Mahara Wayman [00:00:06]:
Welcome to The Art of Badassery, where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms, break free from the status quo, and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman, and each week I dive into the stories, insights, and strategies of those who have mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is looking. Welcome to another episode of The Art of Badassery. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman, and today I have the distinct pleasure of chatting with Meredith Ruff. A powerhouse of a woman who wears many hats. From being a dedicated mother of five to a loving grandma and a devoted wife, she's truly an inspiration. With the heart as big as her dreams, meredith's journey has taken her from the bustling streets of Northern California to the serene landscapes of Iowa, where she's found her calling as a sleep coach. Now her story is one of unwavering determination and unbreakable bonds. Growing up amidst constant change, she navigated a whirlwind of 13 different schools during her adolescence while grappling with undiagnosed ADHD. Yet amidst the chaos yet within all of that chaos, she always held on to her dreams of marriage, motherhood, and teaching. Today, Meredith resides in the heart of Iowa alongside her husband. After years of moving from place to place, here she's found her true calling as a sleep coach, helping mothers rejuvenate connect and find peace by restoring their sleep and understanding their children better. Her baby centered sleep system, developed over the last six years, caters to children of all temperaments, offering nurturing and tear free sleep methods. But that's not all. Her impact extends beyond her coaching. She hosts the Sweet Slumber podcast, where she shares invaluable insights on sleep and parenting. And she's also committed to mentoring and guiding other sleep coaches and consultants in their journey to success. Join us today as we explore her beautiful journey, her dedication to improving sleep and parenting, and her mission to empower other sleep coaches and consultants. Meredith, welcome to the show. I'm really looking forward to this conversation.
Meredith Brough [00:02:41]:
Thank you. Me, too. Thanks for having me here.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:44]:
So I was chuckling as I read your bio, because I remember being a young mom, my husband would sleep through everything, and I would lay there just praying, oh, my God. Can you just go back to sleep? Oh, my God, please, I beg of you. I just need a few more minutes of sleep, and then I would roll out of bed and pad my way down to the nursery so I can truly appreciate what a gift it is that you're bringing to moms and to their children. But let's go back to the beginning. What got you into this?
Meredith Brough [00:03:19]:
That's a good question. Well, my first son was what I would call a typical child.
Mahara Wayman [00:03:26]:
Now.
Meredith Brough [00:03:26]:
At the time, I just felt like it was terrible and abnormal, but he was very typical in needing me and me alone, often at night. And after a year of that, I got pregnant again, and I was actually really scared. Someone asked me about my pregnancy, and I broke into tears, and I was like, I can't be up with two kids all night. This is going to be terrible. And she told me to read a book. I read one book, put it into practice, and had great success. And honestly, having a two month old baby who sleeps for 12 hours definitely made me want to have more kids. I'm a kid person, so that helps. But because life was so good and manageable and I was well rested, which meant good moods and just I don't feel like I can handle this. I kept having babies, so that's why I had five. That's where it started. And then I was running a daycare. Yeah, I'm crazy. I had five kids and I ran a daycare. I tried to make that manageable. It would be like after school care or it would be older kids when mine were young, whatever, but I just practiced on all the kids that I was taken care of, and it was mostly just out of the goodness of my heart. I wanted these moms to have the gifts that I had, and they were working so even more valuable for them to be able to sleep, so I would help all their little ones sleep well. And I didn't teach the moms anything. I worked with these kids during the day, and within four days, they were sleeping 8 hours at night from two months old to over one. Yeah. And twins. I did that multiple times, so I don't think I really felt like I had a gift. I kind of chuckled about it, and it's like bragging rights. And my neighbors would call my house the sleepy house because everyone's kids slept great at my house. But there was an experience that I had that really opened my eyes to my gift and the impact that I could make after working for 15 years in my daycare, I went and worked in the schools for a few years because my kids honestly were arguing too much. I didn't want babies around that.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:41]:
I love your honesty and you are absolutely adorable.
Meredith Brough [00:05:44]:
Thank you. They were fighting after school, and it broke my heart for these little babies and kids. I just didn't want them to be around that. And so I stopped my daycare and worked in the schools, and I actually really enjoyed that. I was just assisting teachers. So this is when I was really thinking, oh, am I going to be a teacher? Some people from church asked me to come help this woman who was moving. And I went over and took care of twin babies two months old. I brought a daughter with me. And I could gather pretty quickly that these babies weren't thriving. They were pretty lethargic. And I was there almost the whole day, and they would just take these tiny little cat naps, just drink one or 2oz out of their bottles, just kind of lay around and do nothing. Two months old. That's not too abnormal. But you can tell the difference between a healthy baby and a non healthy baby. So I was worried about them. And later that night when things slowed down, I was able to really chat with the mom. I found out that she was very sick. She had postpartum depression anxiety, and she had not raised children before and just didn't know what to do with these twins and felt like giving up. And she was either going to give them away or she wanted to die. So it was pretty heartbreaking conversation. And what do you do in a situation like that? You're like, I can't really turn my back on you. So I took care of her for a day or two while she rested. And we took her babies home with us for four days and nights. And I brought them back sleeping for 8 hours on a schedule, eating great. You could see in their faces and their bodies that they were gaining weight and more energetic and just thriving. And that was really exciting to her to see that her babies were on the right track. And I did teach her some things so that she could continue on. And it really changed her life. It saved her family. It was just a really big deal.
