Mahara Wayman [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of badassery where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms. Break free from the status quo and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman. And each week, I dive into the stories, insights, and strategies of those who've mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is lucky. Welcome back To the art of badassery. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman, and you're in for such a treat today.
Mahara Wayman [00:00:47]:
I have a super cool guest. Her name is Pei Yang. She grew up in Taiwan, and now she lives in Scotland. She has a beautiful story to tell, But I'm gonna invite her to share the juicy bits. Welcome to the show.
Pei-I Yang [00:01:03]:
Hi, everyone. Thank you, Mahara, for having me and Reintroducing myself. I would have found this really difficult, but I think I'm gonna give a try. So my name is Pei Yi. I am a parenting consultant and teen expert At Rainbow Parenting practice, which is, you know, the I found it the practice last year, but for my entire life, I was that little girl who was called to not be able to melt to anything, where I grew up to a very successful entrepreneur and then Also a a petitioner, you know, working with children and families. So I really love to share my story with everyone or the your audience. And I think one thing really important for me to for people to know about me is I work with families and teams, we're challenging behavior that nobody is able to help. So they come to me when they were in desperation, when they were About a breaking point or reaching crisis, and I have families who work with professionals for 10 years still have no results.
Pei-I Yang [00:02:07]:
But when they come to me, Everything is resolved.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:10]:
Oh, I love that. Let's go back though because, you know, I I'm curious about your childhood When you felt that or you were told that you were never going to amount to anything, what was the turning point when you said I'm gonna show you? Because I'm assuming you did because here you are. Mhmm.
Pei-I Yang [00:02:28]:
I think it was pretty late in my life, I have to say. And and growing up in an Asia Culture in my Ida, that was a different time. You know, like, the society really had a lot of expectation for children in terms, like, You need to achieve academically, and you need to have a good job. You need to be able to have a good job to provide for your family because there's no social welfare system back then, so then it's all about being a doctor, being a solicitor, being a psychiatrist, being really high achieving professionals. And I wasn't that week ago. I was so academically behind, and I was always the youngest in the class because my mom registered me A year earlier, so then I was always like, ugh. And then I was just I was I was really struggling throughout my academic year. Seriously, I think it's only when I get to my university life, it changed my whole percept perception of myself because I met some really amazing professor, and I went to a Christian school, a Christian university actually back in Taiwan.
Pei-I Yang [00:03:35]:
And that's the reason I went there because I had no school to go to, Mahara. I we have to set exams to go to university, and I was that strict. My grade was so bad. I had no class to go, no university to go to but that Christian school. So I went and Studied for 4 years, but that's where I started to found myself and going like, actually, there are people here actually believe in me. And I was really thriving in that environment, and It was an then we have to speak English. It's English. It's American school, so we have to learn to speak English and all these things.
Pei-I Yang [00:04:07]:
And then I was like, This is great. I can do this. And that's when I start to think I could actually I don't need to be that child who was caught to never amount anything because someone see something in me, and that's where I started to think, yeah, I could do something about my life. But then there's another journey Right after my university life, but that is a starting point that I somebody believed in me. Somebody gave me the the confidence and Trust and belief. Like, you know what? This we last, I can do something. So
Mahara Wayman [00:04:38]:
That is a beautiful story, and I'm glad that you brought it up because sometimes I think we forget how powerful it is when someone believes in us, Even if it's somebody you don't know necessarily at the beginning. Right? So the fact that you had this in university perhaps a little bit later, The the transformation, the a little bit later than others doesn't really matter because look what it's look what a difference it's made. I'm curious, though. What was the reaction of your family and your friends in your intimate circle as they watched this young woman blossom?
Pei-I Yang [00:05:14]:
I think my family is is really proud of me. You know? And, actually, I was the 1st person in my family, the entire my dad's side and my mom's side to actually go to university and have a master. I'm actually working on my 4th one. So thinking about, yeah, I'm about to be finished with my family therapy training this here. So from a child who was academically behind to having the 4th masters, that is amazing. They're really proud of me. They're thinking, oh my What happened to my week week? Girl, it's doing so well. And yeah.
