Mahara Wayman [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of badassery where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms. Break free from the status quo and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host Mahara Wayman and each week I dive into the stories, insights, and strategies of those who've mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is looking. Welcome to the art of badassery, everyone. I'm so excited because on today's episode, I'm gonna introduce you to Beth Jones, an empowered survivor, healing mentor, author, and former corporate executive. Beth's journey from investigating fraud and white collar crime across the globe to writing her upcoming book, Becoming an Empowered Survivor, is so inspiring.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:05]:
She is passionate about helping survivors of trauma heal and thrive. So join us today as we do a deep dive on her story, her work with the empowered survivors community, and her powerful message to hope, evolve, and love. She is badass peeps. Let's hear all about it. Beth, welcome.
Beth Jones [00:01:26]:
Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be
Mahara Wayman [00:01:28]:
here with you today. Off I open the show by saying, hey, guys, why are you so badass?
Beth Jones [00:01:34]:
Yeah. Why am I so badass? You know, it's it's something that I've experienced a couple of times in my life, and I've actually had that word used to describe me. I think for me, it's about perseverance and getting it done no matter what. So, I'm a natural born problem solver, and that leads me to just get it done no matter what the problem is, whether it's a problem I faced at work or my own personal problem when I had to when I had to go through my healing journey, which was something I had to persevere through for quite a while. The funny thing with me about the concept of being a badass is that, I am and I know that I have been in my professional life and I am personally, but I have suffered from an inner critic that has told me something very, very different in my past, which has been an interesting thing, to live through. I sort of describe it sometimes as an out of body experience where I can look over and see the person that people are talking about when they say that, hey. You're a badass, but then I'm like, really? Me? I'm just a humble, simple girl who's very complex and dynamic, but, it's an interesting an
Mahara Wayman [00:02:45]:
interesting place to be to, have done the things that I've
Beth Jones [00:02:45]:
done and accomplish what I've done. Have done the things that I've done and accomplish what I've done while often feeling like, I wasn't quite capable because of my own inner critic.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:56]:
Well, here's the thing. And I'm so glad that you brought it up right at the get go because a lot of face that. Me also. Yeah. And part of I think part of being badass is recognizing that first of all, we're human. Yeah. And that in itself means, I think, that we can have both ends of the spec we can have both. Right? It is so possible to be badass in some areas and frightened as all hell in the others.
Beth Jones [00:03:24]:
Oh, yeah. For sure.
Mahara Wayman [00:03:26]:
But I'm curious. You said something earlier. First words out of your mouth, perseverance. Yeah. Did you learn that? I did you grow up in a family that that you saw persevered or have a friend that taught you to persevere? Or is this something that was innate and you maybe just came into this world with that because you knew you needed it?
Beth Jones [00:03:49]:
So I did use the word perseverance, and I know that's what I do, just to push through and get it done no matter what. I think the innate quality in me, though, that creates that perseverance is that I'm a natural born problem solver. And I truly believe that there is no problem that I encounter that is not something that I can overcome in some way. And I've had plenty of challenge and problem in my life that I've had to overcome, and I've just pushed through every single one of them. It's actually I'm pausing a minute that I used that word, and you asked me, like, did I observe that at any time in my life is basically what you just asked me. I, I was in a long marriage for 30 years, with someone who has tattooed on one of his forearms the word perseverance. And so I was like, wow. Is that where that came from? Right? So that that, that notion of persevering, you know, so he he is you know, he's someone who I would say has persevered through his life.
Beth Jones [00:04:49]:
He's also a survivor of trauma and abuse like me, different from mine, but he has had his own that he survived through, and he's had to persevere through his life trying to overcome his challenges. So maybe I did observe it, but I do know innately it comes back to me being a natural born problem solver.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:06]:
So here's my thoughts around or so what's coming up when you talk about the word perseverance and problem solving. I almost don't I see them as being 2 separate things, like, because perseverance is you just hang in, like, you're you're persevering. And that's my connotation, right, from my experience.
Beth Jones [00:05:26]:
That's interesting. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:28]:
Versus problem solving is persevering is not good enough anymore. I'm gonna figure that. So I'm just wondering if there's any sort of, how that resonates with you because that's how I'm hearing it is. Okay. I can persevere. But are you persevering and coming out better and stronger?
Beth Jones [00:05:45]:
Pushing through. Pushing through to a better outcome. Yeah. Solving the problem, overcoming the problem and coming out in a better place. Yes. So I think about perseverance is like, like the grit to push through, right, when things are really tough and challenging. That's how I think about it. K.
Beth Jones [00:06:00]:
So here's
Mahara Wayman [00:06:01]:
my next question. And some of the listeners are probably chuckling going, oh, Mahara, you're so into language. I am into language because I've shown the perfect example of how easy it is to have make assumptions. Right? Even you and I both speak English, we both know what the word persevere means. It has a slightly different connotation for me based on my life experiences and the lens I currently have. Yep. You mentioned twice, 3 times now, push through. I just push through.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:29]:
Yep. Think back to a time when the perseverance actually encapsulated more of a gentle trusting acceptance energy versus pushing through. I'm just curious.