Mahara Wayman [00:07:45]:
First of all, it's a beautiful story and thank you for sharing. And all I could think know one of the questions. Those of you that are listening, I send a little form out for my guests to answer some questions so I can get to know them if I don't know them ahead of time. And one of the things that I say that I may ask is, what's your superpower? And when I asked Meredith that, she said, I think I'm courageous. I don't back down. And I just want to say, yes, that sounds wonderful. But I would like to bring into the conversation that perhaps you also have a superpower of recognizing when someone needs your help. Because I think the story that you've just shared with us highlights that some people could have easily said, here you go, give your kids back and good luck. And, yeah, that's tough. You should really look into that. Or there's places that you can call that may be able to help you or have you read this brochure? So I just want to say thank you for stepping up and listening to your gift, because I truly believe those of us that have we all have superpowers, and most often we don't even realize it because we take it for granted. We're like, well, that's just how I am. That just comes naturally to me. So it's not a gift. And I would argue that that's actually the complete opposite. We have been given gifts from God, and yours is that. And I just want to say thank you for recognizing it and stepping up and stepping into it, because that takes courage. It takes courage to do what you do. I mean, to say to have that conversation in the moment and maybe even to say to your husband, I'm bringing home some twins. Maybe I didn't birth them, but I'm bringing them home.
Meredith Brough [00:09:31]:
That's what I was thinking. It was very courageous, but it was also like sidestepping my husband.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:39]:
Isn't it wonderful to also recognize that whatever it was you said to her, you gave her the courage to let them go.
Meredith Brough [00:09:47]:
That's true. I think about that all the time. I tell that story like, yeah, it sounds crazy. We took these babies home. Yeah, she trusted me, but she was just so beaten down too.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:58]:
What is it about our society that we make assumptions that women, a, know exactly how to be a mom, and B, whatever happens, hormonally, they'll figure it out. And this is not just for the new mom. But I think throughout a woman's cycle, a woman's life, there's this misunderstanding that, oh, you're a woman. You figured out you'll know it, and it's normal, therefore it's normal. So why do we even have to talk about it?
Meredith Brough [00:10:29]:
Oh, my gosh. The craziest thing about that is I came from a family of six kids. I was a middle child, so I watched kids growing up, and I was always a babysitter. I took care of kids for 30 years before this job, and as an experienced nanny, I became a mom and was completely shocked. I had slept overnight helping one of my nanny families with their twins. So I felt so prepared. I can have a baby. This should be a breeze. But no, it was shocking. And I don't feel like there's any way to be fully prepared for motherhood. And then there's that side of us being really hard on ourselves, why don't I know how to do this? Why am I not a better mom? And then not giving ourselves any credit for all the wonderful things we're doing, for being so selfless and caring so much. I don't know where that comes from, but it's a plague. It's a problem.
Mahara Wayman [00:11:27]:
It's a problem. And I actually wrote a story I wrote in my first book, a story about just I think the story is called Courage and Motherhood. And as I was writing it, I realized it was the first time I put those two words together in one sentence or in one idea. Because up until that point, I didn't view motherhood as being courageous. I was very down on myself, like, oh, my God, I should have done that better, and I could have done that. And why didn't I and it was a big realization, a big AHA, that I had been doing myself such a disservice for years and years and years by thinking I wasn't courageous in facing the day. Right.
Meredith Brough [00:12:10]:
You made me think of a couple of things, like, I try really hard to help my clients understand their intuition and their instincts and trust themselves. I feel like they already have that gift, and I'm just trying to fine tune it, help them recognize it. I feel like we all have it. And it's a really big part of being a mom because because we have to trust that we know what's best for our child once we get to know them. And we kind of figure out the damp, but also we're the ones who are going to advocate for them the most. We're the only ones on the planet who are going to fight for them. And so when it comes to a health problem and talking to the doctor and understanding that this doctor doesn't understand me or doesn't feel as concerned as I do, but I'm going to trust myself and I'm going to find a new doctor. I don't even know how many doctors we've had with my five kids, I couldn't count because I always did that and I didn't give myself credit for that. But what a beautiful thing to trust, that type of instinct and intuition that's not talked about, it's not understood, it's a little bit woo woo.
