Mahara Wayman [00:00:00]:
Welcome everyone to another exciting episode of the Art of Badassery. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman. Today we have an extraordinary guest who epitomizes the essence of being a true badass. Joining me today is Kimberly Rivando-Robb, a visionary CEO and founder of the Creative Power House Retroscripts. But her journey to success wasn't a straightforward path It was a wild ride fueled by dreams and a thirst for adventure. Growing up in the nineties, Kimberly's imagination knew no bounds, as she dreamed of being a race car driver, an author, a writer for National Geographic, an actress, and even more. Her small-town roots in Milton inspired her to pursue a life of freedom and happiness that she has undoubtedly achieved in her unique way. Now based in the picturesque Crystal Beach, Ontario Kimberley's boundless creativity and determination led her to establish a thriving writing and creative business Retroscripts. Under that umbrella, she has Retroscripts Writes and Retroscripts Creates. But it's her approach to life that sets her and truly makes her a badass. Kimberly Fairlessly embraces her demons, keeping them on a leash as her trusted companions, empowering her to face challenges head on with a resounding fuck it. Let's do it attitude. Kimberly's story is about resilience, tenacity and embracing the unconventional. Beyond her business acumen, she finds joy in reading, gardening, and spending quality time with her loved ones, allowing her imagination to roam freely and unbridled. Throughout this episode, we'll dive deep into Kimberly's journey, exploring her lessons, the hurdles she's overcome, and the unwavering determination that propels her forward. Get ready to be inspired peeps to be motivated and encouraged to unleash your inner badass. as we learn from the woman who knows that being fearless doesn't mean being without fear, but feeling it and doing it anyway. So let's welcome my guest, Kimberly. Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you for having me. I'm excited. Most of you won't know this, but the very first time I was on a podcast, I was on her podcast. You were? It's a little surreal having the tables turned 2 years later. I think it's been 2 years since I was first on your podcast. So welcome, welcome, As you know, Kimberly, this podcast is all about talking through and about what we feel has led us to to be badass. I want everybody out there to know that they probably already are badass even if they don't think it. So Earlier we were talking about your upbringing, can we go back to one of the biggest reasons that you feel you have developed into the woman that you are today? You mentioned that you were the only black family in Milton and that it had a profound effect on you. Can we talk about that for a bit?
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:03:23]:
First of all, I believe that everybody has these badass qualities and these badass powers that we bring in bring out when we're speaking to other people. But I think that there is a moment where you look back on where you came from. For me, it was growing up in Milton as one of the only black families. and where the strength came from to be a true badass. And for me, it was being seen but unseen at the same time. This is gonna sound weird, but I didn't realize that I was black until I was in 3rd grade, which when I tell a lot of people they're like, okay. Wait. Didn't you look at a mirror? And I did. But as kids, you don't really notice that you're different from everyone else. But it was when I was in 3rd grade, I started noticing people treating me differently, mostly adults, but kids too. So I was bullied relentlessly. Half the time, I didn't even realize I was being bullied. by the little side remarks that people would say. But there was one girl. I won't tell you her name, but she would beat me up every day. I would never fight back. She threatened to rub dog poop in my face so that my dad could never find me. And because that's what I was made of, said she's gonna color my eyeballs black. So at night, nobody could see all these things. And I could feel as this was going on, I told teachers and nothing ever really happened. It wasn't until she pushed me and tried to cut my hair that I actually retaliated. ended up getting in a massive fight, and I don't think she realized that I had beaten martial arts from the age of six. So the rule in our house was you never lay your hands on another person unless you're in the ring. Well, I wasn't in the ring, but I stood up for myself. And when I went home that night and the teacher had written a note and they'd called home, I expected my dad to scream at me. and he looked me in the face and he's like, good. And I was kind of like, wait. I'm not supposed to be fighting. I guess that good. And he said there's gonna come a time when you have to fight. Maybe not with your arms and not with your fists and everything, but you have to fight for yourself. nobody's gonna do it for you. And as a kid, I was like, but I I want you to fight for me. And he said, no. I don't have to. You can do it. and it took me years to understand that he was actually, like, empowering me. He was pushing me forward to be my own savior, my own guardian kind of thing. but I didn't see it like that at the time. Right? So -- I gotta jump in here though. How old were you when you had this altercation with the girl? I believe a little bit of being 8, but it started way earlier, like, from kindergarten until grade 6 is when it stopped. But this was in grade 3 when I had that kind of realization.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:05]:
You know, I thank you for sharing that story, and my heart is breaking for you. And to be honest, for all of us, I thought it was really interesting how you said. I didn't realize I was blocked until it was pointed out to me basically. And I can relate to that. I'm from Jamaica, and I didn't realize I was different until I moved to Canada and people pointed and they labeled me. Exactly. And they didn't actually I don't recall that they labored me labeled me as a black girl, but they just pointed and said, Whatever it was they said, it was a label that I felt different. And it's, I mean, we live in a different world today, but how could that not have a profound effect on you?
