Mahara Wayman [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of badassery where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms. Break free from the status quo and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host Mahara Wayman and each week I dive into the stories, insights and strategies of those who have mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is looking. Welcome to the Art of Badassery podcast. My name is Mahara, and I'm so excited today to introduce you to my guest, Alexandra Stark, a powerhouse of creativity and innovation. She hails from Germany, grew up in the Canary Islands, and has studied in both Berkeley and France.
Mahara Wayman [00:00:57]:
Fluent in 4 languages and coaching in 3, she's passionate about helping ambitious female entrepreneurs craft powerful personal brands and design businesses that align with their unique vision. Alexandra seamlessly blends strategy with energetics, ensuring her clients not only succeed, but thrive with joy and playfulness. God, how badass is that? So what speaking on stages, interviewing successful women, or shopping with her VIP clients to make their badass personalities shine, Alexandra is all about embracing beauty, femininity, and authenticity in business and in life. Welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you here.
Alexandra Stark [00:01:41]:
Thank you so much. What a beautiful introduction. I'm so happy that I'm on your show.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:46]:
Oh, I'm I'm excited too. Let's go back to way, way back. Oh, okay. Oh, way way back. When did you first recognize your affinity for your dress? The way that you looked? The way that you did your hair?
Alexandra Stark [00:02:01]:
Oh, that's way back. So once upon a time, there was a little girl who was 2 years old, and her mom used to put her clothes on the bed so she could dress for school. And one day, she said, you know, mom, that's too boring. I like more colors. So basically, I started picking my own things very very early and my mom let me do it. Although, I she she might think that I look like a clown which I guess sometimes I did but I always loved vibrant colors. I always felt that my energy raises when I wear certain colors and it made me feel happy and it made me feel joyful. And that's why I didn't like dark colors.
Alexandra Stark [00:02:42]:
I didn't like black. I always had the typical colors like girls like like, pink and but also bold combinations. And when I look at my pictures from school, I'm like, holy moly. But, yeah, definitely different.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:57]:
Awesome. I love it. This badassery started young with you. Yes. So take us through all of your journeys. I I definitely were gonna talk about what you're where you're at today. But I'm fascinated that you speak 4 languages, that you grew up in the Canary Islands. Talk about your your childhood for a little bit if you wouldn't mind.
Alexandra Stark [00:03:16]:
Well, growing up on an island was definitely different. It's a small island. And, but it was a I had a beautiful childhood actually. I was I mean, I'm the child of the eighties. So I grew up climbing on trees and playing outside. There was no internet. There was no social media. No TikTok.
Alexandra Stark [00:03:34]:
No nothing. So we actually played outside, you know. Fresh air. I was running around. I was playing with the boys soccer and I never played with dolls. It's funny. I'm so full of contrast. You might think the fashion aspect was there but I was not interested in playing with dolls.
Alexandra Stark [00:03:52]:
No. I was playing with cars and with boys and playing Indians and cowboys and running around outside. And I loved horses. So I started, riding horses when I was, like, a deli could walk and I had my first horse was 10. So I was always in the stables with the horses wildly galloping around the field and going up the mountains and doing crazy things. I was really always outside and and I I loved it. And, yes, I went to a German high school but as, half of the things were in Spanish, you grew up with 2 languages. And then they added English and French as well.
Alexandra Stark [00:04:31]:
So growing up with 4 languages was normal for me. And as a kid, you learn that so easily. Yeah. So easily.
Mahara Wayman [00:04:38]:
So it sounds like you're a bit of a tomboy that still loved the pretty things.
Alexandra Stark [00:04:43]:
Yes. I was a tomboy. Fair enough. So when when
Mahara Wayman [00:04:47]:
you think back on your childhood, which sounds does sound quite wonderful, Was there anything that stood out as being a real learning moment for you where you stood back and went, okay. That's interesting. Yeah. That's me.
