Mahara Wayman [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of badassery where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms, break free from the status quo, and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host Mahara Wayman and each week I dive into the stories, insights, and strategies of those who've mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is looking. Welcome to the Art of Badassery podcast. I'm Mahara, and I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest today. Her name is Douna Zucher, half Spanish and half Swiss. Douna grew up in Portugal and later moved to Andorra at 12 before venturing to Australia when she was 26.
Mahara Wayman [00:00:59]:
Growing up in a household filled with drama, she learned to suppress her emotions, striving to maintain the peace around her. However, this led to a really challenging relationship with food and body image. When her father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, his contentment with life inspired her to make peace with herself. This journey has led Doona to discover her purpose and start her coaching business. Now living in Texas, she and her husband are converting a van into their home so they can travel the continent. That's badass. Welcome to the show, Doona. I am so excited to learn more about your journey.
Duna Zurcher [00:01:37]:
Hi, Mahara. Thank you so much for that introduction. I really love it. And thank you for so much for having me. I'm very excited too.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:45]:
Absolutely my pleasure. I always ask my guests in an interim form that they get before coming on the show. What makes them badass? So let's just open the show with that. Duda, how can you be badass?
Duna Zurcher [00:01:57]:
Well, you know, I think that at the end of the day, we are all badass because we all try to do the best we can, right, with what we have. So I think that when I look back and I think all the things I've been through, and I and I'm here, and I'm, you know, healthy and happy and working towards the things I want. So I'm a bad ass because of that, because I didn't let all those, quote, unquote, bad things stop me from having the life that I want. And that's what I wish for everyone.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:28]:
Oh, so good. Well, you know, thank you for that. And you're right. This finding the wherewithal within ourselves to keep going when we've been disappointed, I think is one of the biggest challenges that we can face Yeah. In our lives. And some of us do it naturally. Some of us do it on you know, with with help, and some of us put off that that recognition until later on in our lives. But if you wouldn't mind taking us back to some of the defining moments of your childhood.
Duna Zurcher [00:02:55]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:56]:
Tell us a little bit more about how you navigated them.
Duna Zurcher [00:02:59]:
Yeah. So, of course, during my childhood, I I thought my childhood was normal. But, looking back, there was a lot of drama like you mentioned. And, so big things would happen from a little thing, a big explosion with, you know, just big arguments would happen and everything out of proportion. And I would always be in the middle trying to make everyone, you know, be more calm and try to to maintain peace. The problem is that after all those moments, we never talked about it. No one ever asked me, how do you feel about this that happened, or what do you understand from what happened? Nothing. Things would happen, and the next day, it's like nothing happened.
Duna Zurcher [00:03:51]:
So what did I learn? I learned that, my emotions are not valid because if no one asks me, I learned that I had to be very careful with the things that I said because in my environment, a little thing could lead to a very big drama. And I also learned that we do not talk about things. And, of course, that has big consequences as you grow up, because you I I thought that you don't think about you you don't talk about bad things. You just talk about the good things, and then when something happens, you just shove it down and that's it. And, so what I didn't know as well at the time is that the way I found to feel better, to seek some comfort, to fill a void was food because food, it does do things in your body, so it does make you feel better. But for me, it it really was that bright, moment, to to eat that food because food kind of becomes a friend. And, but at the time, I was not at all aware. I just thought that I had a problem with food that I needed to diet, but I was not able to stick to to a diet.
Duna Zurcher [00:05:14]:
So as I grew up, and until I, entered all this, word world of coaching and health and all that, I just thought that I had a problem with food. I did not know that I that emotionally eating emotional eating was a thing. I just thought that if a lot of people are able to eat normally what I saw as normally, and I could not stick to a diet, so the problem was me, not other people or not diets. I was the problem.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:49]:
Okay. Thank you so much for sharing. And, you know, I have struggled with my weight most of my life.
Duna Zurcher [00:05:54]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:55]:
And I even worked for a health and wellness company for that was the bulk of my corporate career was learning to understand and navigate my emotions around eating. Mhmm. And I think it's powerful that you you highlight that at a young age, you recognize that food didn't disappoint. Mhmm. That's what I heard from what you said was, you know Yeah. It makes us feel good because we like it. It tastes good, and it doesn't disappoint. You always know what you're getting with food.