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:06:45]:
Definitely. So the source that goes into being black as well that if you don't grow up around it, you just don't recognize that you're special. You're a badass as well. Right? So
Mahara Wayman [00:06:57]:
What I'm hearing though is out of necessity, many of us have to be even extra bad ass because we have strategies thrown at us like labels, like gaslighting, like bullying, I love that your father from a early age said, I can't do everything for you.
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:07:20]:
Exactly.
Mahara Wayman [00:07:20]:
And I think that's very, very powerful. How does your dad today feel about his bad ass girl? I'm curious.
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:07:28]:
I think that he loves that I'm very bad ass, very upfront. I know at times he'd probably rather I was a little quieter and maybe didn't put myself out there as much and talk so much. But I think he's very proud. of the woman that he's raised. I think you could probably understand this as well. You're always told to kind of hide, like, keep your mouth shut Don't make yourself obvious. Don't draw attention to yourself, especially being the only black person. You don't want all eyes to be on you as a child or as a teen. when you're doing stuff that maybe you shouldn't be doing, but you're just following along with your friends. So I would say today, he's looking back, and he's like, you did good compared to what you could have done. If I was the way I am today with the way I stand up and I really fight for what I want, I don't know that the the teen years would have been as great because he would definitely have to have to be more involved. But now he's seeing, like, there's a reason why he empowered me as a female and as a black female. So with my daughter now, I know that sees the way the world is going, and he wants my daughter to be pretty much exactly the way I am. He won't say it like that, but that's what he wants.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:39]:
Beautiful. We'll talk about family a little bit later, but talk to us a little bit about your life changing moment on the beach. because that's a great story. I know it from before, but I know that our listeners will enjoy hearing it. So take us back to that moment.
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:08:56]:
Definitely. Just bring you up to that moment. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis when I was thirteen. I had major depressive major depressive disorder. I had anxiety, just everything from being bullied and having things happen at a young age. In high school, I was sexually assaulted, and obviously not having my dad is round because around as much as I wanted him to, he was traveling for work most of my life. I didn't have a good relationship with my mother was constantly sleeping at other people's homes and just trying to figure out where I belonged. So by the time I hit, gonna say 22 after university, I had a lot happen. So all the things I just mentioned Being in university, my best friend, unfortunately, commit suicide, had to work 3 jobs to put my way through school, still supporting my siblings just a lot on my shoulders. And I did an experiment that I will say you shouldn't really do where I didn't reach out to anyone for a couple weeks. I wanted to see who was gonna reach out to me because I was always the person that people would come to for support. So if they had somebody or something happened in their life, they needed to talk about it. They would always come to me as their their best kind of thing. I was constantly checking up on people that I worried about, and that's one of my bad ass powers I'd like to say. But not having someone reach up to me to say, hey, Kim. How are you? It played a game in my head when I was at my lowest and I ended up sitting on a beach. It had literally been a month since I spoke to anybody. Nobody had reached out. I felt very alone, and I was sitting on the beach really down with my cat psycho, and it hit me that I didn't have to be sitting like this. I could walk out into the water and just disappear. in my head at the time, nobody would ever notice. Who would care? Like, I'm nobody. Right? So I literally was sitting there. I stood up. and I went to take a step, and my cat scratched my ankle. Her name's Psycho for a reason, like she is Psycho, but her and I have been through everything together. When I lived out of a van, she lived with me out of the van. She's been through everything, and she's the person I always spoke to. So I say she's my soul mate. And so when she scratched me, I kinda looked at her and was like, go away. I'm I'm doing this. I'm done. And then she bit me. And it was almost like, as if to say, are you kidding? Are you really gonna leave me behind? So I sat back down, and I looked at her, and it was a crazy moment where we're just staring at each other. But you know when you hit that moment when you stare at someone and they're reflecting