Pei-I Yang [00:05:47]:
And I feel really proud that I will be able to make My family crowd and my friends as well, they're like, what happened to this woman, you know, that was always shy or this girl who was so shy, who Never had many friends and who was always in her. And then all this into this woman who can actually speak in public, deliver training to professionals, Helping families when nobody can and, you know, being so confident. So I think they definitely watch me grow in this journey, but My journey doesn't come alone just because of me. I have a lot of amazing support, people around me And carry me through this journey when I was at my lowest point. So it is really a collective effort that I am the the way I am today.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:33]:
That's such a great thing to point out. And, you know, there's a lot of cultures that recognize that it's the entire community that raises a child. Yep. And I don't know. You know, I'm not gonna it doesn't matter. I think many cultures feel that way. And it's one that we have often, I think, in Our western civilization in the last, you know, few 100 years have really moved away from. But what you've described is is a beautiful example of that.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:58]:
Regardless, like and time wise, doesn't matter. It's still there's still a group of people that are supporting you. You mentioned At my lowest point. Mm-mm. Was that in university? Just before university, would you mind taking us there Just so we can get an idea of how you were feeling before the transformation.
Pei-I Yang [00:07:17]:
So I I think and my lowest point was when I finished my university. Actually, it's during my university where there are so many things few things happen in my university life. My my family actually went through bankruptcy. My father's business were like, he he his money was stolen, and he was left with a lot of money by his business partner and all these things. So at the age of 18, while I was still trying to thrive and get to know who I was as a person, as a young person, I already had to start making money. And and back in that era, I have to explain, back in the era in Taiwan for a 18 year old to be making money is very unusual. No. You don't you don't do that because parents provide money for you.
Pei-I Yang [00:08:02]:
So I was starting to work in on all these things. And there were times I Actually, I have to think twice if I can buy a 10 pound a 10 pence chocolate bar. And that is really that was really, lowest point in my life and Well, I met so many amazing people. I was caught I was teaching English back then already. I was I have so many high achieving parents because I was educating their Kids English. They will buy me clothes. They you know, and 10 throughout this 10 years PD, I was teaching in Taiwan. By the time I actually moved to Scotland to study, Some people have given me the airplane tickets.
Pei-I Yang [00:08:37]:
Some people bought me a laptop. Do you know? Some people buy me clothes, give me money To send me off to Scotland to purchase to to pursue my education. So these these 10 years of struggle, those Families, the people I've served have helped me as well. So I will say that was probably could the lowest point of my life and my family's life is We're struggling so much financially, and there's a lot of judgment. So but we came through. We're good.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:05]:
Hello. You came through with flying colors. You know what I liked about what I really liked about your story? Because what I heard was despite the struggle, I believed so much that others believed in me. Yeah. And I think that's a really that's, that's badass, first of all. Mhmm. And it's not always easy to do because to your point, there is a lot of judgment around scarcity and money and Mhmm. And prestige and and education.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:33]:
I mean, we've got we're human beings. We've got judgments about everything. And I I really love the picture that you're painting that despite the pressure, the oddity, the fear, All of that stuff, you still managed to step up and step into what you were good at at the time and make a change in people's lives. And these people, They reciprocated by by being very generous and loving and, what a great story.
Pei-I Yang [00:10:01]:
Absolutely. I am still so grateful for these families I've worked with, and I'm still in contact with them in Taiwan. And their children all grew up. Right? Some of them universities. Some of them are Having family already, but that's only because I start teaching them at the age of 18 or 17. Right? But I was great. I was like, oh, you can be sound like 26, No. I was like, it's amazing.
Pei-I Yang [00:10:21]:
I love that. And then life in Scotland is the same. It was a struggle to start with new job. You know, when I was studying oh, that's another story. Can I share that story, Mara?
Mahara Wayman [00:10:31]:
Please. Yeah.
Pei-I Yang [00:10:32]:
Or, like, you know, all these families send me off to Scotland to study my art therapy course, right, Right. The master. I wanna be in art therapy since back then, and it's really my whole life saving. I saved less so much where I was still paying debts, paying off my debt. And then I moved to Scotland a year later only to found out I was failed. I was fail I was kicked out of the course. I was so devastated. Seriously, I was asking probably about Β£10,000, right, not on the course itself, not along with other additional cost.
Pei-I Yang [00:11:03]:
So I was failed on the course as Quita. I was devastated. I was so upset. Like, all the expectation, all the hopes, and all the, You know, the the support I had and all the expectation I have from a sale went down the drain just by 1 essay. So I was kick yeah. I feel when I say I was kicked out, and I was so upset. I was just like, my life is terrible. I couldn't cope anymore.
Pei-I Yang [00:11:26]:
Blah blah blah. But then, again, amazing support picked me up, and The the universe really had its way. I mean, I'm I'm Christian. I believe in god. He was saying to me, this is not your path. Your path is something else. So then I went on to another course, Which I that was my 1st master is doing the child development side of things, and I just thrive from there. So,
Mahara Wayman [00:11:46]:
Yeah. Oh, I just wanna make sure I've got this understanding because there's a beautiful lesson in there that I wanna make sure our listeners hear. Mhmm. You Went to Scotland to do art therapy.