Mahara Wayman [00:13:14]:
You bring up a really good point and I see it all the time in my practice or in my business. I'm a coach as well, and one of the biggest challenges that my clients have and I also have had this, is believing in me. I can just imagine. And I think back to when my kids are adults now, but when I think back to when they were little, I suffered so much with the what ifs. What if I'm not good enough? What if I'm not deserving? These children are so beautiful. What if I actually don't deserve them? I did this back then and wow, that's coming back to me now. I just would beat myself up. And I'm not talking within the post, within just having the babies even as maybe two weeks ago, right? Stories still playing our minds. But I can imagine that especially in your line of work, there's this okay, I get that you're afraid and you're tired and you're this, but can we also just talk about how beautiful you are and how worthy you are without having to do anything? You don't have to prove yourself. You're a child of God and you're here and you've been given this amazing gift because not everybody has the gift of children. And let's talk about that. So it's not just for those of you that are listening. Nothing is ever as simple as and now you rock the baby and now you put the baby down and now there's so much more to what you do as a sleep coach. I'm wondering if you can talk a little bit about this beautiful system that you've developed.
Meredith Brough [00:14:50]:
Yeah, well, if you don't mind, I want to expand a little bit on what you just said too.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:53]:
Okay.
Meredith Brough [00:14:55]:
When I meet people, I have a free consult and people will set that up just to chat and find out if we're a good fit, stuff like that. But I have a goal of always lifting or building the person I'm talking to, whether we work together or not. I'd like to give them insight about their child. Like you said in the bio, I like to help them understand their little ones better. But every mom comes to me feeling beat up in some way. They've beat themselves up, or society has, and they all feel like failures for having babies who don't sleep well. And I don't understand where that comes from, why there's this assumption that we're supposed to be good at that something that doesn't come naturally. But yeah, I do a lot of talking to them about how they have been listening to their instinct and how they've been so in tune with their baby and they've done so much for them. And everyone leaves those calls just like, oh my gosh, thank you so much. I feel so much better. It's the best feeling ever. I just love that it's such an opportunity. It's actually why I call myself a sleep coach instead of consultant, because it's so personal.
Mahara Wayman [00:16:04]:
Beautiful story. And there is nothing like being a coach. I'm just saying there's nothing like when you can affect someone to the point where their energy shifts and their eyes light up and they sit a little taller and they say, wow, you've really moved me. Honestly. It's the best. It's the best. So I love that you offer those consultations, those complimentary sessions for your clients. That's beautiful.
Meredith Brough [00:16:34]:
What was it I asked you about to say, I got it from here? You asked me about my system. I like talking about it so much because I'm self taught and when I started out my business, that made me feel inferior. There was some major imposter syndrome where I was like, yeah, I'm doing this job. And I did not go to a sleep consultant training. But when I started my business after that inspiring story, I felt called by God to do this. And I actually had this vision. I felt like I was going to have a hand in blessing, changing, impacting the world. I felt this inside that this was going to happen. And I was like, I don't know how I'm going to get there, but I'm doing this thing. And so I was really motivated and excited, but then I just started getting some pushback. Like I'd be commenting in a Facebook group and someone would say, well, where'd you receive your training? And I'm thinking, what training? So, yeah, I now believe that's an advantage because I was taking what I already knew I was already good at and just blossoming it, just growing it through experience. I worked in home with families probably 50 hours, weeks when I started, for the first eight months, definitely was my training ground, big time, because that was a lot of time to spend hands on helping moms with their babies and all these sleep challenges. And then an influencer talked about me, and she had 100,000 followers. And all of a sudden I had people coming to me from all over the world, which was so fulfilling because I love that we can connect with people all over the world. It's so exciting. And that really boosted my business. But that's when all the tough, challenging cases came my way where all of a sudden I realized I wasn't so good.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:23]:
Wait a second. Give us an example of one tough, challenging case.