Alexandra Stark [00:05:03]:
Yes. Many moments. I realized I was a wild kid, and I couldn't shut my mouth. So as always and I was always the kid that was asking a million questions. Always. And some teachers, I made them crazy. But I was curious about the world and I was hungry for wisdom. I just wanted to soak everything in and asking questions all along was just was just part of me.
Alexandra Stark [00:05:27]:
But also when a teacher said something that I would not agree on, I just would reply I don't agree on. And some teachers, not good teachers, which I learned today, is that they didn't like that. So I spend a lot of time also outside of class because they threw me out many times. Because they said I'm too loud. I'm too rebellious. I'm disturbing the class, you know? But if I didn't agree with something that the teacher said or if I found something to be injustice, then I also would just not I I just couldn't shut my mouth. And that brought me into a lot of trouble but I noticed also that I had a high sense of justice and that I don't like to say yes when everybody's saying yes, but I don't agree with it. Just to go with the masses.
Alexandra Stark [00:06:18]:
I learned that from I I learned and then, of course, now I know that's my badass. But as a kid, you don't know what is a badass. So you always you for a while, I thought there was something wrong with me because everybody is, like, a good girl and and doing good things and I'm I'm different.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:36]:
So did you learn that though? And thank you for sharing. But was that trait something that was encouraged by your parents? Did you learn to ask questions because you your parents, you know, told you to and encouraged it? Or maybe you watched somebody close to you do that? Where did that come from? Because to your point, you know, most of us just do what we're told because we don't wanna get in trouble. Right? I don't wanna spanking. I don't wanna get a licking. I don't wanna get yelled at.
Alexandra Stark [00:06:59]:
I got yelled at and spanked. Yeah. Me too. I no. I don't know. My parents are very busy. So, basically, I grew up with a nanny.
Mahara Wayman [00:07:10]:
Okay.
Alexandra Stark [00:07:11]:
So and, yes, they encouraged me to ask questions, but they didn't always have the patience to answer all those questions. So many times I was left with a, you know, on a loop like, okay. But I would I read a lot of books. I mean, I read so many books like 2, 3 books a week. I would close myself on a room when I was not outside with the horses and read and read and read and read and read. And it was like for me going in a fantasy world and and having adventures and and being the, yeah, the hero of the story in conquering things. So I I always had this adventurous side and always felt like I wanna travel and see the world and have adventures. And I love movies like Indiana Jones and James Bond, you know.
Alexandra Stark [00:07:57]:
I was left and I wanted to be a spy when I grew up or or like an traveling archaeologist like Indiana Jones. That was my goal.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:06]:
Oh, good. So it's interesting because I had a guest previously that and and we talked about the connection between imagination and badassery. And then what I'm hearing is something very similar with you is that you love to read and you had an imagination, which often comes from reading. So if you wanna be badass, there's lots of things you can do, but really giving yourself permission to dream and to imagine and to question is a great start, just in case anybody listening is wondering. And by the way, I grew up with James Bond as well. I'm not a child of the eighties. I'm a child of the seventies, and I'm from Jamaica. And my uncles my uncle one uncle in particular was an extra in a James Bond movie.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:50]:
And there were because quite a few movies were filmed in Jamaica.
Alexandra Stark [00:08:53]:
Yes. Like, total The very old ones, the good ones.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:56]:
Oh, the very good ones. So I can appreciate I can appreciate your love of Bond and and Indiana Jones. Okay. So you have had a a childhood that was filled with badassery and excitement and and and questioning. Where did you go next as a young adult?
Alexandra Stark [00:09:14]:
Well, when I, finished high school, I had the choice to either go back to Germany or to study in Spain. And as I am German, but I've basically never seen my hometown. I thought, okay. Let's go to Dusseldorf. That's where I still live today. And let's study economics. I didn't know what to do. So I thought, you know, my dad said, study economics.
