badassery, and not everybody brings up courage, but you did. So I wanna go there.
Aya Hojadova [00:09:39]:
Let's go there. I can tell you. I'm more than happy to tell you, but it goes back to tying to Turkmen culture. So, again, Turkmen culture teaches women to abide by the rules. The rules are stay quiet. Don't communicate. No laughing. No showing off skin. You cannot do this and that. Right? There's just so many rules, but, again, most of it is you are groomed to be married. Right? It's very similar to the Indian culture. So that's that's your only purpose on in life as a Turkmen woman. So the fact that you have an opinion is already frowned upon. You're you're you're a bad woman. You're you're a terrible woman. Yeah. Just for existing and speaking or even speaking your own opinion. So that is what I had to overcome and work on my entire life to get to this position of, 1, I had to step into that power of, you know what? My opinion matters, my voice matters, my experience matters, my story matters, and I wanna share it with everybody. Who is willing to listen and hear me. And that took years. It took almost all my life to get there. And so that was the courage that I had to really step into, right, to address, like, okay. Well, all these people, this this entire country. The the the people that I'm accustomed to mentally think of are going to judge me My my people are going to judge me if I do this and this and this. So I had to step into that and say, you know what? No one's paying your bills but me. No one's paying the roof under this head but me. This life that we're living, this is all me. Screw everybody off and just go do that thing. Like, live your life. You know? So I had to go through this whole programming. And with that journey, of course, there were other, like, impactful things that happened, and I kinda mentioned that in my book. I go through divorce, go through I get fired from my corporate job. So I go through this whole, like, depression just to really, again, like, it's almost like a rebirth, second chance at life to go really again. Step into that courage. Again, this time, though, live your life the way you want to.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:12]:
Okay. So first of all, yay. I love your story, but I wanna just jump in and go back something that you mentioned earlier, a a word that pops comes up quite a bit, not only in my business, but also when I do this podcast, which is this idea of judgment and being judged. And I do believe that when we are badass, we it's not that we ignore judgment but we see it for what it is. So I'm wondering if you can talk a little bit more about how you overcame the fear of judgment of your own people?
Aya Hojadova [00:12:49]:
I had to work on my own identity, and it's unfortunately, I had to disown that identity in order to find myself because there was just so many things about being a Turkmen that did not align to who I was. And to me, like, I call San Francisco my home, and I actually I did my calculations. So I was like, oh, wow. I actually spent more of my lifetime in San Francisco than I did in Turkmenistan. So yeah, I I identify more with San Francisco than I ever will with Turkmenistan. And, unfortunately, I had to go from a place of I am not Turkmen to find myself and say, you know what? I am Turkmen, American. But I don't have to brush off the fact that I am Turkmen even though I am also a very proud American. And I can share and tell my story my way because I know for a fact, another Turkmen woman who is also an American will have a little similar yet different story than me.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:02]:
That's so beautiful and really powerful. It's a a powerful reminder that it's okay to take aspects of our culture and own them, celebrate them, and love them. And it's also okay to to leave some behind if if you don't resonate with it, if it doesn't work for you. It's a big challenge for I mean, I'm from Jamaica. And I've lived in Canada for, you know, 50 my goodness. For almost 50 years. And there are things that III joke actually that when I go home, totally Jamaican. When I go home for a visit, I'm totally Jamaican. When I'm here, I'm totally Canadian. Very proud of being Jamaican, and when I'm there, I'm very proud of being Canadian. But there are things that we adopt as being ours, and we're comfortable. And there are things that, you know, we cannot shy away from. I'm curious though how your brother you mentioned you bought her brother and, of course, your mom. How have they how they handled or reacted to your very obvious badassery when it comes to navigating being an American today?