Meredith Brough [00:18:30]:
That kind of the one I think of the most is baby that. So I had already created my own methods, and that's one of the pieces of my system. They're tear free methods. I avoid tears. I keep the babies calm and happy, which is very unique. And this little guy, we were doing all the things right, but he would just stay awake in his bed no matter what we did, no matter mom and dad would pick him up, try to settle him, calm him. He would just play or he'd just lay there and be wide awake. And this is when I started to realize the kids were very different and I couldn't use the same approach. I was already discovering that. But this was just like magnifying the whole perspective that I had to get really creative. How are we going to get this baby to sleep? And that is when I started learning about temperament. And that there's very active kids who are so energetic that it's just really impossible for them to shut down. But they also have fear of missing out. They actually want to stay awake. They are not interested in going to sleep. And that's why so many moms are feeding their babies to sleep or rocking. Some of them are bouncing on a yoga ball while breastfeeding. It is serious coercion to get them to sleep. So that's what this little guy was. He was very active and it was very challenging. And we as parents and me together as a team, we worked really hard to find solutions. And I actually don't remember if we got him it's been too long, for like five years now. I don't remember if we got him to sleep, but to fall asleep on his own at that time, it might have been later. But inspired me to create new methods. So one of my specialties now is working with highly active or spirited babies, highly sensitive babies who are similar in the need for contact, being held to be able to sleep. It's just a really big challenge to get them to fall asleep in a crib. And that is an empowering way to get babies to connect sleep cycles. So it's like this missing puzzle I can't talk missing puzzle piece that a lot of sleep consultants run into. They don't know how to work with those babies. So all these methods and all these solutions that I've created evolved into a system. So I follow a system. There's holistic principles. Then we deep dive into temperament, help them really understand their babies or toddlers. And then we use these methods that teach them to fall asleep on their own. I also focus on security. That is what parents do naturally, being responsive. So babies crying, we go to them. Well, we really focus on that for one or two weeks. Just I have activities that parents do that teach trust and deep insecurity. And then it prepares them to be able sleep on their own in a room or in a bed with their parents in the same room because they just feel at ease, they feel comfortable, they love their room, they trust their parents, and it deepens sleep. So that's very innovative too. Most people haven't even thought about that piece. That's kind of a big overview of my system. I give them more tools than that because there's so many questions and so many other pieces that parents need help with. You know what I mean?
Mahara Wayman [00:21:49]:
Well, one of the things that popped into my mind and I'm thinking back to when my kids were little was I remember being I don't know whether I'm hearing my grandmother or my mom or a friend's mom, but this idea of just let them cry it out. Let them cry it out and it hurt. And then I remember there were times when I did let my kids cry it out and I felt so guilty that I was crying more than them wondering if you can touch on this idea of the guilt that moms and dads can feel when they don't know better. They don't know what to do and we just drown ourselves in this guilt.
Meredith Brough [00:22:28]:
Oh my gosh. I think guilt is just a really big piece of parenting, unfortunately, because I remember crying myself to sleep with the regret and I still get that way. Like this weekend we worked on our house and we didn't do anything as a family. And today I'm sad because I'm like, I take life to my children. We didn't do the family bonding thing. Oh, we have a boat and we go out all the time. But we had a car accident a couple of weeks ago and so our truck is in the shop and everyone's recovering. But yeah, we're not getting the summer family time. So that's where that guilt came from. Sorry about that tangent. But anyways, I've had to do some work on that since you've brought up christian beliefs or belief in God. I'll freely talk about this that I learned along the way that some guilt just is paralyzing. It's usually those things we can't control, those things that just make us feel like a failure or thoughts that we're being hard on ourselves. And so I try to recognize what the feeling is. Is this a productive type of guilt or I'm going to change? Like, Godly sorrow is going to help me change? It's going to help me do better, or is this just making me feel like garbage? If it's the kind that makes me feel like garbage, I pray it away. I use affirmations. I try to think of other things and also take some time to celebrate things that I've done well or enjoyed, because it's a really tough thing to deal with.
Mahara Wayman [00:24:01]:
It really is. And one of the things that I'm learning, and some weeks learning more than others, is that there is a reason why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling. The question becomes, do I have the courage to sit quietly with that feeling? And also naming it this is a big thing that I do with my clients, is I really allow them I give them the tools to name what they're feeling because often I've got the pit in my gut. But is it fear, anxiousness, regret, embarrassment, shame? Guilt? Like, what exactly am I feeling? Because so easy for us to just say so stressed today. Exactly why and what exactly are you feeling and what I'm learning? And I think you mentioned this also, is it's okay to sit with that feeling and then decide, hey, is this going to move me forward or is it holding me back? Because if it's holding me back, thanks, but no thanks. I feel it. Don't need it. Thanks for bringing it up. I'll look at it. Yeah, don't need it. If it's an impetus to make a change and if it's allowing us to step into courage and into badassery, then rate it. You know what? That wasn't a mistake. That was an opportunity. Wow. Now I know my infant does not respond to that. I'm not going to anymore. And it's okay. I cried. We're good?