Alexandra Stark [00:09:37]:
That's a good foundation for whatever you wanna do next. I had no idea what I wanted to do next so I studied economics. And I didn't really like it that much. It kind of bored me a little bit. But okay. I finished it and then I started my first job in a big, company that has nursing homes and assisted living. And I was in the marketing department. So I, I found out that I like marketing and PR, which is more compelling to me than anything else that has to do with numbers and, you know, I'm more like a right brained person.
Alexandra Stark [00:10:12]:
I like languages and anything that is that involves creativity. This is my thing. Had has always been.
Mahara Wayman [00:10:21]:
Okay. Alright. So that timeline in your life, were was there any big moments of learning there?
Alexandra Stark [00:10:31]:
You mean the university?
Mahara Wayman [00:10:32]:
Yeah. Other than, hey. I really I don't like the numbers aspect so much. I'm much more into my creativity. Was there anything else that that you think has shaped you into the woman you are today?
Alexandra Stark [00:10:42]:
Yeah. I I took a little break during the studies, and I did a marketing diploma program in Berkeley. And I left the international campus and people from all over the world. And I I realized that it's really advantage to speak several languages because I could communicate with a lot of people. And I love talking in different language. I think I never talked the whole day once in German. I was never hanging around with the Germans because they they were so boring for me. So I was hanging around with the Latinos.
Alexandra Stark [00:11:15]:
And then I realized also because my my neighbor who lived on the same floor in the Berkeley campus, he was Canadian. And when I was there for 1 week, he once came to me and said, Alexandra, I don't know what you're doing, but you're here for a week and you know everybody. I'm here, like, for 6 months. You know more people than me. What's going on here? I was invited to every party. And I was like, okay. I'm a people magnet. I'm a networker.
Alexandra Stark [00:11:40]:
I love to talk to people. I love to I'm interested in people. I I connect with people very easily. And you sent me somewhere. And in one day, I know everyone. So I noticed, okay, that is definitely a gift. But for me, it was always normal to be like this unless somebody tells you that it's not. I think that's so typical for us that you have certain gifts and talents and skills but for you, it's just normal because that's just who you are.
Alexandra Stark [00:12:08]:
And then just everybody tells you, no. That's not normal. I'm not like this. I'm an introvert. I don't I don't go out and meet a lot of people or I connect with people so fast like you do. And then you notice, oh, okay. I guess it's gift. So this is what I noticed when I was abroad and, that I love to travel and connect with international people.
Alexandra Stark [00:12:27]:
I think That was a big help.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:29]:
Thank you for sharing that. And, you know, I think one of the things from my experience anyway that helps me to feel badass is understanding and connecting with what I'm best at. Yes. And I think for many of us, we have this under we we have this misunderstanding that only big, huge, magnificent accomplishments or big, huge, magnificent talents are worthy of being badass. But I'm here to tell you that's just not true. Just being yourself, I guess, being badass. So to your point, we all have different talents. It sounds like you recognize that early on, though, and just ran with it, which is very fortunate.
Mahara Wayman [00:13:12]:
So okay. Beautiful. Take us a little bit. Then you switched gears a little bit, and now you're running this amazing business for yourself. What made you decide to do that?
Alexandra Stark [00:13:23]:
Oh, that was a long journey. So when I was an employee, I was basically happy with what I was doing. Although I noticed that I'm not happy having someone telling me what to do. Like in school, you know, it was like and my boss was very kind of bossy and very egoistic. So everything we work together, he would always say that it was his thing. So he got all the credits and everything that I did was always what we did. So it was never about me. And I didn't care so much because I I didn't need the validation.
Alexandra Stark [00:13:56]:
I thought so. But, of course, it's nice to have validation. When you never get validation, you feel underappreciated. And I felt underappreciated in the company because I felt not seen, although I did all the work behind the scenes. But then one day, the company was sold and the new owners, they fired everybody and brought in their own people. So then I was, like, standing there and, like, okay. Now what? So the good thing is, as I've stayed there more than 10 years, I got a good compensation. And then my brother told me he just finished, NLP practitioner.