Duna Zurcher [00:06:22]:
Uh-huh.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:23]:
And that can be incredibly comforting when Mhmm. The rest of the world is in chaos. You're like, yeah. But these chips, they I know exactly what's gonna happen when I eat the chips. I'm gonna feel good, and that's it. So thank you for sharing that. And for any young people that are well, it doesn't really matter what age you are, but if you are still in a in a world where you turn to food because of your inability to sit with your emotions
Duna Zurcher [00:06:53]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:54]:
What's what's something that you would share with them as as a piece of advice on how they could take one small step
Duna Zurcher [00:07:01]:
to recognizing
Mahara Wayman [00:07:03]:
a different path?
Duna Zurcher [00:07:05]:
Yeah. There is so many things that we could talk about, and I do think that a a key piece at the beginning is really looking at your beliefs around food and emotions. Because if you believe that there for example, there are negative and positive emotions or good and bad food, you that moral value you attributed to yourself when you feel a positive or negative emotion, or you eat a good or bad food. So if I think that chocolate is bad, every time I eat that, I am being bad. The the moral value that I'm attributing to the food, now it's me too. And with emotions, it's the same. It's that that's why I do not classify emotions as good or bad. I classify them as comfortable, uncomfortable, easier, difficult, hard, less hard, but not negative because all of them have something to teach us.
Duna Zurcher [00:08:04]:
All of them have a message, and they are there for a reason. So, and so if I believe that being angry is something bad, I am going to avoid being angry because it's bad. The same thing that I want to avoid eating sugar because it's bad. So labeling all these labels, it seems silly, but in our unconscious mind, they have a very powerful, they are very powerful because we are not conscious about it, but they are, they are directing our life. So that is a very important piece that I would say. And another very important piece is breathing. Why do I say this?
Mahara Wayman [00:08:51]:
No. No. Hold on. I definitely I I'm all into breath work, but I just wanna highlight that this idea of labeling our emotions. You're right. For the most part, we have been taught there's good and there's bad. But part of the challenge that I that I felt was I actually didn't know what I was feeling, so I couldn't I didn't have the vocabulary. At that time, when I was very young, it was it was very black and white because I just didn't know better.
Duna Zurcher [00:09:24]:
As I Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:24]:
Older and more educated, when I read more and learned more, I began to have a a larger, vocabulary. So I recognize that there's a difference today. You know, in my late fifties, I totally understand that there's a difference between disappointment, discouragement,
Duna Zurcher [00:09:41]:
dis Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:42]:
For example. Three words that start with d.
Duna Zurcher [00:09:45]:
Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:45]:
I may when I was younger, I may have just said, I don't feel good. I'm mad. Mhmm. But now that I'm older, I can recognize that there's a very subtle difference between these, you know, this Mhmm. Spare, whatever the other third one was that I said. So I think part of our challenge is to really get clear on what it is that we're feeling.
Duna Zurcher [00:10:06]:
Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:10:07]:
And then to your point, recognize that emotions are not good or bad. They're just signposts
Duna Zurcher [00:10:13]:
Mhmm. To growth. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:10:15]:
So when we can take away the feeling of I'm bad for this and flip it with, well, that's interesting. What am I supposed to learn from this? What is this telling me? That stand a better chance of sort of navigating these uncomfortable situations. That's what I wanted to say. So thank you for bringing that up.
Duna Zurcher [00:10:33]:
And I totally agree with what you say, and it's true that a lot of times, just the fact not even labeling as positive or negative, but giving it a name, it is so, difficult. And that's why it's also good to oh, I I that's what I do and I try to teach my clients and is how does it feel in your body? You know? Because our body gives a lot of information too. And if I don't know how to say, what's the name of the emotion, but does it feel good or bad? Where is it, you know, is it in in your chest? Or it's identifying the physical sensations and the thoughts that come with it as well. Because if you don't know if it's, I don't know, if you don't know the exact name, it's okay. That's something like you said, you learned, but it's also very important to turn in the body into the body and feel it. Okay. But first, we need to feel safe with that.
Mahara Wayman [00:11:33]:
Yes. Feeling safe is huge and breathing is part of somatic, so I can see that we're gonna talk about somatic. Mhmm.
Duna Zurcher [00:11:40]:
The other
Mahara Wayman [00:11:40]:
thing that I was gonna say, and I'd be curious to see if this resonates with you as well, is especially when we struggle with identifying it, usually we don't struggle with the narrative that we've attached to it. So we may not know what exactly we're feeling, but when asked, we can say, well, this makes me x y z.