Meredith Brough [00:25:25]:
Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's great. Well, I'm glad you just finished on that note, because cry it out and ferber, which is time checks, are two practices that are extremely common in the whole world. They are, I guess, the common belief of how to help children sleep better. And so, yeah, you're right. There's tons of people out there who are like, this is what you do. And there's tons of people out there pressuring other people to do it, including doctors. And so no one should feel guilty about it unless they are ignoring those feelings. And then again, like you said, then correct your ways, be more responsive, and know that's not a good fit for your child and be hungry and look for those right solutions that fit, right? But one of the reasons it's really popular, just a side note, is that there are really easygoing babies out there that are so relaxed and chill that they'll cry for a minute or two and then sleep great for the rest of their lives. It's true. So that's why it's still being practiced, because there's all these people out there, they're like, oh, this is gold, this is amazing. And then they tell everybody else, this is going to work. But it's not true because like I said, there's temperaments. There's differences between children. The way they respond to things and what they're feeling can be really big. And there's this term they say self soothing all the time. People say it to me all the time and I just roll my eyes and go, oh. Because that term was used in the beginning to describe that. We want kids to settle in between sleep cycles. We want them to just do that on their own, just keep putting themselves back to sleep. Well, unfortunately, that term in most people's minds means that babies can soothe themselves and feel better. They can calm down when they're crying. They can turn inward and use tools to feel better, which is totally not true. And it's crazy because if you look online at this, look up, like self regulation or just emotional regulation, then you'll see all these articles from teachers, like preschool teachers, Daycare, Montessori schools that talk about how little ones have very little ability to turn inward and calm down. As infants, all they can do really is maybe suck a thumb, look away, maybe I'm overstimulated, I'm looking away, bounce their feet around to kind of do some rhythmic thing, to fall asleep. That's about it. Otherwise, they depend fully on their parents to calm them, to make them feel better. And that's our relationship. So that's one of the things I really like people to understand about their little ones, is it's not that you're spoiling them. It's not that you're creating these habits or creating a monster. It's actually if you listen to your heart and you do all those things that are natural, then you're going to support your baby's optimal development in every way. It is the way to have healthy relationships and more resiliency and stress what's the word? Stress tolerance. All the things that we're lacking in our society today for a lot of people. So that style of parenting is actually super healthy. And what we want to embrace now if we want a brighter future.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:41]:
So interesting, and a couple of things came to mind is first of all, why would we assume that infants are like humans? Like, adults aren't alike, older children are alike, but we lump infancy into, oh, this is what they need. They need the thumb or they need the bottle. Huge misunderstanding. There huge gap. And also, to your point, oh my God, adults can't self. Soothe very well for the most part, why you and I have such great businesses. But to be honest, why would we ever think that the infant would be able to do that? They only know a few things. And while there may be I don't think I want to go down this avenue, but I'll just say quickly, there may be this understanding or belief that because the child is so close, because they are so new to this experience. And they are spiritual beings having a human existence. Maybe they remember their connection to God or their connection to the spirit world. But no, I just don't think that's.
Meredith Brough [00:29:46]:
The other thing I thought was I think that parent or adults are simplifying what's going on in a baby's brain and that it doesn't impact them that much, partly because they can't tell us and nobody's studying that. So that's one of my dreams, too, is to see these studies done on these babies. Not that we're going to inflict it on them, but let's look at the other side. And this is what I've focused on for years in my coaching, is just, you know what? We can't prove everything because nobody studied that and nobody's going to inflict a baby on purpose. That way, usually when studies are done, that's not what they're looking for. They're looking for the baby sleep better. Yeah, I know. So what we're going to focus on is what scientists have found that does support the baby's well being and what does lead to the healthy coping skills later. And so I just fill their minds with that information. Like, let's focus on the right things and why we want to go this other route, why we want to do gentle parenting and responsive parenting, because we all hope for the best for our children. That's what we want.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:50]:
Right, well, and the thing what I'm also hearing is, and what I can picture in how you describe your work is not only does this help the child, but you're really helping the parents. Because as a parent, when I am able to be very focused in the moment and present with my children, whether they're having a fit, whether they're having a tough time, good time, it doesn't matter. Just being very present and focused with them is a gift and it's not always easy to do because we live in a busy world. And yes, my kids are adults now, 20 and 25. But my greatest day, my greatest moment is when I hear them laugh right smack in that moment. I'm not remembering how difficult they were to raise. I'm not fretting about their schooling or the future. I'm right present. And it sounds like what you're doing with your clients is so, so valuable because you are teaching them to be trust their intuition, be very focused on what your child is needing right now. Right now, in the moment your child needs the breast, your heartbeat, your voice, the rocking, whatever, your presence. And it's interesting because when all is said and done, I really believe that as human beings, what we need is to feel seen and heard and understood and safe. That's it. Little bit of ice cream on the side and I'm gold. Yeah, ice cream. But to your point, in a way, it's almost as if you simplified it. Guys, we don't need to make this so difficult or confusing. It can be actually very simple if you recognize a few things. Number one, every child is different. So let's figure out who your child is. Let's be observant and let's trust our intuition. You gave birth to this child or you've brought this child into your home by choice. Trust your intuition and let's see if we can find a way to get you both sleeping. Yeah, I love that.