back to you all the amazingness and all the goodness and just everything you need to hear. So I ended up in tears, and I was like, who am I? Like, what am I doing? I'm trying to live this life that isn't me. I'm trying to be friends with these people who don't really like me. They just like the fact that I'll listen. I'm trying to work jobs that I don't care about. Like, who am I? So that was the start of my path where I truly worked hard to figure out who the hell I was and why I was here on this earth. And I'll say from that moment, I don't think a day's gone by when I haven't checked in and being like, you're a badass. Put every little negative thought you have away. You have a purpose. and you have a job to do, so go and do that job. And it's worked out well. But without Psycho who is my who was or she passed away 2 years ago, who was my best friend. She just she taught me more than I would say anyone's ever taught me. about being a badass and about bringing myself up and raising myself up. Okay.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:45]:
I have the shiver on that story and I have heard it before. So many things about that story that I love, so thank you for sharing it with us. 1st. it highlights, you know, there's there's lots of memes. The Internet is full of memes about cats -- Mhmm. -- dogs. Most golden Retrivers, that's what I watched because I had 2 golden Retrivers, I also have a cat. But what's so beautiful about all the cat memes and the running theme of the cat meme is don't mess with them. They don't need you. They are fully aware of how great they are and how beautiful they are and how amazing they are. And I love that cycle was able to mirror back to you in that moment and that you were willing to see, right? Because so many of us are not willing to see the beauty that we bring to the world for lots of different reasons. This isn't about shaming, this is about the honest conversation that when we are It can be really challenging to see that. Right? I'm different. I'm not doing what everybody thinks I should do. I wanna know, though, I'm curious, these friends that you realized you didn't actually like that much or they only liked you for one aspect. Are you still friends with any of them? Are they still in here? Are they long gone? They're long gone, and it there's nothing wrong with them.
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:14:03]:
It's more that there in their world, and I was on the outskirts. I was only need when I when needed kind of thing. And that was an interesting thing that I realized was I don't need need friends. I want people in my life. And as soon as I recognize the kind of people I wanted, that's when those people start coming. So I say I have my handful, and that's three people I can turn to no matter what. And then I have my other handful, which is people like you, who I know see the greatness in me, and I connect with on the same level. I don't need to be there for everybody. I don't need to be liked by everybody because there's billions of people in the world. I'd say half of them aren't gonna like me because of who I am, and that's okay. I have to be okay with who I mean, that's the most important thing,
Mahara Wayman [00:14:51]:
and it goes from there. And that actually I mean, that is the basis of being bad ass. It's not about how much money you make, how how good you look. you know, what you do for a living or who you're married to, it really is acknowledging that you're awesome just the way that you are. Exactly. And don't have to change for anybody. And that it's okay to speak your truth. It's okay to say that doesn't work for me or wow, I would love it if you did this. So thank you for sharing that. It's so so powerful. It's just unfortunate that so many of us still to this day struggle with wanting to fit in. And I don't know, you know, it's easy for us to blame social media. But guys, this was happening long before Facebook. Okay? So stop blaming social media. for it in its entirety. We are we've been born into a society that has challenges and problems and it becomes generational. And so I love that so many of us are having these conversations today. I love that so many of us are looking help and getting coaching and therapy and understanding and that we're having the conversations. Mhmm. When years ago, we would never have had this conversation. It would have been, oh, hi. What do you do? Oh, that's nice to meet you. Oh, that's okay. Oh, that's what you do for a living? Oh, oh, that's what you know, I do this for a living. and it would be very surface, I think. I just love how open we are today to talking about the things that matter, and that's why that's why we're having this conversation. Okay. So you grew up in a small town in Milton. You struggled, bullied, gaslighted, had some real challenges. You graduate from school, you do this experiment, you come out of it ahead with your cat in your arms recognizing that you can make a difference new world. When did you start this business retro scripts?