Duna Zurcher [00:12:01]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:01]:
Feeling this way, whatever it is, then Mhmm. I must be x y z. You know? Like, there's there's a story that we tend to create Yeah. Onto our emotions. And often, the stories just aren't true. Right? They're just not true. So when you think back to being a a young kid amidst the drama, can you share with with us some of the stories that you created that as an adult, you not true, but at the time seemed very real to you?
Duna Zurcher [00:12:32]:
I thought my parents got divorced, and, my mom would not say very nice things about my dad. So for me, I was the problem in between them. If I don't exist, this problem in between them is not there anymore. I am the cause of the problem in between my mom who hates my dad. And if I was not there, she wouldn't hate him, or at least not the same way. And that was very hard because I never thought, oh, let me get out of here. I never had those kind of thoughts, but I could've. Because I constantly had that narrative from my mom that your dad this, your dad that, and, you know, a lot of things that a child does not need to know.
Duna Zurcher [00:13:26]:
And a lot of those were exaggerations as well because she was hurt. So for a long time, I really felt guilty of being alive because it hurt my mom. And that translating that into now, I I always try to not cause problems. And well, now now I know to set boundaries and all that, but as an adult, when I started all this healing journey, I realized that I'm a people pleasing and, people pleaser. Sorry. And I always try to to not cause problems, to not be a problem. And I think that comes from that because that's something I learned.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:14]:
So would you say then and thank you for sharing that. I suspect many of our listeners, myself included, can really relate to that. Yeah. Human nature, we try to figure things out. We just don't have the brain power because we're babies. We're little. We just don't know. But the brain will always try to come up with an answer.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:31]:
And often when we're young, the answer is not correct. But would you say then that this realization was one of the first things that you went through to really allow you to feel in control when you navigated this that particular belief?
Duna Zurcher [00:14:48]:
I it's difficult to say if it started there because when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, that's a little bit what, it was the rock bottom. Right? Because, it was a a very hard moment. It was not only that. It that was on top of other emotional things. I had had an accident that required my repatriation. I there was COVID. While I was traveling, I had met someone and my accident separated me from that person. So there was there was a lot of things.
Duna Zurcher [00:15:23]:
And I was living with my dad and his, partner after 20 years without living with my dad. And, you know, it's it was very challenging. And on top of that, my dad was sick. The problem is that I had abandonment issues with my dad, and I didn't know. Because my dad had asked me about it. Do you feel that I left and all that? I was like, no. No. No.
Duna Zurcher [00:15:47]:
Because I was not ready to talk about it. I didn't know that it was in my subconscious, I did have those ones, but in my conscious mind, I was like, no. It's all good. It's all good. When this happened with my dad, internally, it it was just a a a storm inside of me, a storm of emotions. I was angry at him, and I was angry at me, and I was angry at everyone, so I started therapy. So that's where I started looking at my past, looking at all the things that has happened. And that I I a a lot of the things that had happened were secrets that no one knew because I needed to preserve my family and and and my mom and my dad.
Duna Zurcher [00:16:30]:
And I I needed to preserve and and make people think that everything was fine. So I had to uncover all that. So it's very difficult to say where it started because it it's in therapy one day, I thought, I'm totally fine, and then so many things come up. Right? And and it's really peeling the onion and starting to look inward and accepting the things that happened, and accepting that I was a child so I did the things that I could, accepting that my parents did what they could, so all the resentment and that I could feel, I had I could feel that too. And now I am an adult, and I can take responsibility and heal my past and move on instead of letting my past define my present and my future.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:24]:
Thank you for sharing that with us. And I think you you bring up a really powerful point, and it's this idea of taking radical responsibility for our life. And, you know, it's it's a term that's pretty popular in in the self help world right now. And I'm glad because radical responsibility is, I think, 2 things, super powerful and super hard. Yes. You're right. You're right. And, you know, I think, this comes up quite a bit in my on my show is this idea that it's, you know, it's light and easy and breezy to consider yourself a badass.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:00]:
And I don't it's true. Right? I mean, we've worked hard to feel confident in speaking our truth. And a lot of times that comes from pain, and it comes out of place of pain, disillusionment, drama, disillusionment. I think that was a third word I was looking for earlier. But it's it's not an easy process necessarily. Mhmm. It can be an incredibly powerful one to take responsibility. But I wanna go back to this idea of accepting that your parents, for example, did the best that they could Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:33]:
Or that anybody has done the best or that any of us are doing the best that we can in any given moment. I'm a coach as well, so I say this all the time, and we talk about it with my clients. But part of me is like, yeah. That's easy to say. Blah blah blah. But how do you actually sit with that? Like, what does it take? Oh, does it take tuning into your breath? We got I got sidetracked. You wanted to talk about breath. Does it take
Duna Zurcher [00:19:00]:
Oh, it's fine. I I love talking to you about this anyway.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:04]:
So I wanna I do I don't wanna forget the breath, but does it take slowing down and just sitting with the emotion? Is that how we actually get over it or deal with it or accept it?