Pei-I Yang [00:11:58]:
Yep.
Mahara Wayman [00:11:59]:
And you had saved 1,000 of pounds for the experience And also had support from families and friends, whatever. You're in Scotland. You're doing this art therapy course.
Pei-I Yang [00:12:08]:
Yep.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:09]:
And with with 1 essay that you failed. You were kicked out of the course, and you're back to ground 0.
Pei-I Yang [00:12:16]:
Yep. So I didn't get my qualification whatsoever.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:20]:
No. But what I'm hear what I'm hearing is that something in you said it's okay. You listened to the universe, as I happen to believe. Mhmm. And you, oh, you were open to another direction. Yep. How long did it take for you to do that? Because To me, what you're just what we've just described is the crux of so many of our challenges is Mhmm. It doesn't work out the way we want.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:45]:
Mm-mm. And I'm speaking from experienced people, and I get really annoyed. Like, I'm determined that I'm gonna be x, or I'm determined I'm gonna get I'm gonna do this. To there. And the universe has a completely different idea, and I just am so determined that I'd be right. And I don't you know, I it takes me a while to let go. My question is, How long did it take you to surrender?
Pei-I Yang [00:13:08]:
2 weeks.
Mahara Wayman [00:13:09]:
2? Okay. See here. She knew exactly where I was going with this. Only 2 weeks?
Pei-I Yang [00:13:14]:
I had no time, because the course was already start to start. They put me on another course. Right? Let's say we failed you on our therapy, But you can go through this course. So they put me on another course. I sat in the 1st lecture, and I was crying. My tea I just couldn't Stop crying. I was like, this is not what I was here for. I'm not here to learn about art management.
Pei-I Yang [00:13:35]:
Right? I was like, this is terrible. So then I was really blessed to have a friend who was also in the same situation as I was. And he said, there's this course in Edinburgh University. See, they have a open day. We can go and speak to them. I seriously dashed as soon as I said, there's this course. So we left to go to Edinburgh University, and we've managed to speak to the course director, and she was telling us, like, we would love to have you, but the closing date has closed. So he doesn't she doesn't really know if the graduate admission office will accept us.
Pei-I Yang [00:14:05]:
But I say over this weekend, I remember I still remember that was a Friday. Say over this weekend, send me all your information, all your application, your certificates, your everything, and I will send this over to the graduate this. And I I I thought my mom's doing I was like, get this done over this weekend, and we got that. So we sent it over on a Sunday, and I remember I I heard back on the Monday After when she told me, you've been accepted, but there's a few things to catch up. And that's when I go, right, I am doing this. God has already opened another door for me. And then I still didn't have enough money because I was like, I don't have money to do this course. But then again, my family friends and have helped me Through that journey.
Pei-I Yang [00:14:45]:
So I was able to finish my master and leave in school, and I was also working in ice cream kiosks to to make money. So I survived, and I was really happy on the course.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:56]:
So such an inspiring story and, you know, truthfully, you're quite young at this time. I mean, I'm in my late fifties, And, I can appreciate how much courage it took to not only ask for help, but to to trust in the universe or god source. What whatever word resonates with you. I'm telling you folks, that takes courage. Right? And for you to have that at such a young age is really remarkable. Hole. So okay. Let's move forward a little bit.
Mahara Wayman [00:15:25]:
You got your degree in what was the first one that you your first master's that you have?
Pei-I Yang [00:15:32]:
It's childhood studies. So it's about child development and, say, a psychology side of things and social social study side of things.
Mahara Wayman [00:15:40]:
Okay. Very fascinating topic. I'm a parent. Hardest job I've ever done. Most amazing job I've ever been given. But I see I I see the need. And I'm wondering what, if anything, came as a surprise to you. Like, oh my god.
Mahara Wayman [00:15:59]:
I didn't realize this was such a problem, or I hadn't realized how I hadn't realized that this existed on such a level. I'm just curious. When you started studying this, what what were some of the ahas for you?
Pei-I Yang [00:16:13]:
Well, I suppose because of my experience of being in school and how I was educate, I hated that. I hated how I wasn't treated as a person, and I'm seen as a academic person. So my school my 1st part time job to pay help my family pay off the debt is to become a teacher, and I did just that. I was like, I am not ever gonna treat my kids the way I was treated, my relationship with With them, Trump, over everything. So I had a really good relationship with all my kids when I was teaching at the time, but only when I went on this course. So I was like, So everything I was There's a psychology behind it, but I didn't know. Right? Because I didn't study psychology back then and the child development side of things. I just go with my gut, Go with what I think is the right thing to do and how I get connected with the children.