Alexandra Stark [00:14:32]:
And he told me, why don't you do the NLP neurolinguistic programming, a course? Because there, it's it's a 1 year and you will learn so much about yourself, who you are and what you want and all these kind of things. And I was like, okay. Good. Because I had no plan, no idea what I wanted to do next. I was very, burned out a little bit. Also, the job was tough and I I even had a burnout. So I skipped the part when my dad died and I had to take on the job of my boss because he was fired. I had no time to grieve.
Alexandra Stark [00:15:03]:
And I hustled and hustled and hustled until I was burned out, and then the company was sold. So I was burned out and had a compensation, and I didn't know what to do with my life. And I did NLP, and that really helped me to go inside and ask myself questions that I've never asked myself and to confront myself with things that I've never contemplated about. And over this year, I there was a little vision coming up what I wanted to do with my life, but it was just like a little seed that had to grow and expand. And it took me years to figure out what I really wanted to do. But it all starts with an idea and to have the courage to do the first steps. And then along the way, you figure out, you know, and you refine and you stretch and you expand. I did so many other coachings after that.
Alexandra Stark [00:15:53]:
I got addicted to personal development when I started in 2012. I did this course and I was like, holy moly. This is so cool. I learned so much about myself. This is nothing I ever learned at school or in university. Nobody ever teach me. I always hated to to be in university and school because the teachers were so stupid and they wouldn't answer my questions. And here, I actually learn the things I wanna learn and that I'm interested in and I got so hungry for more wisdom.
Alexandra Stark [00:16:21]:
So I did so many coaching certificates, like, countless. I could tell I could tell you, like, 12 things that I did. I mean, it's crazy. And I always had the feeling the more I learned, the not the more I know that I don't know anything. And I continued learning and growing and I had so much fun. And then this idea of coaching people, but not just from the inside, also making them look good on the outside as a holistic approach that grew, and then it came into fruition after years. But it took me a long time. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:16:53]:
So much there that is that is fun. But can we go back to when you sort of hit rock bottom and had that burnout? And that was the start of your introspection, shall we say, in Yeah. Self discovery. But during that burnout time, how did you can you just share with us what you how you made it? How you how you came out on the other end? Because I think, you know, up until that point in the story, you've been you know, your energy's high. Life is good. You know, you do what you want. You speak lots of languages. You travel.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:28]:
You're you know, you've got this very positive life, then, you know, the crap happened.
Alexandra Stark [00:17:34]:
And Yeah. Piled And not only one time.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:36]:
Yeah. No. It kinda piled on on top of each other, which is very I don't wanna say normal, but that's life. Right? Life is never a fairy tale all the way through. So if you wouldn't mind just share a little bit with us on how you navigated the tough, tough times even though you ended up being burnt out. There must what what was it that held you through that that difficult period?
Alexandra Stark [00:17:58]:
So navigating through that difficult period was difficult because it was before I started my personal development journey. And I had no idea how to handle emotions and how to process emotions. And I felt like I was totally alone because I had this, tinnitus coming in, you know, the ear sounds on both ears. And it was so loud. And it was there from one day to the other, and it wouldn't go away. I still have it today. And can you imagine, like, having sounds in your ears 24 hours a day and you can never chill, you can never relax, it's always loud. I was going crazy.
Alexandra Stark [00:18:35]:
I was really about to jump from the balcony and I I was so bad. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I was going crazy. And my doctor, he sent me to a clinic for 3 weeks. Expanded for 5. And they did all kinds of crazy things like giving you injections. It was called cortisone, which didn't bring anything.