Aya Hojadova [00:15:06]:
You know, they had a challenge for a really long time. I think up until I was 21, And then I had to have, as we call it at in my job in real estate now, come to Jesus talk. So we had to sit down and we had to have this conversation where I'm like, mom, brother, I am 21 years old. And at this point, you cannot tell me what to do. And I'm pretty sure you guys know how rebellious I am, and III will admit. I get triggered when someone tells me something in the very what's the word I'm looking for? Degrading way, especially when it comes from family. And it's jokes like, hey, woman. Get make me a sandwich. Right? Like, it's those types of jokes. Right? And in our culture, in Turkmen culture, that's it's not a joke. Like, in an American culture, it's a joke because we kinda know it's it triggers the women. Right? But no. No. It's a Turkmenistan. It's actually a fact and they expect you to do it, like, now. And if you don't, they it's it okay for a man, especially if he's your husband to it's okay for a husband to raise his hand on his wife. And the police in our in in Turkmenistan, they they they don't see that as a as abuse at all. It's it's he's just doing his duty as a husband. So yeah. No. My my family, they kind of accepted it, and there's just, like, the it is what it is. I it makes her own rules. We we're we're just grateful she's here.
Mahara Wayman [00:16:46]:
Oh, that's I I love that. Do you have a couple? Say that again? Do you ever go home?
Aya Hojadova [00:16:52]:
No. I I've they've had a couple of issues back home in terms of getting the visa and everything. Yeah. I would love to go back and visit, but I'm I'm happy where I'm at too.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:07]:
No comments. Okay. Beautiful. Well, that's fine. I've only you know, I didn't go home until I went back, I think, once in my twenties. Maybe twice, and then I didn't go home for, like, 30 years. I've just started to go home in the last 15 years with and bring my family. And it's not quite funny because my kids who work Canadian are like, as soon as we get to Jamaica, they're like, oh, no. I'm Jamaican. I'm like -- I love Oh, okay. They're the whitest Jamaicans you've ever seen.
Aya Hojadova [00:17:33]:
I love them. It's -- Yeah. And it's good because I don't think Jamaica has any that many restrictions, right, to fight and get a visa, to, like, with dual citizenship. Right? Okay. Good. Unfortunately, Turkmenistan does. So they actually -- give you that ultimatum, especially if you're an American Turkmen American. So I don't like ultimatum, again, and 1 of the other things I don't like. It's just don't put me in a position where I have to choose. Give me a choice, period. But don't put me yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:05]:
Sorry. No. It reminds me. When I first the very first time I flew home, I was in my mid twenties, and of course, on my passport, my Canadian passport, it shows where I was born. And when I handed the passport over at the airport going through security, they looked at me and said, oh, welcome home darling. And I started to cry. You can get emotional or something about it. It was so beautiful. I was like,
Aya Hojadova [00:18:32]:
Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:33]:
You know, I was I was 10 when I left, and I guess, you know, maybe 23 or 24 when I first when I went back on my own. And they looked they they said that, and it just was everything to me. That's beautiful. That was it was lovely. Okay. You said you mentioned where you are today, and I wanna talk about that. I wanna talk about the book, then I wanna talk about what you do for living today. Let's talk this book, how did this book come about?
Aya Hojadova [00:19:03]:
So this book came about So this book is based on my story of when I first hit depression. And, you know, I I went through this whole journey of trying to find a good healer, essentially. They couldn't find anybody. I've, you know, consider taking my own life, figured, you know, if that's the case, then might as well act like this is your second chance at life at this point. Pretend that you did die and you're living the best life of your life. What does that look like? And so that's where the journey of getting lost in the sauce and just creating the opportunities where I just allowed myself to follow the impulse as well as follow my desire well as follow my dreams. I allowed myself to follow those that path every single day almost, and it evolved into this sauce or, like, this recipe of, like, okay. What does restarting your life look like? Reinventing yourself. Like, overcoming all of these negative emotions and these negative feelings that you may face throughout the day, throughout your life. What does all of that look like? And So that's how the book came about is how did I find myself by allowing myself to get lost in the saws, get out of my own way, get out of that judgment zone, and just jump into this pool of unknown and go explore and enjoy life, but, like, experience it while also being very specific that this is the thing I wanna experience. And I can go deeper if you want about what I mean by that. First of all, I wanna say thanks for sharing.