Duna Zurcher [00:19:17]:
Yes. And let the anger come up too.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:20]:
Okay. Let's talk about I
Duna Zurcher [00:19:21]:
had I had so much anger in me that I never let out because there was so much anger around me that I was like, okay. There is enough. Mine, let me keep it to myself. Until 5 years ago, only 2 people had seen me in a burst of anger because I only had had 2 burst of anger until I was 32. Meaning that I had a lot of anger inside of me, and a lot of anger because of all the things that had happened with my mostly with my mom. And, so I had to release that before I could accept that she did the things she did, not because she her intention was not to hurt me. My she's my mom, so she she she was not, oh, I'm gonna hurt my my daughter. No.
Duna Zurcher [00:20:19]:
That's not her intention. But with her the resources she had and and the things how she knew how to do it, she did what she could. 5 years ago, I did not say this. 5 years ago, I was like, I do not wanna talk about my mom. I do not wanna know how she is. And right now, I feel sorry because she's alone. She has 2 daughters, and she doesn't talk to any of the 2 daughters for 9 years. We haven't talked.
Duna Zurcher [00:20:49]:
But I had to let let go of that anger with my therapist. And when I said let say let go of the anger, I I I say it literally. She gave me a pillow Yeah. And a baseball bat. And she said, okay. Say whatever you need to say. And at the beginning, I was like, And she said, let it go. Let it go.
Duna Zurcher [00:21:12]:
I ended up really going hard, crying, and exhausted because I needed that. But I did it in a safe space. I'm not telling people, oh, just let your anger go. No. We need if if you feel that you have a lot of repressed anger, you need to do it in a safe space. You need to make sure that you're not gonna hurt yourself. There's a lot of things. But what I am saying is before you are able to get to a space where you find compassion towards people that hurt you, you need to do a lot of work to to process all the emotions that these people made you feel and bring compassion instead of judgment.
Mahara Wayman [00:21:54]:
Okay. Thank you for that. And I think this is the missing piece is because often, you know, we we may think, oh, just get over it. We may even you know, I I suspect I've even said that to my kids. My kids are grown now, but I may have even said that to them, which is, of course, a huge disservice because if you just say get over it, whether you say it to someone or you say it to yourself, you are bypassing a very necessary component on the journey of self discovery or growth or healing, which is to have a level of acceptance for what you're for what you've I also love that you you tacked on this idea of no judgment. Mhmm. Because, again, the minute we judge emotions, then we're judging ourselves. And I think everybody listening will understand and appreciate that judgments hurt.
Mahara Wayman [00:22:42]:
And to they hurt us more than we hurt the others because the other people don't know. Right? Exactly. We hurt ourselves. Yeah. Big big lesson to learn as as a human being on this on this planet or on this journey. The the other thing that I think is important to to sort of understand is it's not a bad thing to take radical responsibility. It's actually freeing. Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:06]:
Even if in the moment you don't see how that freedom can come about, trusting that taking radical responsibility will lead to freedom, I think, is an important component to that certainly drives me to wanna take radical responsibility. You know? So, yeah, radical responsibility, I'm I think I'm gonna have to do a show on it all on its own because there's so many interesting components to that concept of taking, first of all, responsibility, but then when it's radical, man, it's Yeah.
Duna Zurcher [00:23:36]:
Holds barred. Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:38]:
Well, can we can we go back to this idea of the breath? Because I had that earlier, and I I I took us down a a slightly different path. But talk to us about your feelings around somatics and breath and and the breath.