Alexandra Stark [00:18:54]:
And then they had this deep compression sickness thing where they put you in for a couple of hours a day. All kinds of thing. Nothing really helped. But what I what they did good is, like, long walks in the in the woods and also, muscle relaxation therapy and kinds of meditation, which of course is difficult because when you have sound, you're like, how can I calm down? So I was always sitting there with one eye open like, what the I can't I cannot do. So learning how to relax, took me quite a while. But, I had to learn to live with it because it was it didn't go away until today. And whatever I tried, nothing helped, so I had to kind of live with it.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:37]:
Okay. I wanna jump in and say, first of all, I know exactly what you're talking about because I too have severe tinnitus in both ears. Still Wow. And I remember traveling with my husband, and we were in New Orleans. And we were walking down the street and passed we were walking up to a huge transformer, and it was buzzing really loudly. And I went, oh. And I said, honey, you hear that? And he's like, yeah. And I'm like, I hear that every day, 247.
Mahara Wayman [00:20:07]:
That's what life is like. And it you know, I don't like to be it drives my family nuts because I always have air plugs in because I always wanna listen to music or a book just to break the the pressure of listening to the buzz. So I just wanna I totally understand where you're coming from. So you it was tough to navigate the burnout, and it was, of course, before your journey into self into, you know, your growth. But was there one was there one thought that really held you through that time or one deep knowing that held you through that time?
Alexandra Stark [00:20:46]:
I think one day, I just when I was doing when I was going for a walk in the woods and I saw something beautiful, and for a moment, I forgot the tinnitus. And then I realized, okay, when I focus on it, it becomes worse. When I distract myself with beautiful things and I lose the focus on it, it it it feels better. And I like, you know, you focus on shit, shit grows. Right? We know that now. But back then I didn't know. So but I realized when I folk when I listen to it, it gets worse. But when I distract myself, when I put my attention on other things, then I I have to learn how to live with it.
Alexandra Stark [00:21:28]:
And I don't want to give it the power to take my joy of life away. So I tried everything to distract myself with beautiful things and to not give it that much attention, which is easy said. But it's a daily practice. And some days, it works better than others. But, yeah, not give it too much attention and focus so that so it doesn't have too much power over me because I am not my tinnitus. This is just something happening. And, also, I learned along the way something happens for a reason. And, of course, some things you don't know the reason.
Alexandra Stark [00:22:04]:
Right? Because especially when it when it's around illnesses or sickness or something really bad, Where is the purpose on this? But there is one. There is one. If you don't know now, you will find out later. So I trusted in that somehow too.
Mahara Wayman [00:22:18]:
So so good. And, again, another component of being badass is being willing to ask that question. Okay. What am I gonna what can I what could I possibly learn out of this shitty situation? Yeah. Seriously. And when we do that, quite often, we do get an answer from deep within. And sometimes it's, you know, for me, personally, it's my need to be patient, my need to let go, you know, this this idea that I have to be right, especially when it comes to my own business. That's definitely that I've learned that I'm working on.
Mahara Wayman [00:22:52]:
But there's always there's always a reason behind what we feel life has thrown at us. And I think I've mentioned I've talked about this many times is this understanding that life happens for us, doesn't happen to us. And when I first heard that phrase, I was like, you guys are so wackadoodle. I can't even wrap my head around you people. I was in a group coaching session group coaching experience, I think. But then very quickly when I sort of let let down my guards, I was like, okay. That's an interesting concept. And, really, when you can switch your mindset on something, switch the lens at which you look at a situation, it often becomes quite fun.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:29]:
You know, when we allow ourselves that childhood curiosity, then it's not then our hardships sometimes can just lighten a little bit. I'm not talking drama or trauma or any of that stuff. I'm just talking day to day crap. Like, oh my god. Why did that person flip me the bird? I don't even know them as I'm driving down the street. Or why does that person piss me off so much? I don't even know them, but they just have to look at me and I lose my you know? So anyway Mhmm. Yes.