Pei-I Yang [00:17:01]:
So when I went on that course, I was like, okay. So everything I did, Actually, a theory to back this up so I wasn't doing something random. So that became really powerful for me because I already got the experience side of things, and now I got the theory side of thing. So it become a really powerful tool for me to support and help family. And that was my first moment thinking, I can do this, and I love doing this. And that's why I want to do A therapy in the 1st place is I want to look at the psychological insight psychological side of things to help children You know, to thrive, to know actually you can have your voice because I didn't have a voice when I was a child, you know, and I wanted to heal that part of me through working with other children, in which it's another side. It's another story of
Mahara Wayman [00:17:41]:
what it is. Yeah. What I think is so so special, and I I have to call it out, is the recognition that we are on The right path. Because when we when we instinctively know something or an act on it, To me, that's like, wow. You really are connected with your authentic side. You authentically recognize what your strengths are. You're trusting your gut instinct. And so it's just a great story because so many of us, I think, and guys listening, feel free to drop comments, but see if you agree with this.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:16]:
So many of us pretend and ignore our intuition because of what we're told. You need to be this. You need to be that. You need to, You know, like you said, you need to be a doctor, a lawyer, or, you know, something of that genre. But when we actually When we take a breath and listen to our intuition, we actually do know the answers. And some of us have developed our intuition stronger than others. Some of us, you know, we have it straight from the womb, and we've never let go. We've always listened to it, which is great.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:49]:
But this is just an example. So, peeps, Listening. When you when you figure out that you're you know something intuitively, that's a sign. Go with it. Go with it. It's part of being badass. Right? Trusting your intuition. So beautiful.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:02]:
Okay. So you got your 1st master's. You were you're working with children. What age children typically did you work with at that time, or is it the same now?
Pei-I Yang [00:19:12]:
Well, it's pretty much from 0 to 18 back then, you know, but mainly I mean, it's in various setting, but mainly primary age children, and there occasionally will be teenagers. And it's all children who are on child protection, who experience abuse, neglect, trauma, parental domestic violence, you know, all side all all the life adversaries you can think of, I have had the privilege to work with. And for the past 11 years, I started to focusing on teenagers.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:44]:
All I can think of as you're as you're talking about this is my heart is kind of aching. Mhmm. I'm a parent, And I feel so fortunate, but what you've described takes a special skill, I think, to not be Flattened by the pain. Mm-mm. And I'm wondering if you could talk about that for a little bit because just listening to you, I can feel a heaviness in my heart like a sadness. I am not meant to work in that area. Like, I can just tell because it feels heavy. But how did you or how do you navigate between, you know, the work and the empathy or the or how you you know, the two sides of that because it takes a special person.
Pei-I Yang [00:20:29]:
Mm-mm. It was really hard to begin with, but I think I am so connected with the the children's needs and the parents' needs. And you cannot become part of them, but then you're not really them. But I really struggle to begin with. I was like, I can't do this. Like, you know, hearing children telling you they have been abused or mom has been battered by their partner or, You know, they have another psychotic episode. It really breaks your heart. And I think having good support is really important because in the end of the day, you need to think about I always remember this.
Pei-I Yang [00:21:03]:
Right? When I was working in a hospital as a clinical as a as my placement, My supervisor always tell me, and I still remember this day, has helped me till this day, is you are a washing machine, Payee. Washing machine. Washing machine. You. Yeah. That's what You have to imagine yourself as a washing machine. You dry clothes. You don't soak water in and stay wet.
Pei-I Yang [00:21:24]:
Right. So yeah. So I was like, that makes me think right. So all the emotional side of things, I need to let it go and have a place it to go. And it it does take time to work that through because sometimes I remember I was working with this 5 year old, and It's only after when she was giving me feedback. She said she wrote something like, I'm so grateful for Pei to come and visit me so I can sleep at night so I have food to eat. And that really they're just like, oh my god. But at the same time, you knew you have done something wonderful for this young person that She really needed at the time, you know, but it was it's not easy.
Pei-I Yang [00:21:59]:
It's still not easy. I could be a 2 o'clock walk up thinking, right, that family, you know, or, like, Walking my dog thinking, alright. Alright. I need to speak to his family about this. So they're constantly with me, but I also learn to live with their emotions and their challenges and struggles. So but your writing's not for everybody.
Mahara Wayman [00:22:18]:
So we're gonna take a short break right now, but I'll be back with my guest within 60 seconds. Ladies, unlock your inner badass and transform your life with my monthly subscription workshop. For just $47 a month, You'll have exclusive access to work closely with me, Mahara Wayman, as we dive deep into all things badass from personal development to conquering your goals. Imagine waking up every day with confidence, purpose, and a Smile that radiates your newfound strength. Take advantage of this badass opportunity and join us today at www.mindfulnesswithmahara.com, and start your journey toward a happier, more confident you. Smile when no one is looking. You've earned it. But I think, you know, what I'm hearing, which is so powerful is, Number 1, it's possible to do hard things.