Duna Zurcher [00:23:52]:
Mhmm. So what happens with emotional eating is that you disconnect from your body because you're not feeling your emotions and all that. And a lot of people when they eat emotionally, it's because they have an unhealthy relationship with food. Right? If you have a healthy relationship with food, you don't go to food to to cope. You go maybe to other things, drugs, alcohol, shopping. I don't know. But, so you you eat emotionally, and then, a lot of people, including myself, what I did was diet. Diet and diet and diet because I thought that was a problem.
Duna Zurcher [00:24:32]:
As a consequence, you're even more disconnected from your body because diets tell you what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat. So you are completely disconnected from, your hunger cues, fullness cues, and, and all this. And then there's also, you know, all the, overthinking about food or any other thing. I think that a common trait in emotional eaters, it's the overthinking. You know, the anxiety of thinking about the future, the past, and all that. So when we are doing this, we're not here and now, so we are not present in our body. And I've discovered how precious it is to stop and breathe. And a lot of times, by doing that, just stop and breathe 3, 4, 5, 10 times if you need a deep belly breath.
Duna Zurcher [00:25:26]:
It has such a power. It's such a silly thing. It's such it's so simple. It's just your breath, and you have it with you constantly. And that has the power to bring you back to your body and help you calm down. And we don't know this enough because we are always in our automatic response and then doing all this to do things and all that, then we forget that mindful breathing has very powerful benefits in us. And one of them to me, it because I've suffered with anxiety a lot a lot a lot, bringing my mind back to there and now, it's been very powerful. And also when we eat, if you suddenly feel the urge to eat because you've had a very bad day, you get home and you're like, I just wanna eat my chips, or you had an argument, or wherever it is, and you feel that urge to eat.
Duna Zurcher [00:26:25]:
The first thing we wanna know, of course, it's the awareness piece. And this is what I think that when you start a healing journey, the awareness piece, it it needs to be there. And it's something that you need to, foster to be aware of the thoughts you have, the behaviors, and all that. So you you feel that you want to eat, that you're thinking about that food, and you just want to go and eat it, stop and take a deep breath. Take 5 deep breaths. And then when you are more calm, ask yourself a set of questions to then make an intentional decision, which might be eating that thing. It could be. Only you will know.
Duna Zurcher [00:27:05]:
But if before eating, you stop, you breathe, and ask yourself, do I really want this, or what do I feel? What kind of thoughts am I having? I'm feeling very overwhelmed. I'm actually it's anxiety. Okay. Is it eating the the chips that are gonna help me, or could I do something else before eating the chips? Oh, maybe you can, I don't know, go for a run or have a bath or write in a journal, and you do something else? And then you come back again. Do I still feel eating those chips? If it's yes, go for it. Before, it would have been your automatic response, and now you've done something else. You're training your brain a new path to break that automatic response, but that starts with the breathing from going to your head to come back to your heart and to your body so that you can really assess what you need and how you feel, and then make an intentional decision.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:00]:
Okay. So good. And so much juicy badassery in what you've just been saying. A couple things that come to mind for me, my business is called Mindfulness with Mahara. I've been meditating for half my life. And as a reminder, if there's anyone out there that doesn't practice any sort of meditation or any sort of breathing technique, in its simplest form, when we are focusing on our breathing, we are not worried about the past or worried future. We're just breathing, which is like and in that even that even if it's for 10 breaths, deep breaths that take 1 minute to do or 2 minutes or 10 minutes, that is giving your mind a break. You're giving yourself a break to just be very present.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:45]:
Guys, that's why mindfulness practices are all the rage. That's why we talk about making, you know, recognizing our breath to calm our our nervous system down. So I just wanted to highlight why one of the reasons why learning to breathe and and focus on the moment is so powerful because it takes us away from the stories of the past or the future. Yeah. The other component of sort of slowing things down is it gives you and I really appreciated how you phrase this. It gives us the opportunity to get curious. Mhmm. Because when we are curious, then we can make choices with intention.