Mahara Wayman [00:20:51]:
And you've touched on something that I think so many of our listeners are going to appreciate and understand which is it's tough being human, and it's not easy. And any no. Anybody who says it is, I don't think ever being honest. And they may need some help with that. But what I loved about what you said was what I heard was you gave yourself first of all, you recognized how you were feeling. And many of my clients that I deal with, that's that's a hard thing for them because we've all been raised in a society that says, especially as women. Don't talk back. Don't be upset. Get over yourself. Get on with it. Get a good job. Meet a good man. Or a good woman, like all of these things, all of these must haves. And along the way, many of us have just gotten into the habit of dampening down the feelings. So I love that you allowed yourself to feel even though it hurts. You know, even though it hurts, it's so important to feel those feelings. But what I also heard was you gave yourself permission to play. And life can be very challenging, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun. In the journey. So I'm curious, what type of what type of time frame did you give yourself? How long was this this opportunity of playing and and being very intentional with your choices and asking questions and learning about yourself. Was it a few months? Was it a few years?
Aya Hojadova [00:22:25]:
Yeah. No. That's a that's a this is a really great question. Thank you so much for the feedback. So I wanna just I wanna say because I I think this is another long answer. When you first start setting a goal, right, so I I let me go into I want the very first time I allowed myself to get lost in the saws was when I had that come to Jesus talk with myself. Right? Like, okay. This is my second time in life. What do you wanna do? I wanna do acting. The last time I did acting was in Turkmenistan when I was a little girl. I had so much fun, and thank you so much for saying that. Because, again, going to second life, I wanna have as much fun as I as I possibly can in the second life. So acting was it for me, and when the whole journey started, I applied to school. I started attending classes, then Signed up into casting networks and began to book my job and started to pick up like, the momentum started to pick up. I would get bookings left and right. As a model, as an actor, and I was just like, woah. Woah. Woah. It's feeding, like, this low self esteem, low self confident, depressed woman and feeding this this woman into building this, like, confident, empowered Turkman woman who I didn't even know I was. I've always I knew that I had it in me, but I never actually allowed myself to even feel it. So as I started to pick up that momentum, started to really feed myself energetically. I was just, like, getting all this fun allowing myself to have fun. I didn't realize at the time, but when you have give yourself time give yourself the opportunity to have fun. It actually fills you up even more, which gives you even more energy to have more fun. Like, I didn't know the math. So I'm playing, and I'm like, okay. This is great. Like, I'm so confident in myself. Oh my god. So I was like, alright. This is before COVID. So I'm like, I'm gonna give myself 3 years. I think I'm gonna hit LA. So I'm having, like, this grand idea of what I'm gonna do as an actor, as a model, and then COVID hits. And now I have to redirect my higher life goal. Right? First, I had this vision. Now I had to shift my shift my vision, shift my goals. I didn't even think I was gonna be living in Charleston didn't even know Charleston, South Carolina even existed at the time when I was pursuing acting. I'm thinking I'm gonna be in LA. I'm in San Francisco. And the time. So what I'm trying to say is allowing myself to get lost in the sauce. And though you may be so committed to, like, okay. I'm gonna give myself 3 years to explore this thing. It shifted for me. And now it's like, okay. Well, I'm gonna give myself 6 months for this, or I'm gonna do this and this. I'm gonna give myself 3 months before I move and make this move. And so in 21 20 21, I made the goal that I was gonna LA, and I ended up moving to South Carolina instead, again, shifting my focus and constantly allowing myself to play by allowing myself to explore my impulse impulsive ideas that would appear in my life throughout the day. Like, okay. Well, what would it be like to live in a completely new state by the beach? Nobody knows you. You're starting from scratch. Literally. What does that look like? Do you wanna go and just go and see what that's like, experience it? And it's just like, yeah. Let's go and do that. So it's just following that. So I've been on this journey of getting lost in the sauce since 20 19. That is all I can tell you. That's that's fun, Anthony.