Meredith Brough [00:32:59]:
And I love what you said about those inherent needs that we all have, because it's so interesting that we have those needs as adults. We have those needs as children. We have the same needs as babies. It doesn't change. And that's what people need to see. They need to see that we start that way and it just continues on forever. It's not that we come out as babies and we're blobs and we have no feelings or needs. That's absolutely not true. Does that make sense? I'm not trying to oh, absolutely.
Mahara Wayman [00:33:29]:
No.
Meredith Brough [00:33:30]:
Talk about too much. But to me, it's like there's a disconnect there.
Mahara Wayman [00:33:33]:
Yeah. And it's because I think we just have never looked at it that way. And I think it's very courageous of you to invite people to look at it differently. Right, yeah.
Meredith Brough [00:33:45]:
Well, I mentioned to you in my bio that I have a podcast series, so I spent probably just five episodes talking to experts because I've done the research and I've seen all this evidence showing how to support babies and what they need. But I really wanted to explore that with all these different people who they're sleep scientists, they're child development experts, they're parenting experts. And it's really cool to pick their brains and hear them talk about concerns that I already had or give me new ones. And this sounds weird, but I wanted to educate parents. Every episode I say, this is not to make you feel bad and it's not to make you feel scared. Or I like to try to make people fight against each other. I just want parents to understand. I want them to know what a cool thing to know exactly what to do to help your child thrive in every way that you have influence over. So then go out and make your decision about how you're going to improve sleep, but don't do it blindly.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:55]:
The vision I get, I'm a very visual person. Whenever people are talking, I'm seeing pictures. But what really strikes me and what I want to really pull out for the audience listening is when we support our children to grow up in a world where our children feel and know that they are seen, heard, respected, loved, and their needs are met, then that's how we change the world. Yeah, right. Because our world is what our children make of it. And it's so important, the work that you're doing, because you're setting the stage for, I think, an easier adolescence, for example, and an easier when you're a young adult and an easier oh, my gosh. I can't wait till I'm a mom because my mom raised me so well. And I had such and I've said I wrote my book. The first book that I wrote, I wrote a bit about my mom. And I say that my mom was the best mom ever. And I have often said to my children, just so you know, I'm only like good mom because my mom was a good mom. And I learned, and I asked, and I cried and all of this stuff, but goodness is generational, and it's so important that we can give our children the best that we can give them. So I just wanted to say thank you and hats off to you for doing all of this work. I do want to touch on something, though. One of the other things that I say in this form, Peeps, is who were you before you were badass? Because, of course, my show is called The Art of Badassery. And my goal is that everybody can look at their lives and recognize how amazing they are, regardless of where they're at. And Meredith brought up a really funny thing. She said, well, you know, it's interesting because there was a time when I was young, I thought I was badass, and then not so much. And now I feel, like, badass again. So, Meredith, can you talk to us a little bit about that quiet part in between? Because I thought that was really I.
Meredith Brough [00:37:00]:
Actually had other thoughts, too, about what you just said, if you don't mind, because I know there's people out there who don't have the same story as you, and I'm one of them. My parents did the best job that they could, but they came from a very dysfunctional line of parents themselves. Very. And so I think it's amazing that we can change that so that it can become generational. Right. Because I know I screwed up raising my kids, and I did not know a lot of these things when they were little, but I can definitely make up for that in teaching them right and in doing what I'm doing. And again, I don't have to live with that regret anymore. I can let go of it. I can heal from it. I guess it's just the fact that I didn't have great parentage. So that's a piece of my background. But also, I don't know if you want me to talk about me as a teenager or just that lull in between.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:54]:
You can talk about anything. I think it's important that people recognize that even those of us that consider ourselves to be badass today may not have always been that way, that life is a journey and it's okay to have screwed up if you've learned from it. So I'm just curious, like, well, you can tell I don't care what section of life you talk about.
Meredith Brough [00:38:16]:
Yeah, no, that's actually really good. That's a good way to put it to help me even with my perspective, because I feel like we all show potential as kids. We don't always get to tap into that.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:27]:
Right.