Mahara Wayman [00:29:24]:
Mhmm. And a life of intention, to quote Brendon Burchard, is a life well lived. Yeah. It's when we are doing things on autopilot that we sometimes find ourselves unhappy at 25 going, what's what happened? I'm I'm miserable. So I love your highlighting the importance of taking a breath, not only to help you be focused and be present, but it allows you to get curious about why you're feeling the way you are. What is it that I'm feeling? Why am I feeling this way? And one one of the things that I sort of add on when I'm talking to my clients is when we give ourselves permission to be curious, it almost comes with a level of lightness and
Duna Zurcher [00:30:08]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:09]:
And fun. Like, oh my god. That's what what a feeling. Well, I'm feeling that way. Oh my god. How did that come up with that? Rather than the automatic dialogue that can narrative that can sometimes be very, very mean. Yes. And and, you know, as a reminder, we come up with these we come up with these these stories because they served a purpose at one point.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:34]:
Mhmm. There was a time when it we it protected. It was a protection. Yeah. But when we get to the place where we can recognize that, you don't need it anymore.
Duna Zurcher [00:30:43]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:44]:
Story may not be serving you. So, yes, it's badass to take a breath in the moment and just get curious about what you're feeling. And, you know, if you still want the chips and you're doing it with intention, party on. You can do the chips. They're not
Duna Zurcher [00:30:58]:
Enjoy. Enjoy. Do it mindfully and enjoy.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:02]:
So so good. Okay. You are now living talk to us about a little bit more about your work. You touched on it earlier, but what is your specialty? And who who do you help?
Duna Zurcher [00:31:14]:
I help women over 30 who they just want to end their emotional eating habits. They just want to learn how to handle those difficult emotions. Sadness, anger, boredom, loneliness, without resorting to food. Because they and and they try by dieting and restricting foods and and but they can't because they are not getting to the root cause and they are not understanding that, they they don't know how to handle how to feel and handle those emotions. So, I've been doing 1 on 1, and now there's something in a in a month. There's something coming up that I'm very, very excited about it because it's gonna be, a pilot program where I'm gonna do
Mahara Wayman [00:32:03]:
a coaching teaching and
Duna Zurcher [00:32:03]:
coaching, coaching teaching and coaching group. So I'm very, very excited about that. So what I do is really we look, first at what is it where they are now, where they wanna be, and why. I've learned how important it is. When you do something, why are you doing it? Are you doing because it's something that comes within you or because you think it's what you should be doing? Or because society, it's what's expected from you? Let's go to the why behind your choice. If you wanna work with me, let's say, why what is it that you want? What are you looking for for after? What are you looking for by healing your emotional eating habits? What is the life that's behind that? Because when then things get tricky because a healing journey has ebbs and flows, it's not linear, and like we said earlier, there's moments that are really, really hard and painful. And so when we are in those moments, we can get, we can look at that. Oh, if I do this and I keep working on this, that's what I'm I'm working for, that that view of the future.
Duna Zurcher [00:33:26]:
And I think that's very important. And, of course, according that to our values and strength. And from there, then it's when we look at, rewiring our brain. What are our beliefs that we have about, food and emotions, and all the, how to challenge them and change them, so that instead of holding us back, they are just imposing us to having the life that we want and healing those relationships that really hold us back from having the life that we deserve. So yes, and I'm so so excited for this that is come that is coming. I'm working hard. And, yeah, I can't wait to announce it.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:08]:
Oh my gosh. The energy guys, if you're not watching the video of this, the energy that's that she's just brought to the conversation is through the roof. She's just grinning like a Cheshire cat. I'm so excited for you. What would you say was the biggest thing that you've learned about yourself on this journey of navigating emotional eating?
Duna Zurcher [00:34:28]:
The power of breath and the power of thought. Earlier, we were saying, the stories we say, I had no idea that I had power over my thoughts. I had no idea that I didn't need to trust when I said you are lazy, you are this, or you are that. I didn't know that I need that I didn't have to believe that. I had to learn that what's going on here, I have power to change it, stop it, change it, challenge it. I have that power and I had no idea. And to me, that, when I learned that, I was like, oh my god. Oh my god.
Duna Zurcher [00:35:08]:
My head was the worst place, and now I can make it the best place to be. I get to make my head the most beautiful place to be, because I'm gonna be there my whole life. So I don't want it to be a mean place. I want it to be a place full of flowers and sun, and that doesn't mean that I never have bad and negative thoughts. That doesn't mean that What it does mean is that when suddenly I'm having a thought of, oh, you are so lazy because no. No. No. That's not what's happening.
Duna Zurcher [00:35:43]:
What's happening? And then I I have all this conversation, but I I don't let those negative thoughts hold me back and make me feel bad about myself.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:52]:
So, so powerful. And, you know, thank you for sharing that because I love the way that you phrased it. You can make your mind a beautiful place. Mhmm. And, you know, one of the hardest things for me to understand on my journey was just because I think it or feel it, doesn't make it true.