Mahara Wayman [00:26:17]:
So so much fun. And I think, you know, 1 thing that I really resonate with is What I heard was you gave yourself permission to listen to your intuition and not be not be tied to any previous daydream. And I think that's really smart because All of these I believe that were spiritual beings having a human existence. And the closer we get to being our authentic self. The more the universe speaks to us and will bring us what we truly desire. But we have to be willing to look for it, or we have to be willing to entertain the idea that this could be it. And I think that's a really strong component being badass. And I'm pleased, people that are listening, I'm not saying that we should just change our mind willy nilly and jump from here to there. Of course, we want to build a life that is fulfilling and makes sense, and we've got other responsibilities. But recognizing that it is okay to pivot if something's not working out for you, it's okay to pivot. In fact, I would say if something's not working out for you, you really do need to look at it. Because that's the whole idea behind being authentic. Is that if you're truly authentic, you're never the chances of being of having a happier life, a happy life, I think, are greater than if we tamper down what it is that we really want. So okay. You've moved when you move to Charleston, did you get up the idea of of acting?
Aya Hojadova [00:27:49]:
I put it on hold. Okay. I took a break. I didn't retire. I was just like, I'm taking a break. I want to see this was COVID, so there weren't many acting jobs at the time. And and the jobs that were available in big cities like LA, San Francisco, New York, they all required COVID shot, and I just was not I 1, I'm afraid of needles. Just I just did not want to get boosted and just get you know, I'm a no boxer.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:25]:
Okay. So that's fine. So you moved to Charleston? And what next?
Aya Hojadova [00:28:31]:
What next? So I started actually writing more. I would I My first year, I finished my screenplay, my very first screenplay. It's a feature play for a for a film that I'm hoping to develop in the next few years. I also started my marketing consulting firm as well as well as as a business coaching firm, and it was primarily geared towards actors and, you know, storytellers, like, filmmakers, artists, but I just felt genuine and I did miss that human connection. So I started to again kind of allow myself to explore what that looked like. And at the time, my mom, she was in real estate. She was a she's a real residential realtor, and she just kept saying, like, why don't you try real estate? Why don't you try real estate? And she's like, I don't want real estate. I don't wanna do real estate. I don't want to sell homes. Like, that is so boring. I don't wanna look at homes. I don't wanna sell homes. And I'm like, wait. What other kind of real estate is there? And I started to look into commercial and everything I'm learning about commercial as I'm looking into it doing my own research. She's like, hey. This is literally everything in alignment to what I am currently doing. It's just in a different industry. And real estate or or just any business in general, you have to have sales and marketing background, which is all that's my experience. That is all I know what to do and how to do. So I'm like, okay. Then commercial real estate shouldn't be that hard. And so got my license and began doing commercial real estate and just been having the best time of my life.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:20]:
Okay. I wanna know. You gotta explain that because I am not into real estate at all. My mother-in-law is actually into real estate, and to me, it's very dry. So I I don't know. How is commercial real estate the best thing ever?
Aya Hojadova [00:30:37]:
I don't know. I love it so much. So on the commercial side, it is more on the numbers. And so we're really focused on looking at the financials. Oftentimes, you are serving at least on my end with my team, we're serving investors rather than the users, which are the business owners. So they're looking at the entire property, seeing how much income it's bringing in, cash flow that it's bringing in, every year and seeing if an investor is able to buy this property and maybe find different opportunity to increase the cash flow, increase the profits that they make every year?