Pei-I Yang [00:23:14]:
Yep.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:14]:
And that is you know, that's another component of being a badass is recognizing that you can do hard things. What I also heard was a recognition that you can empathize, appreciate, You know, all of the you can have that spectrum of emotions, but it you don't have to live there.
Pei-I Yang [00:23:32]:
Exactly.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:32]:
You can see it, feel it, Recognize it and then step away from it and go, okay. I'm here for a reason. How can I help this? And not allow yourself to be drowning in this, but it's not take a special person. I just wanna say thank you on behalf of all of the children and families that you've helped Because I know how important it is that these children have a voice. I I said to someone the other day, I was telling them that when I raised my kids are 20. Today, my youngest turns 20. 20 and and almost 25. And I had a very upper middle class upbringing, happy, healthy, you know, very fortunate.
Mahara Wayman [00:24:15]:
And I still struggled to keep my cool as a parent because, you know, children can be very tough. And I remember saying to them screaming at them actually. Your lucky stars, mommy doesn't drink or do drugs because if I did, boy, you'd be in like, you'd be hurting now. And While I said it in jest, I kind of didn't because I recognized in that moment that this is hard, you know, when when you are exhausted. I mean, I we had food on the table, beautiful house, beautiful family, and I still felt at the end of my rope trying to Navigate a day with these young children. And I've never forgotten screaming that at them. And, Of course, my children were like, yeah, mom. Whatever.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:00]:
Right? Yeah. Bye, mom. But, but it really did help. You know, being a parent has really opened up my eyes to the fragility of life.
Pei-I Yang [00:25:11]:
Absolutely. And it's really the most admirable profession ever, Iman.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:17]:
Yeah. To be a parent. Mhmm. Okay. So let's fast forward a little bit. You have been in Scotland for 27 years?
Pei-I Yang [00:25:26]:
Actually, 20 years, I think. Coming to 20. Mm-mm.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:29]:
Okay. Sorry. Okay. So you've been there for 20 years. By the way, I love that a couple of your words have that Scottish accent.
Pei-I Yang [00:25:35]:
I try not to speak Scottish because a lot of people won't understand me. So I love it.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:40]:
I love it. So you have been in Scotland for over 20 years. Let's talk about what you're doing now because you mentioned that last October, you established your own parenting practice. Let's talk about that and how I I'd love to know some key moments in, a, the decision To open that practice and that may have happened once you've opened it.
Pei-I Yang [00:26:00]:
Well, before I opened my practice, I actually had been working with teenagers, with the most vulnerable teenagers across the city, and they were at risk being accommodated really because of their antisocial behavior. They could be really aggressive. They could be taking drugs. They could be running drugs and Associate with gang sexual exploitation, exploitation in general. So that's what I was doing, and they I really loved my job, and I never thought about I would love working with teenagers. When I first got this job, I was like, is this the right job? Why am I with teenagers? Like, I don't I'm not sure. But then throughout this journey, it's fascinating, Mahara, because I love working with them. They're so funny.
Pei-I Yang [00:26:41]:
And then I realized, actually, the reason I connected with them so much is because I was a teenager myself. I was rebellious. I wouldn't I didn't get along with my parents. I didn't wanna speak to them. I didn't wanna go traveling with them. Even they say, let's go to America. I'm like, no. So you just don't want to do that part.
Pei-I Yang [00:26:58]:
So then I reminded of myself, like, part of my life. I was like, right. That's why I connected so well with them. And then this because the demographic that we I work with is really, really like, it's polar opposite. There could be families on benefits. There could be Meaning celebrity family, politicians, or psychiatrists, like, really high achieving families. But I found myself connected really, really well with those high achieving families because They are the ones that professional professionals don't want to work with, and no offense to those professionals because these families are really intelligent. They know what they want.
Pei-I Yang [00:27:31]:
And you need to have you need to be ready to have an answer for them to be able to work through things with them. Right? And then I love my challenge. I love when they throw a thing at me and go, so how do you explain this, Paige? Right? My teenager's like this. You tell me the answer. I'm like, Great. I love these things. I really thrive in this. And then I think when you come to and you mentioned I'm young.