Duna Zurcher [00:36:11]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:11]:
Up until I realized that, I just accepted that if I feel it, then that's the truth. So if I feel like an idiot, I must be an idiot. If I feel I don't have control over eating, then I don't have control over eating. If I feel that this is bad, then that makes that I am bad. And so I thank you for highlighting that. It's possible to recognize the emotions, but not live there. Yeah. Because you you can't change the story.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:39]:
Right? Start changing the story. The brain will go, oh, okay. Exactly. Oh, okay. So, yeah, be careful of what you're thinking. And, you know, awareness is everything, you know, sort of the model for for growth, awareness accept signed action. When you can be very aware of what you're saying, then get curious and question it. You know? Accept it.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:00]:
Forgive it. All whatever you need to do in that moment. Mhmm. And then take aligned action. Whether it is you consciously agree, you you you think it through and go, yeah. No. I do want those chips, for example. Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:12]:
Comes aligned because you've given thought to the process. Yeah. Right? It becomes So oh my goodness. So many juicy things.
Duna Zurcher [00:37:21]:
And, you know, there's there's, a lot of automatic responses, and this is something that I change. And I realized not that long ago, I was like, yes. You know, this I don't know. You are looking for a pen, and it's in front of you, and you are like, oh, it's here. Or you hit your toe, and you're like, oh, again. Or and a lot of these little things. There are little things, but how do you react? Again, oh, you're so stupid. Oh, again.
Duna Zurcher [00:37:47]:
Oh, stupid. And I saw that I was constantly doing that. And how does that make you feel? You're constantly saying, oh, you're so stupid. That that's constant negative message that you're sending yourself. So I started catching that, what we're saying awareness, bring awareness. And every time I was like, oh, you're so stupid. I was like, no. You made a mistake and that's okay.
Duna Zurcher [00:38:10]:
Move on. I'm looking for my sunglasses. Oh, where are they? Instead of being like, oh, I'm I I laughed. So I've changed the way I react to those little annoying things because they are not annoying. They're just things that happen. But before I was choosing to looking at them as annoying and negative things, and now it's just, oh, I didn't see it. That's okay. That doesn't make me stupid.
Duna Zurcher [00:38:44]:
Anything. It's just I didn't see that it was in front of me. What's the problem? So it it's just to show how bringing awareness and and being careful with the things that we tell ourselves. You are not sad. You feel sad. So we need to very to be careful and to do the things we tell ourselves and how we react because all those things have an impact on how we feel about ourselves and how we feel inside of us.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:15]:
So so good. Oh my goodness. This has been such a great conversation, and I am I can relate to so much of what you've said. As I said earlier, I've struggled with my weight most of my life. I'm at a pause now, and guess what? The struggle is real. But but everything you're saying, I can really relate to this understanding that I may feel x, y, and z, but that doesn't make it true. And it's okay to feel that way. And, you know, I often ask myself, okay.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:42]:
What can I do in this moment?
Duna Zurcher [00:39:44]:
Mhmm. Exactly.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:45]:
What can I do? What can I do? So, so beautiful. Excited to hear more about your coaching program. Depending on when this episode drops, we could have a link for that, folks. Perfect. As always, check the show notes. I'd love for you to connect with her, my guest today, because she knows her stuff. She really knows her stuff. And thank you for joining us on today's episode of the art of badassery.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:08]:
My name is Mahara. Love to get some feedback from you on this episode. If you've got any questions for my guest or myself, you know how to reach us. This has been the art of badassery. Doudna, thank you so much for joining us. Can't wait to hear about your trip in Banne, a lawyer. Here, everyone. Thank you so much.
Duna Zurcher [00:40:27]:
Thank you so much for having me. A pleasure.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:32]:
Thanks for tuning in to another bad ass episode. Your support means the world to me. So if you enjoyed what you heard today, don't forget to like, share, and rate the episode on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback keeps the badassery flowing. And, hey, if you're ready to unleash your inner badass and conquer whatever life throws your way, why not book a complimentary badass breakthrough session? Just click the link in the show notes to schedule your session, and let's kick some serious butt together. Until next time, stay fearless, stay fabulous, and of course, stay badass. This is Mahara signing off.