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:16:41]:
I believe I'm going into my 8th year now. So 8 years ago, I was working at a high this, and I was working at a physiotherapy clinic as a receptionist. Great places to work. don't get me wrong. But while I was doing the reception work, I was sitting there, and I realized I this is not what I wanna do. I went to school with my English and English language and literature degree. I got my postgraduate in journalism, yet I was being a secretary. And that's not who I I know I am. I'm the person who wants to travel the world. When I said I wanted to write for National Geographic, I wanted to go to 3rd both countries. I wanted to write about the truth of what I was seeing, not the stuff that we are told here. Unfortunately, I was told that would not a good idea as a female And as the female who would definitely help in certain situations, they said you won't live very long. So I kind of pivoted. And I was like, okay. What can I do? What can I do while I'm here? Working at the hospice, will never forget. I had a one resident who I was helping. She was having a difficult death, and it was because she was holding so much in. So you and I and everybody in the world, we have these stories that we need to tell. We're building stories as we build memories. yet when we die, that all goes with us. And that is actually literally something I think about every day. How every moment, no one's gonna know about it. I can't share this beauty. So with this resident who was passing away, I scribbled down on a night shift on a piece of play paper as much information as she could give and I gave it back to her. I couldn't do anything with it because it's confidential. I only did it so that she could release what was inside. she gave it to her. I think it was twelve year old daughter who was gonna miss out on so many memories, and it changed things. Instead of having this difficult kind of angst ridden death, she had this beautiful moment where she gave the daughter the book and the daughter could read about her mom burning her bra. Her mom dancing on top of a bar at the local pub. She wrote all this stuff but her but her life. And her daughter could, like, connect, and her daughter found kind of wisdom and love within that story. So then it kinda got me thinking, how can I blend my want to travel the world and write the truth with telling people stories and really connecting people in my life and around the world together. So that's when Retchoscripts was born. it started out as just memoirs and legacy writing, but then I realized as business owners, we're trying to tell a story. We're trying to showcase a part of ourselves. And if I can help people do that, then, yeah, this is amazing. So now 8 years later, it's blown up into something I never thought it would when I first started, but it keeps being about people. People people people. who we are and the inside, the true who we are. And when I say true, I don't mean all the good, the great, the positive because life isn't just that. there's so many negatives. So I always say when I'm working on, purchase scripts creates doing my courses, being a badass isn't just going out there in fighting the world. It's not going out there and just being a great happy person who gives and gives is about honoring who you truly are. So if on the inside, you're a person who is a little harder. You're rough. You're rough. Then you look for your badass power within that. Don't change yourself. because it's not possible. In saying this, I think about my wife actually because she is very she puts herself first. She knows what she wants, and she goes for it. At first, I was like, you're an asshole. Like, how? Like, how how do you function like this? Now I see she has boundaries. Nobody messes with her, and she's happy because of those boundaries, and they're necessary. I wish mine were stronger like hers, but I'm working on it. But don't change who you are. It's about finding out who you are and then working to that. there's gonna be people out there that are gonna be your people no matter what. I did have someone the other one day, a male in a cancer group that I was teaching, of course, that say, well, if I'm an asshole, who wants to be around me? And I'm like, me. And he said, why would you wanna be around that? I'm like, I love your honesty. I love your authenticity. You are who you are. And when you put it out there, I think you're a great person. He's kind of taken aback because I guess too many people had told him, Don't be like that. Don't be like that. And he tried his whole life to change, and you could almost see him drop his shoulder. Oh, I can just be. And he's a great guy. Yeah. He's rough. He's rough. He's kind of grouchy, but it's magical when he opens up and speaks. So Think of how much we're hiding by holding back and try to fit into these rules in these boxes fuck boxes. I'm sorry. No. I can't do them.
Mahara Wayman [00:21:46]:
a great story and what a beautiful way to reframe what's typically considered bad behavior. And, you know, all I could think of when you were telling the story was how many times with my children? I allowed them to be to have the tantrum or to be miserable or to be over tired without scolding them. And then it's like, oh, I'm getting permission to just feel the way I'm feeling. Wow. thanks. I feel okay now. I feel better now. And it's so we forget about that. This that's actually really that's super cool. I love that story. I also love that you started with Legacy writing because years ago, I had an idea to write, do the exact same thing. Now I never acted on it. I would have been in my twenties. So 30 years ago, I thought, oh, maybe I could make a living writing people's stories that are older. and I never took any did anything with it. So I love that you did and have I actually have another friend who is a death doula. that comes into play a little bit in helping her clients create a legacy book or legacy story if that's what they want And by the way, people you may not know this, but I was on her podcast 2 years ago, and then I hired her to be my writing coach. So She has been instrumental in supporting me as a new writer, and I've loved every second that we have spent together. and the the support and the mentorship that she's given me has been amazing. So if anybody out there is interested in that, please check the show notes because I will include all the different way that you can connect with Kimberly. I am curious though you have a four year old daughter who is just absolutely adorable. What is one thing well, or 5, but we'll start with 1. What's something that she's taught you that came as a surprise?