Mahara Wayman [00:31:19]:
Well, I confess. I grew up. Well, like many of us, grew up in the seventies and sixties and seventies, and Monopoly was, like, the game of choice. So I do understand what a great investment real estate is But I wanna go back to this because your face just lit up. For those of you that aren't watching the actual video of this podcast, when I asked her to explain her love, of real estate that she's doing, not commercial real estate. The energy just went through the roof. Like, she just grew in like a Cheshire cat, and she's just she went fell back in her chair, smiled, which I love to see. So what else is it about the work that you do today that feeds your soul?
Aya Hojadova [00:31:59]:
Well, I I mean, I love the buildings. I think for me, it's the buildings themselves, especially the more distrust, the better. I don't know why. When I see distressed properties, sometimes I get sad, though, because I don't actually have a construction company. If I did, it'd be, like, perfect. Because I'm a visionary. So when I see a distressed property, I'm thinking like, oh my god. There's just so many different opportunities to put a business in there. You can do so many different things as a business owner, whoever that business owner is. So I'm constantly thinking of, like, future future. Opportunities of that building and the impact that it can make on a community. Like, that to me is what gets me excited. The fact that, like, my job impacts many people. It's not just, like, 1 person. It it impacts a lot of people, and I had a play in that. I I got to be a part of that, and I think that's an incredible experience that not a lot of people get to have.
Mahara Wayman [00:33:02]:
So -- Well, I love that. It's 1 of the reasons why, you know, I love what it is that I do as a coach is that, you know, I feel like I'm here to serve. And, you know, years ago, I didn't quite understand what it meant that way. You know, when people would say, oh, you should be in service. Didn't really quite understand. But I'd I'd love hearing your description, and you're right. You are a visionary. I'm curious, though, if there is a connection, if you can if you can make a bridge from your earlier learnings of how to stand up for yourself, you know, first and fourth grade. And then when you came to America, you had to learn again how to stand up for yourself, especially as you didn't have, you know, the lang the English language. But has though have those skills translated into skills that you've needed today as, you know, as a commercial realtor?
Aya Hojadova [00:33:54]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. The commercial real estate is definitely not an easy industry to break into. There are a lot of top dogs who do bully the new or the the underdogs. So when you do come across those, you kinda have to put them in their place, and you have to play nice because sometimes you will come across them. You will do some transactions with those agents. So it's better not to have those kind of awkward experiences. You know? But at the same time, I'm the type of person who's not gonna allow anyone to walk all over them. So, yeah, you just kinda have to stand up for yourself, like, commercial real estate out of all the industries. Like, that's 1 where you really have to own yourself and stand up for yourself. Otherwise, you'll get eaten.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:49]:
Now that you're in the commercial real estate business and loving it, doing such an amazing job. Is there still the dream you mentioned that you've written the screenplay, but is there still the dream to act?
Aya Hojadova [00:35:03]:
Yes. I'm so I feel almost like I would love to be the next Quentin Tarantino. And that's a big statement. And I I would it would be an honor if I would ever be the next Quentin Tarantino. I don't think I ever will be, but Anyway, so what I love about Quentin Tarantino, I'm not sure how familiar you are with him as a okay. So I I'm pretty sure everybody is. But what I love about him is it like, I believe almost all of his movies, he plays he he shows a shows up. Right? Like, he has a Cammy. That's what I would love to do is just kind of have, like, 1 of those maybe background roles so that people know who I am, but they I'm not the 1 who this steals the show. When I was first acting, when I first embarked on the journey, I was just like, I wanna be a lead. I want to be a lead. I don't even want to be supporting actor. I just want to be a lead, and I did. I ended up being a lead at for a feature film. I had the like, I don't wanna say I had the worst experience of my life, but it definitely not pleasant. And I don't mind not being the lead anymore because there's just so much pressure. There's so much mental doubt that goes through your head. I would not wish that on anybody. As much as I love it, I'd rather just not be.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:30]:
What what I'm hearing is being the lead. Comes with its own level of stress and opportunity for personal growth. Whether you're for it or not. I like to put these in a positive light. But so you have had that experience, and I think Quentin Tarantino is brilliant and love a lot of his films. So you've written a screenplay. Can I can you tell us about it?