Pei-I Yang [00:27:51]:
I'm really not young anymore. Mahara, I'm about to be 50 years old very soon. And then I will say, right, I'm about at the point I did go through a midlife crisis. And while I was working with my job, managing all the service and everything, I was just like, do I really want to live like this the day I die. Right? I love what I did, but there's something was missing. I feel like I need to do this on my own. I want to do it my way And a better way that is fit into my value, my ethos. Because when you're working for organizations or pop whatever that is, they have their own games to play.
Pei-I Yang [00:28:24]:
And then I was told I always remember someone told me if you don't like their games, you you leave. Then I thought, you know what? I'm just gonna make up my own game, And I can have my own role, do it my way, but I serve the family the best I can. So I decided I take a plunge of just that I need to leave, and I did without, Like, any any money you're saving whatsoever. I was like, I'm going, and I did last year.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:49]:
Crazy brave. Crazy, crazy brave. I love that. So you now have your own business.
Pei-I Yang [00:28:57]:
I do, And I love it. I love every minute of it. It's not easy because, like, people don't know who I am. I was popular and well respected in that professional life. But being a business person yourself, it's a new world for me. I have to reestablish Who I am with people, introduce myself to people, who I am and what I can do. So that has been a journey for me, but I love every minute of that. When I wake up, I think about The families I work with or the families I can serve or who I can serve, you know, tomorrow and today, so I love it.
Mahara Wayman [00:29:34]:
I wanna go back to just the because you said something that I can really relate to, which was this fear of, wow. I got this is a whole new ball game for me. You spent years in in academia. You've spent years in in one way in one mold, and now you're creating your own mold. I'm curious though if what came up for you that you had to deal with? Because that, again, is a sign of being a badass is when you are willing to deal with the The stories that come up. So was anything like, was it impostor syndrome? Was it, like, I'd like, I don't know. You tell me. What came up for you that makes you say this was hard?
Pei-I Yang [00:30:10]:
I suppose the heart is, am I doing the right thing here? You know? Am I writing the right message to the families I want to speak to? What if this is a Bad decision because I left a very high paid job to
Mahara Wayman [00:30:23]:
Mhmm.
Pei-I Yang [00:30:23]:
Bureau income. And then I have 7 pets to rate to to feed, My husband is helping too. Well, there's a lot of finance you know, financial implication. So then you do have those moments as have I made the right decision here to have my own business and serve the families the way I want to or I should have stuck in that mold and get paid really well and then, you know, just in my comfort zone. But I have never regretted my decision ever, Mahara. I didn't I regret it. I didn't do it earlier. Right? That's my Decision.
Pei-I Yang [00:30:55]:
That's where I'm wrong reflection. Well, it's hard. And what was hard is that fear. You keep going back to the fear of the lack. What if the money didn't come in this month? What if the money didn't you know, I didn't have anything to pay for the bill? But then it's a trade. It's a says for me now I'm in a place, sometimes I will still have a moment thinking, where's my latest client coming in? Right? But then now I think about my says doesn't is not quantified by the money I make, but it's by how many families I serve today. And I know there are a lot of families reading my posts, Reading every single email I send them, because you know how they have the they can look at the statistics. And then when I see those families Consistently read every single email I've sent it to them for me that is a success for me.
Pei-I Yang [00:31:39]:
So it's these things moments I start to have to retrain my brain. Your success is not coming from money. It's coming from how many people have you served. And those family who are ready to come to see me, They will show up at a time they need to. So, we'll see.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:55]:
Okay. Can I just say amen?
Pei-I Yang [00:31:57]:
Yeah. Okay.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:59]:
Amen. Amen. But you know it's interesting because I understand exactly what you're saying, and I understand the fear. And for those of you listening, You know, the fear can show up in lots of different ways. It can show up in anger. Mhmm. You just get pissed off at your partner or you yell at your kids. It can show up as somatically in your gut like just a wrenching, and your bowels just go like this, and you just you start to sweat.
Mahara Wayman [00:32:25]:
There's lots of different ways, but what I what I say to my clients and to myself is it's coming up for a reason. Don't be afraid of it because, first of all, the body remembers everything. Right? So if you're feeling something in your body somatically, just say thank you, Lord, thank you, universe, because I'm gonna listen now and take a moment to sit quietly. But then I think the the next step really is to Ask yourself, am I willing to have this experience even if it's uncomfortable?
Pei-I Yang [00:32:56]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:32:56]:
And, You know, hopefully, you'll say yes. If you say no, then there's a reason for that too, and, you know, don't be too hard on yourself. But as an entrepreneur, Man, oh, man. There are days because I'm I'm a new entrepreneur as well. And I also go, where's my next client coming from? And what I think is so amazing is how easy it can be to separate yourself from all the amazing things that you've done And just focus on what's not there. There isn't you know, the bank account doesn't look the way I want it to or the way I need it to. Need, quotation marks. And then something will happen.