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:23:35]:
One thing. There's so many things that she's taught me. And the biggest thing right now is to just be in the moment. And I'm very much in the moment person, but I'm a planner. Like, you know, Mohara, I like planning my days, and nothing's been working out lately. for the whole summer, our plan this day, what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna work on my business. I'm gonna do this, and it all goes to crap. And I, at first, was getting really upset. Like, I have things to do. I and she said, but mommy, look. And when we look out the window and it's raining, I'm like, yeah. It's raining. So I'm gonna work. And she's like, no. We should go outside. So then I started listening to her. And whenever she said we were gonna do something, I just did. So we're gonna go slide in the mud. Yep. Let's go slide in the mud. I don't care about the laundry or anything. oh, you wanna go just stare at the clouds? Okay. We're gonna go stare at the clouds. And I realized I'm still getting everything done that I want to get get accomplish, but I'm so much more relaxed. She's teaching me to just slow down. And one of the biggest thing I've always said to people is I don't fit into society. I don't think half of us fit into the society that we live in at all. But the rules that were put there where a put b where a put there years years ago by people that aren't living the same way that we're living right now. and nobody said I had to follow all the rules. Nobody said that I have to work 9 o'clock to 5 o'clock, and then I have to come home and make dinner, and then I have to So I rewrote all of our family rules. So our rules fit us as long as we're following those, I'm happy. might get us into trouble along the way. That's fine. I'll deal with that, but I'm following our rules. And half of them Frey has actually written herself. because they just make sense. It's really cool. Another thing sorry. Go ahead. Oh, it's amazing. Thank you.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:29]:
Your own family rules. Sorry I interrupted, but -- No. -- so cool. I love that you are allowing your daughter to teach you things. That is such a gift.
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:25:38]:
It's important. Yeah. Okay. Got it. Well, the other thing is the feeling the feelings like we spoke about earlier, I'm a very emotional person. I can hide it quite well as I had to do with the hospice because you weren't bringing your own emotions and everything in. So you kinda had to suppress them. But I am that big emotion person. When I'm happy, I'm happy. When I'm angry, I am angry. and when I'm sad, I'm sad. So I know my emotions are big, but I used to suppress it. No. You can't cry Kim. No. if you're angry, no. People are gonna look at you. You don't wanna be seen that way. Don't don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Well, a three year old doesn't know how to hide that stuff. When she's happy, holy crap. The whole house is happy. When she's mad, you're going to hear her from down the street. And I realized after she gets mad and she throws this massive temper tantrum, She's just like a ball of sunshine. I'm like, you were just melting down. Why are you so happy? And it's because she released whatever was going on inside her. she does not regulate. Half us adults don't know how to regulate properly, but she just let out everything she needed to let out. and then she was happy again. So now when I'm angry and, like, really angry, I let it out. I'm out in the backyard smashing plates or screaming, and it feels amazing. And it's shocking that we as adults don't do this more often. I think we should. I was thinking about a workshop, actually, of what I could do where we can destroy things and just let out our feelings. but it's important because as we hold it in, it's more energy to hold on to all that negativity than just to let it out. When I'm happy, I've gone in the habit of actually messaging people and being like, you know what, Maher? I love you. You're pretty freaking awesome. And you can see people kind of Oh, that's weird. I don't know how to take this, but I'm like, we're so not used to hearing that stuff. But if if that's what I'm feeling, you're gonna feel it too. I'm gonna put it out there. and that all stems from her telling me every day. Mommy, you're awesome. Mommy, I love you, or I'll be wearing the ugliest t shirt. Mommy, I love that t shirt. And I'm like, cool. You you really make me feel good. And I'm like, wait. I could do that to everybody every day. and it's not that much work. Why not put that out there? Right? So there's all these little experiments I'd be experimenting with lately, and it's pretty magical.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:05]:
I love it. Not only are you badass, but so is your daughter, and it sounds like your wife is badass too. I I really wanna just go back to this idea because I've talked about it in other episodes, the body holds everything. So what I heard you say was somatically, if I'm feeling like shit, I wanna deal with it and acknowledge it. If I'm feeling so badly that there's so much bottled up emotion, I will release it. and that's such such a smart move because for those of you that are new to the world of somatics, you know when you're feeling awful. when you dampen it down and ignore it or pretend it's not there, and this happens a lot when we try to fit in, when we try to be something we're not. it just gets worse and worse and worse to the point where you sit on a beach with your cat wondering if anybody will miss you when you're gone. So if you're feeling it, feel it, good, the bad, the ugly because the emotions don't make you good, bad, or ugly. They're just emotions. It's relationship with it. that determines how it plays out. So you can change your relationship by just being it and acknowledging, I feel like a bitch today. Yeah. That wasn't very nice what I said to myself maybe or to someone else, but that doesn't make you a bad person. So a little bit of a sidetrack there, but I love that you brought in this idea of somatics and releasing the energy because when all of a sudden done folks, we are all made up of energy. And when we have, I was gonna say the balls, but I'm gonna say when we have the vagina, our behavior and our energy and the fact and our choices, then we are that much closer to being the badass that we are are meant to be. So don't hesitate to question, sit down, be quiet, break the rules, make new rules, laugh, love, sing, dance, jump on a podcast, all of these crazy things that you can do to explain. How can our listeners connect with you? What's the best way?