Aya Hojadova [00:37:00]:
It's been so long. I I actually have so many outlines and so many ideas, so many drafts waiting to be touched by me. But this is 1 that I feel proud to finish. It's I'm hoping it hoping it'll be a trilogy. We'll see. There's definitely a second version coming out. But the title of the the screenplay is called Angel's Paradise. It's it's a spin off of the godfather, but the modern version, and it's very heavily focused on women being the badass that they are.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:39]:
Okay. I am so intrigued now. I can't wait to learn more about this when you are ready to share it. So I just wanna make sure I've got everything here. You are a writer, and you've got a book. And and folks just didn't just know that I will drop in the show notes directly that you can purchase for book. So you're a writer. You're obviously a badass commercial realtor. You're also an actress. Is there anything else creatively that you'd like to share with us?
Aya Hojadova [00:38:12]:
So I like to dance. I'm a freestyler. I freestyled pretty much all of my life. So that's also another fun thing I like to do for fun. Yeah. I have a lot of passions and interests. You know, I I forgot to mention I wanted to be a Quentin Tarantino. Part of it is because I wanna write my own films, and I wanna produce my own film, and I wanna direct my own film. So I'd rather be the person behind the scene rather than take be the spotlight. Right? Be in the spotlight. So
Mahara Wayman [00:38:51]:
No. I think that's great. And I can see a parallel with what you do for a living right now as you're behind the scenes. But, you know, commercial real estate That's pretty those are some big bucks and some big opportunity. And I look at you. You're gridding again. I just have to say the word commercial real estate, and you start grin and laugh. It's so beautiful. I love it. Yeah. But I I do see the similarities between, you know, making a difference in the world whether it is through your writing or through negotiating and navigating commercial real estate sale where you can perhaps affect a community with a rebuild or a redo or a re or a new vision. Those are big things. And to translate that into the film industry as a producer, director, writer, all of those things. I mean, I do see a connection there. And I, for 1, can't wait to say, oh my gosh. I met her when. Oh, I know her. Let's go to her movie because I know we're friends. I am so excited for you. I'm curious, though. 1 of the things that I like to do on this podcast is well, there's a couple things. If you were to be able to speak to fourth grade Aya, today. What would you say to her after this beautiful journey that you've gone through? You you have gone through a lot, but you're in a really great place now. Would you say to her?
Aya Hojadova [00:40:22]:
I would I'm laughing because it's almost ironic because that's 1 thing I hate, is keep the anger to yourself. Like, keep it in. Don't let it out. Because I'm a burst. Once you get me angry, especially out of when I was in fourth grade, I was I was a very angry kid. So I I would really be out there. So really just tell myself, keep it all in. It's okay. It's, like, not to express yourself. Like, you don't need to you don't need to show people the crazy side of you. And the reason why I'm laughing, right, because in my culture again, it goes back to don't don't talk. Right? Don't show yourself. Don't be yourself. Don't even tell people who you are. So I think it's funny and ironic. That I'm saying this to myself because throughout my lifetime, I think me getting pissed off and getting triggered because of my Turkman culture and the way it was and how I disagreed with it. It triggered I allowed it to trigger me. So I guess, essentially, what I'm trying to say is, 1, don't show that you're being triggered. And I know for a kid at who's in fourth grade, that's very difficult to do, but do your best, little girl.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:46]:
Well, I think I I felt myself talking along there, and I felt myself saying, honey, you have no idea how amazing life is gonna be for you. So don't fret don't fret this little stuff. You don't have to you don't have to show at all. As pretty soon, you're gonna be living the life of your dreams. So beautiful.