Alexandra Stark [00:23:57]:
I know what you mean.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:59]:
Absolutely. Life happens for us as opposed to to us. I do I do wanna call out, and I think it's just beautiful and interesting that you recognize first of all, you've always recognized beauty and been drawn to the things that make you raise your energy and make you feel good. But when you were your lowest, you made a conscious decision to focus on the beautiful things to help you pull up your energy and not focus on what wasn't working and how yeah. So it's just interesting that that started then, and now look at what you do for a living. And Yeah. So just just wanted to call that out in case some of our listeners didn't catch the connection there, but so so good. Okay.
Mahara Wayman [00:24:37]:
Take us to today. What do you think? Wanna know? I wanna know. Here's what I wanna know. All smarty pants making me making me think on the spot. Just so you know, folks, I am it's pretty obvious that my podcasts are definitely fly by the seat of your pants. I just wanna have a casual conversation, and so I never really know where they're gonna go. And when I mentioned that to her before I started recording, she's like, we're just gonna talk? I'm like, just gonna talk. We'll see where
Alexandra Stark [00:25:03]:
it
Mahara Wayman [00:25:03]:
goes. But what I would love to know today is what lesson are you still working on? I don't wanna struggling with because struggling that I don't wanna put ideas into your head. But as a past entrepreneur and business owner, I speak from experience. The work is never done. The work on my is never done. So I'm curious. What badass component are you working on?
Alexandra Stark [00:25:28]:
Many things. I think the most important skill that I always found to be something to work on daily is leadership especially self leadership. So leading yourself through difficult situations, having self responsibility. This is a big one because I tend to give everybody else, you know, the the reason why things didn't work out, external things. And to learn that it's personal power that it has to with myself and I have to find the thing in me and not finding the reasons outside of me, a car excuses, is still a a big learning. And whatever something is happening, being radical honest with yourself, don't lie to yourself and being self responsible for everything you do and you think. It starts with thinking and then with doing. Yeah.
Alexandra Stark [00:26:23]:
That's a daily practice, I would say. And, of course, taming the little voices, it's
Mahara Wayman [00:26:29]:
part
Alexandra Stark [00:26:29]:
of that self leadership. Basically, everything we might work on every day falls under self leadership.
Mahara Wayman [00:26:38]:
So when you say self leadership, connection with this concept of radical responsibility?
Alexandra Stark [00:26:44]:
Yes. It's about not giving away your power, not letting anyone else pulling the power away from you and also embracing the ups and downs in in life. Learning to embrace the challenges, learning from them, extracting the lessons, and using them for the highest good of all. That's why when you say finding the good and the and the good and the and the bad, it's like I I always say I say the hard words, I find gold in the shit. And today, my mindset is, like, bring me more shit because I learn so much from the shit. And I find the gold nuggets and I use it. And it's lessons for my for myself or for my student is if life is too smooth, it's boring. If you want a badass life, you have to be willing to to have badass challenges because that that's when you can show leadership.
Alexandra Stark [00:27:34]:
When when you are when life is easy, everybody says they're a great leader. But when life is easy, it's easy to be a good leader. But who are you when shit hits the fan? Then self leadership comes up. And then you have to show who are you behind the scenes when nobody's watching.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:52]:
Absolutely.
Alexandra Stark [00:27:52]:
On social media, every everybody looks like a pretty
Mahara Wayman [00:27:55]:
Oh, don't even go there.
Alexandra Stark [00:27:56]:
Badass leader. But I know so many people that behind the scenes, nothing is embodied. It's just faking and pretending. And this for me is I can smell that basically today. I have a very good sensor for for that kind of energy that I call bad perfume. So when somebody has stinky perfume, it's because they're not embodied.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:18]:
Oh my god. You're hilarious. I wanna go back to something you said earlier, though, which was about sort of recognizing your power and, you know Yes. Owning your power. Would you say then part of the challenge that women entrepreneurs in particular, we're both entrepreneurs, have on this journey is an inability to recognize their own power. Because if you're if you don't see your own power, it's hard to feel badass. Right? I wanna bring anything back to the reason to the the reason for the show. So what are some ways that that you think we can tap into our own power if we are questioning whether or not we even have any?