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:30:09]:
Okay. The best way is if you wanna talk to me in private email. messaged me an email. But on Instagram, I'm having a lot of fun with Instagram, sharing things that I'm going through, and how I'm dealing with them. And I say dealing because I'm flowing through and I'm experimenting. I'm just feeling things out. I just started going through menopause, and I've never heard anyone talk about menopause openly before. So now I'm like, no. I'm gonna be that person, and I'm gonna talk about all of it. all of the messiness that is magical messiness that is menopause. Because as a female, it's something we're supposed to be quiet about and just deal with on our own. there are things I never knew were going to happen happening, and nobody warned me. So now I wanna be that person that just deals it. We were just talking about emotions and somatics and feeling into what was going on. I didn't know that I could flip from being emotionally crying my eyes out to just rage filled. And my doctor said, oh, yeah. It's normal. It's menopause. And I was like, This cannot be normal. So now it's, like, sitting with it, getting to know who Kimberly is now that things are changing. And we all change year by year. You have to go back and get to know yourself every year. Who are you this year? What do you like this year? What are you feeling this year? this week, this day, whatever it is. Get to know yourself. So if you go on my Instagram page, you're gonna see my face quite a bit now moving forward. just sharing all this information, sharing all these life stories and tips that I've picked up. As you said, I have a podcast that I'm actually looking for people to come on and share their story, whatever it is. I would love if people reached out to me about that.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:50]:
Those are the 2 main ways I'd say. Well, I will be putting that information in the show notes. And can I just say what a delight it is to to hear you talk about the questions that you have about menopause. Because I'm in the same boat. I am a little bit older than you, and I didn't even think I was missing out because to your point, no one talks about it. It's not like I didn't show up for the class, we we are in a society that only now in its 2023 are women beginning to talk about this stage of our lives and it is so I'm I'm nowhere to go down that road, but it is so disappointing and obnoxious that, but it's an example of the patriarchal society that we live in, but we are changing that. We're working to change that. What's the biggest thing that makes you excited about this phase of life that you're in if there is one at this point. There might not be, but I'm just curious.