Aya Hojadova [00:42:08]:
It's it's I wish I wish I knew at a younger age where impressions really do matter and how you react and the impressions you leave -- with other people do matter too because every 1 of us, all the strangers, they all have a different memory of us. So just having that impression of, like, oh, she's not crazy. She's not easily triggered, and she's not just this crazy angry person. I think that would make would be helpful. But now I'm I'm just about to unpack some a whole new worms that were just yeah. So I don't even wanna go go in there. And what and I think it's really interesting that
Mahara Wayman [00:42:59]:
for every action, and we've heard this all our lives, for every action, there's a reaction. And for every for every How do I wanna say this? There are processes and tools that can take us forward. And I believe there are processes and tools that can take us backward. And part of being human is navigating when is it best to do it to use this or to think this or to do this. And there is no it's not it's never black and white. And you just proved that by saying, wow. Wanna go back and say to my younger self exactly what I was so upset about. But now that I'm an adult, I realized that I didn't have it didn't have to be that hard. I didn't have to be so vocal. I could have, you know, given myself permission to sort of tone it down a bit or So bottom line, we are very complicated beings. If we don't come while I believe we're spiritual beings having a human existence, we still have to go through the lessons, and we still have to make the choice for ourselves. Speaking of choices, what are some things that you do on a regular basis you think that help you to feel badass? I wanna make sure my list have some more takeaways because not everybody's gonna wanna get into real estate. You know, me, for sure. But how how are you being how are you being bad ass on a regular basis, do you think?
Aya Hojadova [00:44:27]:
Allowing myself to feel the feelings. So going back to that anger was when I feel angry or when I'm feeling disappointed, when I'm feeling something, I allowed myself to just sit there and feel that emotion. That's oh, that actually helped me find the inner badass. That was in there somewhere. And sometimes when you're feeling sad or when you're feeling, like, frustrated, For me, personally, if I have these, like, high intense emotions at the moment, I'm gonna sit down and I'm gonna reflect on them or breathe, meditate, And then through that, if it's through meditation or just quiet time, I will find that inner voice within myself. That it's like, you know, you're not you you're here you are sitting and doubting yourself, going through all like, making this list of things of why you suck, do you really believe this? Like like, let let's be let's be real. You know? So, again, having allowing myself to feel the feelings so then I can go in through the go through that journey of feeling the feelings even if if that means 5 minutes, 30 minutes, whatever, whole day. It doesn't matter. Right? Every experience is unique in its own way. But through that experience, I allowed myself to then find that inner badass. So that's just allow myself to get lost in the sauce. That's it. So beautiful and so poignant and so true.
Mahara Wayman [00:45:52]:
So, I mean, badassery in my world is all about being authentic, being you. Sometimes, I ain't very happy. Sometimes I'm very silly. Sometimes I'm afraid. And sometimes I can get lost in that fear. And what I say to myself, And what I'll say to clients is it's okay to feel it. You don't have to live there, though. Right? You don't have to live there. And just because you feel it doesn't make it true. And this big difference. So I love that you've just brought this all home in that for you, all your life, it sounds like, you've worked really hard to feel the feelings whether it was anger, disappointment, fear, confusion, creativity, whatever it is, give yourself permission to feel it and make a decision. If this works for you, okay. If it doesn't work for you, that's okay too. Right? That's okay too. Because however you are is great.
Aya Hojadova [00:46:45]:
Yes. Exactly.
Mahara Wayman [00:46:46]:
Very nice. Fantastic. Well, we are going to be sure, folks, I'm gonna put in my show notes how you can connect with her. I would love for you all to get her book. And thank you so much for joining us today. This has been a really a really beautiful conversation. And like I said, I'm gonna walk down the red carpet as your friend 1 day to 1 of your movies, and it'll be a ton of fun. But I do I do wish you all the best, and thank you again for joining us everyone for joining us today on this episode of the art of badassery. Love to get some feedback. Love to get some comments on this episode. And if anybody is in the Charleston area looking for some support to purchase and or sell commercial real estate, you know who to go to. My name is Mahara, and this has been the art of badassery. We'll see you next week.