Mahara Wayman [00:33:35]:
Typically, after I ask for for help, I often you know, in the morning when I do my meditation, I always ask for support and guidance, and then something will happen to remind me, just like you said, of all the amazing work that we are doing. And it our Success is not about the bank account. Yep. If we make success about outside material things, we are always chasing that. If we let that go and recognize its successes within and we have everything we need, we are connected to source if we allow ourselves, Then it just becomes very easy. But it's hard because we live in a material world. Bills have to be paid, You know, all of that stuff. So thank you for sharing that.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:17]:
I think it's very honest of you. And, really, for those of you listening, you are not alone. We're here to tell you that we're we know that you're not alone, but it is possible to navigate the challenges of entrepreneurship or even just the challenges of life. Because let's be honest, Sometimes it can be really tough, especially as a parent. So your your business has been open for almost a year. What's the biggest thing that you've learned about yourself? Brand new learning.
Pei-I Yang [00:34:47]:
About myself is I don't trust myself enough.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:50]:
Oh, oh, okay. Hello. That came as a surprise. What do you mean by that?
Pei-I Yang [00:34:56]:
Right. I am so I I know. This is weird, isn't it? I it just came out of my mouth. Right? That must be true. I suppose it's because entrepreneurship is so new to me, But I'm really good at supporting families. And when, like, even the hardest, the most challenging family or the the fam the challenges thing they're Going through, I will be able to laser eye. Go right. Here's the problem.
Pei-I Yang [00:35:19]:
We can address this. Here's a good thing. We can look at this. But when it comes to my own business, I feel like I'm totally like a dummy, Like a 5 year old. So then I'm really scared to make decisions like, oh, do I hire this person to do this, or do I do this myself? Or am I, you know, doing my website right? Am I, you know, on the right social plaque social media platform, or am I right, you know, in Going on buying this course, and I invested a lot of money on coaching, by the way, Mahara, because that's one thing that I would try to do. I would just invest. So then I know I am best placed to to run my business and support my families. But that because being so new, I was not Sure.
Pei-I Yang [00:36:00]:
And I don't trust myself enough to make the right decision about my business. Isn't it funny? Then I get really frustrated when things don't turn out the way they should have. Then I'll come back to myself. I should have listened to myself. Right? And this keep repeating itself until now I'm like, you are listening to yourself. If you don't know what to do, you wait till the answer comes to you. And I tell my friends who knows about me. I speak to them.
Pei-I Yang [00:36:26]:
I say, if I'm Telling you about something, and I'm going to make a decision. You always come back to me and say are you sure? Is this the answer you are looking for? So they will have some scripts to come back to me to remind me, actually give you more time. It's not an impulsive decision or, you know, it's like, you know, Emotional decision. So that has been really helpful, but now I've that was the thing I learned about my entrepreneurship and about myself is I don't trust myself enough when it consumer business.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:55]:
Wow. Thank you for your honesty, and I love it when when guests say, wow. I didn't know I was gonna say that. That tells me I asked a great question, which is my superpower. And I think it's so important that we give ourselves a break. And I'm telling you, I'm in the same boat. I'm an entrepreneur. I'm a new entrepreneur.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:12]:
And one thing that comes to me quite often as a memory, when I worked or a global health and wellness company. I learned a really beautiful trick as a facilitator, which was if I didn't know Where to go next in a group coaching session, for example. Somebody said something, and I'm like, I don't even know how to connect that to the topic, for example. I would just invite them to tell me more. And what I heard in that was that you were actually what you've learned is to Give yourself time to come up with more, more feelings, more questions, more more investigation. Because when we give ourselves permission to learn, be, sit, feel, investigate, we come up with the answer. And that's that it's an exercise of trusting, learning to trust yourself Mhmm. And learning to to Limit the judgment.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:08]:
I don't know about you, but I can be very judgmental about my business. Oh my god. I shoulda I should be making more now. I should have more clients. I shouldn't have I should should. There's lots of shoulds, and I recognized in I'm a certified mastery method coach. And when we came to the module on judgment, I was blown away because in my, naivete, in my Obnoxiousness. I don't even know what word I would use.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:34]:
I just didn't realize how judgmental I was because I kept thinking, you know, I'm a nice easygoing person. I got lots of friends, Got a great family. And then when I, you know, got into this module and I realized that judgments not only for others, friends, family, partner, husband. But, really, judgments on myself were really hurting me. Judgments don't serve they don't help guys. We create them for a reason. We create them to protect ourselves. But often we hang on to them long past when we've need them, and that's a big lesson for me.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:11]:
So learning how to be judgment free and or to just sit And come up with more has really been helpful for me. I mean, it helped me as a as a facilitator for group coaching. Because when when I invited people to tell me more, they actually had to think, and then we got to where we needed to go. Excellent.