Meredith Brough [00:38:27]:
It's something that comes later. So for me, I feel really powerful that I was able to change school 13 times and make friends every single time, and then my husband and I moving nine times, I was able to make it into an adventure and make friends every time. And I think that's really cool. I feel really strong that I was able to do that. But being a mom, I think I had the normal mom struggles we've already talked about, and a lot of my dreams were just like, buried, and I wasn't really thinking about what I wanted to do with myself. But when I had the opportunity to start my business, I definitely just felt an awakening of I'm strong, I'm powerful, I can do these things, I have vision, I can accomplish whatever I want to. And that's only grown. And I feel like I've grown more and more in my abilities, mastering those syndromes and the work that we have to do on ourselves, which I think is vital and just leads us to being aligned in the rest of our lives and living a fulfilling life. I'm really glad that I took the plunge in starting my business and this journey began where I could grow. And I can't even tell you I've had to go through some tough stuff in the last six years, but I am much happier, and I'm much happier with who I am. I'm really proud of myself, and that's a pretty good feeling.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:53]:
You should be proud of yourself. What I heard was, and I think a lot of our listeners are going to relate to this, is when we're young and we're exploring, developing our personalities, trying things, saying yes, saying no, doing this, doing that. We feel very much like, badass because we're being very authentic. We cry when we're mad, all of that stuff.
Meredith Brough [00:40:18]:
Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:19]:
Then we sort of hit a phase where we do what we're told, let's say, and we get married, whatever that life looks like, and we get caught up in all of the rules of society and of ourselves and of family and just do impression. We're just doing we're doing what needs to be done. And often I think it's almost like there isn't time to acknowledge how amazing we are because we're just so busy doing and then along the way, sometimes if we're lucky, we get a touch and we stop and we go, I want to do that. I want to change the world. And it's okay to have that dream. And for many of us, it's a little bit later in life because we spent the middle of our life taking care of our children and raising them and all of that stuff. I understand now when you said I felt like a badass when I was young. I'm a badass now, but there's a time in the middle while I just kind of was getting just sort of building my life. But what courage it takes, I think, to listen to that tap on our shoulder, to say no to the regular and yes to something extraordinary. Can you tell us a little bit about your entrepreneurial journey? Because I'm kind of blown away by it, actually, as a new entrepreneur. So tell me about it. Tell us about it.
Meredith Brough [00:41:50]:
Now that we've talked a couple of times, I'm like, I don't remember what I said, but I do remember telling you earlier that I felt really blessed that I had that experience with the influencer, and I had a lot of good experiences there for a few years. But I also got to talk to Shark Tank, and that was really fun because they asked me to send in a video and think about being on their show. And I met with Score, which is a company nonprofit that helps people build their businesses. And we explored my business ideas and how I thought about going international, and I wanted to have franchises all over the world. And we talked about all the ideas and came back to, well, you're just kind of a baby right now, and so let's just keep going the way you are, and don't worry about that stuff yet. And don't worry about Shark Tank right now, because if you had that type of coverage, you just wouldn't have anything you could do with it. You're one person. But it really boosted my confidence and my excitement over what I had accomplished because they were just floored by my success in what I had done. And not having gone to college, not having any training, business training, they were just amazed that I was successful because they were constantly talking about statistics of how businesses don't usually succeed, but they were so impressed with what I'd already done. So, yeah, there's been a lot along the way, but in the last few years, I followed my heart in creating the podcast, the sweet, slumber podcast in sorry. Pause. My husband's trying to call me. So sorry.
Mahara Wayman [00:43:24]:
Don't apologize. My husband's been texting me, when are you done? The podcast.
Meredith Brough [00:43:28]:
He didn't remember that I had this. Just going to tell him, go without me. Something to edit. Okay, so a few years ago, after starting the podcast, I just had a lot of conversations with people they wanted me to teach them what I do. And so I started just kind of mentoring some people. And then I decided that I wanted my own school. And so then I created something as a supplemental course for people who are already sleep coaches. And after that, again, more conversations about what we need to do. We need to have our own school, we need to do this. I was the only one who stuck with the dream. My students were all too busy. So actually, this is kind of funny. I got a hysterectomy last December, and while I was resting this is maybe why I was resting and slowing down. I just felt really inspired that now was the time, not later. Now is the time. Make it happen. And I actually had students enrolled to start like, the next week, my normal program, which is a supplement. And I just had a feeling that I needed to make a full course so the whole program for anyone off the streets to come in and learn what I did, who didn't have a background with sleep or with childcare or whatever. So I just took it one week at a time. I just created this online course where I took material I'd already made for parents and I put it together in a program, and I had to be very brave in presenting it and believing in myself. And within a couple of weeks, there's moms coming to me saying they wanted to learn from me. And so that was the universe, just like, this is what you need to do, and they're ready. It was very exciting. And so, yeah, I've taught about 15 people now, and I'm ready to kick off another class in the next couple of months and hoping to get more people from all over the world because I have a lot of students from other countries and this year teaching all of them. I fell in love with mentoring and guiding and really helping them become confident in their abilities, get excited about the job and love it and then build a successful business, because that's been a real big struggle for me, is the marketing side of things. I've paid coaches over $20,000 to help me with marketing, so I feel like now I can take all those investments and pour them into other people and help them with their journey so that they don't have to struggle like I did. So now I've got a mastermind kicking off next week for guiding, mentoring, sleep coaches and sleep consultants. And it's so much fun. What I love about doing what's authentic is when you're in those moments, like you with coaching and it's coming naturally and it's fun, and the other person's having a good time too, and then they thank you later and they're amazed at all the AHA moments that we had. It's just one of the best experiences.