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:32:45]:
Oh, there is. I don't know if I I call it the shift. I went from, like, you know, the maiden mother, corona. I was the mother. I was giving giving. I wanted to see people thrive. Now that I'm the corona, I mean that I don't give a fuck face. I'm gonna do what I'm doing, and I'm gonna enjoy it. And I don't like, it's like a shift. I don't feel bad about a lot of the things that I would normally question I wanna wear this shirt out without a bra, you're gonna see a little nips today, and that's all there is to it. I wanna go and do this. It's gonna happen. There's almost like this. I'm more centered. I am feeling grounded, and I'm loving myself. Whereas if someone got mad at me in the past, I would spend days agonizing. Are they mad at me? What did I do? No. I'm like, they are big boys and big girls. If there is something wrong, they can come and talk to me. Otherwise, it doesn't get any energy or space in my brain. And I don't know. I I'm calling it the shift, like, with menopause. That's what's brought this on, but it's truly cool. Yeah. I love
Mahara Wayman [00:33:48]:
Oh, cool. It's funny you bring up that bit about going braless because I've I'm kind of that way too, and it's summer. time now and forgot. And I often go for a walk with a dog, and I I'm not wearing a bra. And I confess. I still go, oh, I'm not sure. And then I'm like, wait a second, right? Probably a minute. Guys have nipples too. Yep. My boobs aren't that big. They're not flapping all over the place. I'm just, you know, quietly walking down the street while sometimes not so much with the golden retrievers. But still, I still have that that minute of, oh, maybe I should wear a little, you know, maybe I should put a little jacket on, but it's not as bad as it used to be when I was younger. So I agree there is a sense of freedom. I mean, I'm totally struggling with hormones and the hot flashes and, you know, my weight's all over the place, all of that stuff. But The flip side of that is, to your point, I do feel that I really am comfortable in my skin, and it's one of the reasons why I feel bad ass. I am not my body. I'm not my weight. I'm not my dress size. I'm not my slightly off center boobs. I'm not in I'm, you know, I'm so much more than that, and that has taken, you know, 58 years for 57 years for me to get to that place. And I do think that the hormonal change has definitely added to that and it's been a good part of that journey. So oh my goodness. We've gone all over the place today, and I love it. We started with growing up black and Milton. Mhmm. Sounds like a Broadway show. Should be growing at black in Canada to the epiphany of figuring out who you are in your darkest moment and what you need to be you. And then fast forward a few years to create in this beautiful business that really feeds your soul and is an is allowing you to share your greatness and your goodness with the world. I, for 1, am so pleased that we've connected and that you are now in my circle because you are the boss at what you do. Thank you. are the paws. And we've also touched on this beautiful thing called menopause that if you're not there yet, just wait because you're not gonna escape it. No. It comes. What's your what's your number one advice? I mean, you've given us lots of tips on why you're badass, but for our listeners out there today that perhaps have never used the word badass or have only ever thought of it as being a bad thing. What's something that you do regularly that's really simple? What's a tip that you can share with our audience to help them feel a little bit, even just a little bit of what you feel?
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:36:37]:
a little bit of what I feel. It goes back to the feeling the fear and doing it anyway. that's what I wanna say. Think about it this way. And someone explained to me when I was whining in the past, but nobody likes me. Whether I wanna do this, but people are gonna judge me. She said, Kim, nobody cares about you. And at first, I was like, oh my god. That hurt. That was so vicious. And she's like, no. Nobody cares about you, so do it anyways. Everybody is so wrapped up in their own world with their business or families or kids or this or the literally, if you're in their mind on their mind, you can be on their mind for 5 minutes, and then they're on to the next thing. So you may as well do what ever it is that you wanna do because nobody's going to care except for you. And so when I thought about that, I was like, you know what? You're right. And I started experimenting. I'm gonna go out without a bra on and just a tough. Yeah. I got a few looks, but I'm sure I was on their mind for 2 seconds, and there's not a lot there to see anyways. So it was done with. Then I was like, you know what? I'm gonna launch this program. I launched it. People attended. Nobody said anything negative. I was just kinda like, okay. This is awesome. So now whenever I'm nervous or afraid to do something, nobody fucking cares. Nobody cares. There's billions of people in the world and, like, maybe 20 are gonna see it actually what you're doing, so just do it anyways. Be you. So yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:00]:
You know, it's interesting because that idea plays into what I do for living my other job, which is a coach, because I found in my own growth and I learned this from my dad and my my clients experience a lot is this understanding that This isn't about you. When we talk about issues that we have or experiences, when you can look at it from another lens you realize that, wow, this isn't about me. It's only about you if you make it about you. Exactly. Even when you're having an argument with someone. guess what? Chances are it's not about you. Could be a misunderstanding. We're not gonna go down that path, but I love that advice for people was, folks remember it ain't about you.
Kimberley Rivando-Robb [00:38:48]:
It ain't?
Mahara Wayman [00:38:49]:
It really isn't about you. Be you, do you, and love you because you are amazing. Okay. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna be motivating anymore. I just wanna say, Kimberly, thank you so much. I've really loved chatting with you. You are an amazing coach. You're an amazing writer, and you're a beautiful friend. Folks, I hope you enjoyed today's episode. Check the show notes to to get in contact with Kimberly, check out her Instagram page because what she has to say is pure gold. I'll see you next week.