Alexandra Stark [00:29:02]:
I mean, it sounds so easy when we talk about radical self love. You know? But this is something that is the foundation of everything. And every coaching that I'm doing with clients, it's it's always a self love issue. And because everything that we, especially women, because I walk, I work with women only. So everything that women have been taught along the way and you know that, is to hide and suppress as a child. You know? All the don't do this. Don't do that. Don't be too loud.
Alexandra Stark [00:29:31]:
Hello, me in school. Don't be too loud. Don't ask too many questions. Don't be this. Don't do that. So we have been suppressed for so long so that growing up and faking it and and wearing a mask could come in an unreal version of ourselves and and being this washed out, numb, good girl version of ourselves and and pacifying everything that makes us feel alive. This is how we grow up. And then it's so hard then as an entrepreneur to suddenly, having radical self love, like, from nothing and embracing your wildfire and your wholeness and all of this.
Alexandra Stark [00:30:08]:
This is something you have to learn along the way. And this starts with really owning who you are, finding out what your uniqueness is, and also embracing your your weirdness. I tell you, your beautiful weirdness, your and many women don't know what that is. So what what kind of my superpower is I find your weirdness. I find you daringly different. I find what makes you unique. And together, we unleash that and and we package that and we communicate that because this is your USP. So many women struggle with what makes me unique.
Alexandra Stark [00:30:43]:
I don't know. What is my what is my bad as what what sets me apart from everybody else? This is you can ask 10 people what what makes you unique. What what do you do differently than others? And everybody would be either thinking about it for 10 minutes or not having anything to reply. Nobody can say, like, in a second what makes me uniqueness. Why why am I so different than everybody else? Because we are so we have been censoring ourselves, faking it, and giving away the power of playing small. So learning to to be everything that we were not allowed to be as a kids takes time. And we don't learn that in school and we don't learn that in university. So it's a journey.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:24]:
I really liked how you phrased that and and was very, very realistic. It is a journey because not only do we need to unlearn so many things in our lives depending on how many and that could be years. For me, it was over 50 years.
Alexandra Stark [00:31:37]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:38]:
Not only do we have to unlearn things, but we have to have the courage to just get to know ourselves. And that's I talked about being curious earlier. You know, clarity is everything, and getting curious about who you really are, I think, is the first step to to own in it. And recognizing that it's not about good emotions, good feelings, bad feelings, it's just about seeing the reality of it because nothing that we've done makes us bad until we think so, Right? Nothing is is bad or gross or disgusting or anything until we attach that label to it. And that's not an easy process. Honestly, if it were easy, you know, we would everybody the world would be Nirvana and we you know, there'd be no upset, no disagreements, no wars, no nothing. Obviously not the world that we live in. So being a badass isn't always easy.
Mahara Wayman [00:32:24]:
Being radically responsible for every step you make in your life isn't always easy. And and showing some love for yourself isn't always easy. But it is part of the journey to being a happier person, I think, and it sounds like you think the same way.
Alexandra Stark [00:32:39]:
So what
Mahara Wayman [00:32:39]:
are a couple things that you would like to share as tips for feeling badass on a daily basis or just feeling beautiful?
Alexandra Stark [00:32:48]:
Well, it starts with embracing your flaws or the things that you think are flaws or that people might tell you are flaws because this is what makes you special. And it's about rediscovering yourself every day and and and finding out who you are, being curious, asking questions, being unapologetically you and not attaching any limits. You know? I don't know. Not trying to be perfect. I mean, perfectionism is something that hold me back a long time. This is a big one. But the only thing that perfectionism leads to is procrastination and you you feeling stuck. Because you feel I can't do this because this is not perfect.