Pei-I Yang [00:39:30]:
Yeah. Sounds amazing. I think, like, Mara, I can res resonate with that. I think it's a shared experience. It's a universal shared experience, that judgment of ourself and the voice we that your cultural or your family, that the shoot. You know, you're 15 years old. You should have done this. You're 30.
Pei-I Yang [00:39:47]:
You should be married by now. Right. Or you're 40. You should have children by now, like, who say so? So it's yeah. It this is all compound as to why we have that judgment for ourself. But I love the lesson you learned is to be kind to yourself and, mhmm, play the universe to you.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:06]:
Exactly. And, you know, one of the easiest ways, and I say this to clients quite often is, I challenge you this week. Write down all the times that you've said it should. Full sentence. I should have gotten up earlier. I should have aced the whatever it is, and then change it to could. And tell me how you feel differently in your body from 1 sentence to the other. I should have gotten that raise versus I could have gotten a raise, but instead, I got a sideways promotion that I actually like better.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:41]:
Whatever the case may be, and it's it's incredibly powerful. And and it's so funny because every time I say it and people do it, they kinda look at me caca like, oh, whatever, Mahara. God. And then they come back. Oh my god. That's amazing. What a difference language makes because language has energy. I believe in the power of words.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:01]:
I'm a writer, and I have a whole section in one of my programs on getting to know the English language better so it serves you And doesn't as opposed to not serving you. So, anyway, I I got a little bit sidetracked there on on the beauty of the of the English language, but, very, very nice. Okay. Let's talk about where you are absolutely today. What's going on in your world today, and why are you a badass?
Pei-I Yang [00:41:25]:
Well, I'm not doing much today. Today is my recovery day, so I'm just spending time with my husband, my dogs, and my dad is visiting me just now from Taiwan. So it's really nice to the the 2 men I love the most in the world being with me.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:38]:
Oh, that's beautiful.
Pei-I Yang [00:41:39]:
Yeah. And then my 7 pets, Just spending time with them. Why else did you ask me? I already forgot the question.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:45]:
I asked you, you know, why are you badass? And, of course, can you my bad. I know why you're badass, and I'm sure our listeners have already figured out that you're badass. But I always ask or I'm very curious why you feel that you're a badass.
Pei-I Yang [00:41:58]:
I think I'm a badass, but I don't have the worst life ever comparing to a lot of people. You know, in many ways, I still found myself really blessed in many different ways. And this life hardship of adversaries, I I feel like they are my superpower because they I use them as my superpower to help People to help families because of what I went through. And I told her I should remember. See, I should remember this better. I've already done it. I've already judged myself. I should have done it.
Pei-I Yang [00:42:25]:
It's like, in the bible, it said because you are comfort you can comfort because you've been comforted. Right? And I because I've been in my place, and I've been comforted So I can use that power to comfort other families who are really struggling. So I think these my life challenges has really become a superpower to be able to serve families, And that's why I'm a badass. I don't I got knocked I got knocked down, but I came back up straight away and then down, up, down, and up, and up, and down, up and down, up and down, and And I will continue to be up and down. Right? And that's
Mahara Wayman [00:42:56]:
real life. I love it. And you know what? You are badass because Part of being a badass really was when you recognize who you are, you're not afraid to, quote, fail. You get knocked down, you get back up. You get knocked down, you get back up. I think that's a beautiful description of being a badass. And, oh my gosh, holy hell, you are. If I ever make it to Scotland, I'm gonna come and hang with you.
Mahara Wayman [00:43:19]:
And Oh, he
Pei-I Yang [00:43:19]:
has to go to Canada. Or does he? Oh, he does. He's always moved to Canada, I might know.
Mahara Wayman [00:43:26]:
It's a beautiful country. Thank you so much for chatting with me today. I really love this conversation, and I suspect that we are going to have more of them off air just because I really connected with with your story and your your journey. I wish you all the best. Guys, check out the show notes because all the different ways that you could connect with my guest will be there. I hope you've enjoyed this conversation, And I'll see you next week on the art of badassery. All the best with your business, and Thank you. Great day.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:03]:
Thank you for tuning in 2, the art of badassery. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and gained valuable insights to help unleash your inner badass. If you found this podcast helpful, Please leave a rating or review on your favorite platform. Your feedback not only helps me improve the show, but it also helps others like yourself discover the podcast. Until next time, keep embracing your authenticity and living life on your terms. Here's to you.