Mahara Wayman [00:46:24]:
I love listening to you talk about it. Because it's so true and what I'm noticing, because I've put together a brand new program, because I don't want people to go through what I went through if I can save them two years of time. So I'm helping new coaches with their branding and with being able to tell their story, because I'm a really good listener, and you can tell me things, and I'm like, do you realize you said this word five times in the last ten minutes? And they're like, I didn't realize.
Meredith Brough [00:46:50]:
Now you're making me wonder what I said.
Mahara Wayman [00:46:53]:
No, in a good way. But there is so much joy, and that's why I love what I do, is when we are being ourselves, our authentic self, our gifts come to light, and when we are soaking up our superpower and living in our gift, it's easy. It's easy, and it doesn't feel like work. And to your point, people can say to us, oh, my God, you have no idea how you affected me. I'm like, I did? Well, what did I do? All I said was this I don't even know what I but that's because that's our calling. We've stepped into and up to what has been asked of us and what is our purpose in this life, and whether it lasts for a month, a year, five years, ten years, or the rest of our career, that's not the issue. The issue is that we are open to it. We're open to being authentic. We're open to say, I don't actually want to do what I went to school for. Thanks. I actually want to do this, or I actually just want to sit home and read books all day for now. Is that okay? That's what I want to do. So the whole theme of this podcast and the work that I do is encouraging people to slow down, take a breath, and ask yourself, who am I? Like, who am I really? I know who I have pretended to be, or I know who I choose to be in certain situations, but do I know the real me? So the art of badassery is what we're all about here. And for those of you listening, don't worry. All of her information is going to be in the show notes because I want you to connect with her, this girl. Well, as you can hear and or see, we're having a good time. She's the real deal. And I'm so proud of you for all of the work that you've done. I love Shark Tank, by the way, and if you're ever on it, let me know, and I'll make sure that the whole family's watching because it's one of our favorites. We wrap this up. Meredith, is there anything that you'd like to share with new moms, moms and dads that are struggling to have a good night's sleep for themselves or for their children?
Meredith Brough [00:49:05]:
Well, one of my clients tells me all the time that when she's having a tough night. She actually hears my voice in her head telling her that her kids need her right now and that it's going to get better soon and that she can just hang on for another hour, another night, and just keep showing up, that she's going to reap the rewards. She's going to see all of the hard work she's poured into her kids and how it's paid off. And that's been a really fun thing to see as I work with someone for a long period or I stay connected to them for a year or two years or three, hearing them talk about how, yeah, you were right. That stuff I did, my kid is thriving. They watch their child go from being very clingy to very independent and maybe fearful or separation anxiety to just being like, hello, world. And so I believe in that firmly that everything that you're doing will pay off and you're going to reap those rewards. So you just have to take it just those little moments or hours at a time to get through them. And remember, your child has nothing else. They just don't have any other skills to take care of themselves. They need you.
Mahara Wayman [00:50:14]:
Got it. Beautiful. As a gentle reminder, parent, you got this, right?
Meredith Brough [00:50:20]:
I didn't stop your sleep in that sentence, but here's the thing.
Mahara Wayman [00:50:24]:
You reminded us that, first of all, it's okay to feel what you're feeling, but just take a breath and do the best that you can. Trust your instinct. If they need to be held, hold them. If they need a snuggle snuggle, right?
Meredith Brough [00:50:40]:
Yeah. You and I looking back, our adult children were actually babies at one time. Oh, man. I would go back.
Mahara Wayman [00:50:47]:
Best job ever is being a parent. But I also do think it's one of the hardest jobs ever. And we're so fortunate there are people like you that help us on that journey. Meredith, I've loved chatting with you today. Thank you so much for bringing your humor and your authenticity to my show. Those of you that are listening, I hope you enjoyed our conversation. Check out the show notes. Her podcast is not to be missed, especially if you have some young ones. My name is Mahara, and I'll see you next week on The Art of Badassery. Thank you for tuning in to The Art of Badassery. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and gained valuable insights to help unleash your inner badass. If you found this podcast helpful, please leave a rating or review on your favorite platform. Your feedback not only helps me improve the show, but it also helps others like yourself discover the podcast. Until next time, keep embracing your authenticity and living life on your terms. Here's to.