Alexandra Stark [00:33:30]:
This is not perfect. But what is perfect? Nothing is perfect. Perfect perfection is an illusion and it's boring. No bad ass woman is perfect. Perfection is boring. So just do one move everyday perfectly unperfect. Embrace it. And when you fall flat on your face, go up and try it again.
Alexandra Stark [00:33:51]:
Learn, extract the lessons, use them, grow, and go on. And this is what brings confidence along the way. And the more you fall on your face, the better because the more lessons you can have. And with more lessons, you you can expand and and grow and become better. So embrace doing mistakes, which are not mistakes. And I don't call it failing. I say, falling forward. And it's a totally game changer.
Alexandra Stark [00:34:21]:
And, yeah, just stop talking yourself out of things, being in your head too much overthinking. Listen to your heart. Listen what your spirit really wants. Because most of the time also listen to your body. This is also a good one. What I had what I really had to learn, I was so in my head many years. I really had to learn to connect to my body and to my intuition. And I'm a, I'm a sacral authority in human design.
Alexandra Stark [00:34:47]:
So it's either a hell yes or a no. There is nothing in between. And I have to listen to myself. So when I saw The Art of Badassery, for example, I saw I don't even remember where I saw The Art of Badassery. I was like, what a cool title. Let's apply. So that was like an instinct, hell yes for me. So I don't even do a research or let's see what she's doing, blah, blah, blah.
Alexandra Stark [00:35:10]:
It just aligned with me and I just go and do it. So learning to listen to your body because your body always knows first. Your body knows before your mind comes in. Mind comes in and wants to talk you out of it. So don't listen to the mind.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:24]:
Oh, so good. Oh my goodness. How many things that you brought up? Not the least of which was to trust your intuition, trust your gut, and recognize that your body holds all the answers. Yes. So and there's a whole practice of recognizing that if you want answers, look to your body. But we're not gonna go down there. That's not my expertise, but I definitely understand that that idea. And I think the reason I talk Louise Hay comes up in many of my podcasts because she it was the first book that I read on that was in by any way out there.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:00]:
And her book, you can heal your life, but going back back 40 years was, like, I think one of the her biggest books. And I was like, what? You can heal your life by your thoughts? It was the beginning of of my journey was that book. So if you you haven't read it, folks, check it out. Louise, hey. You can heal your life. She talks about how ailments in different parts of the body, our ailments are a reflection of our thoughts and our life. So very interesting read. Alexandra, I have loved chatting with you.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:32]:
Folks, check the show notes because whatever she's given me, I will make sure in the show notes. I would love you to connect with her. If you feel that you would love her expertise in helping you build your brand so that your beauty shines on the outside as well as on the inside and have it connect to your actual business, then this is this is the podcast for you. Anything last minute thoughts before we sign off, Alexandra?
Alexandra Stark [00:36:57]:
I don't know. I mean, just believe in yourself because when you believe in yourself and you're confident and proudly owning your power, then you become just a magnetic field for people around you and for the right people, hopefully. Because it can go in both directions. So it's about really time to reclaim your power and own your worthiness with no strings attached. And this is the moment when you leave the ordinary and you step into what I call daringly different.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:33]:
So beautiful. Thank you so much for spending time with us today. Folks, have an amazing week, and look forward to seeing you next week on the art of badassery. My name is Mahara. Thank you. Thanks for tuning in to another badass episode. Your support means the world to me. So if you enjoyed what you heard today, don't forget to like, share, and rate the episode on your favorite podcast platform.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:58]:
Your feedback keeps the badassery flowing. And, hey, if you're ready to unleash your inner badass and conquer whatever life throws your way, Why not book a complimentary badass breakthrough session? Just click the link in the show notes to schedule your session, and let's kick some serious butt together. Until next time, stay fearless, stay fabulous, and of course, stay badass. This is Mahara signing off.