Beth Jones [00:06:46]:
Yeah. I don't, you know, I don't when I think about persevering and pushing through it, don't think about it as I mean, it is challenging getting through it. You know, and I mean, and there have been times in my life when things have been not quite as challenging when I'm just persevering. I guess maybe the way that you think about it just getting through and probably what I would say about that is what I call surviving, just surviving in my life. So times in my life when just sort of like, this is what I've got, trying to accept it. But I think for me, for a long time, there was sort of an an inner knowing that just accepting and just persevering maybe the way you think about it wasn't really okay for me and something, needed to change. Right? So, I've had many times in my life where I'm like, here, this is where I am and, you know, but I think getting to that place of full acceptance in the past, probably not ever a place that I really got to. Now, yes.
Beth Jones [00:07:50]:
But, in the past, no. I don't think so.
Mahara Wayman [00:07:54]:
So what do you think has made the biggest difference in your ability to accept?
Beth Jones [00:08:00]:
The biggest difference for me is that I'm healed. So I had the opportunity, about 4 years ago to to meet myself head on as a victim and as a survivor and somebody who decided that I didn't wanna live my life as a survivor anymore when I recognized that that's what I was doing and not in some great ways. Some of the things that I was living with and the way that I coped is the word that people will use weren't great. And I didn't wanna live that way anymore once I understood how and why I was living like that. And I committed to myself and went on a very focused and intentional healing journey to deal with it. And that's when I found grace for an acceptance of myself and the human being who I am, and who I meant to be, my life's purpose, by the way. I finally discovered it and and can accept it completely. But it wasn't until I've gone through that process to come to terms with the reality of what my life had been before I had the opportunity to heal.
Beth Jones [00:09:06]:
That's probably why I didn't feel that in that place of acceptance that I feel now very much in in a place of acceptance.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:13]:
Fair enough. Fair enough. You know, it's funny. The word grace has been coming up a lot for my client lately.
Beth Jones [00:09:20]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:21]:
Because as you know, I'm a coach as well. Yeah. But and it's and it's you've mentioned it as well here. So can you recall before this this time of growth? Let's go further further back. Sure. Did grace was that a part of your your makeup or part of your life all those years ago when you were struggling?
Beth Jones [00:09:45]:
Why I think I think back then, you know, this goes back to where I started this with the whole notion of of inner critic and along with that, my inner critic would create this imposter syndrome of myself. Right? And so, you know, when I talk about that, about literally having out of body experiences where I could look over and see the person that people were engaging with or that they believed me to be in some cases, the person who I was making myself believe that I was, wasn't really me. Right? So I don't know I don't know that I was ever really in that place going way back, where I would say that I had, you know, grace for an acceptance of myself. You know, I don't I I also would have to say though back then, you know, I I was living a life where I it's interesting because I I had no vocabulary to describe myself as a victim and a survivor, and I didn't I knew what I had been through in terms of the trauma and abuse. Most of it I knew, sort of sat in the back of my mind, but I couldn't even put the proper words to it. So, you know, I'll give you an example. So I was sexually abused when I was 5 by my grandfather. And I used to tell people that he touched me inappropriately, and it took me going through a healing process and meeting my survivorship head on to go, oh, that's why that's like life.
Beth Jones [00:11:08]:
That's why I that's why I do x, y, or z and to be able to call it what it actually was. Right? So I wasn't even in that place. I really where I even knew who I was. Right? And I I had a, you know, the the the good fortune for me to have a life altering event that brought all of this to the forefront for me, and and put me as my gateway to healing is what I tell people the event was. Right? And that was really the moment that the universe, God said, it's time for you to figure all this out and understand it. That's really when it started to come forward, the grace the grace for an acceptance of myself. Actually, I talk a lot about this, when I talk to people about healing because it's an important concept, I think, for those of us who need to go through a healing process. So my journey, was first learning to have that grace for an acceptance of myself as a survivor and a lot of that came from reading.
Beth Jones [00:12:04]:
So I had an insatiable thirst for knowledge about survivorship and what it looked like when I was going through the the intents and focused part of my journey. And I was reading these books, and I was like, that's me. That's me. That's me. That's me. But also what would happen if you look at those books now, a lot of notes in the books, me me me me me, but you also see mom, dad, my ex husband, people who had intersected with my life who had hurt me, my grandfather. Right? So those notes about those people and survivorship traits that I could see in them, were in these books at so were mine. And I went through a process where I was like, oh, well, if I'm behaving this way because I'm a survivor, that's happening to them too.
Beth Jones [00:12:45]:
They're also survivors and they're behaving the way they're behaving and treating me the way they're treating me because they are survivors. And it was a natural process where I had grace for an acceptance of myself, what some people would call forgiveness of self, and that is a concept that I call mirroring because if I could see myself that way then I could suddenly see them that way as well. And that really helped me with the process, what I call letting go. So the emotions, that were stuck to me with respect to those people who had hurt me, that's the process that I went through to let go. So that grace and acceptance is something that, I suppose in my at my age is a relatively new concept for me to really grab on to, that I've, you know, lived with in recent years and not really in my past.
Mahara Wayman [00:13:30]:
Well, you're not alone. Yeah. I don't think I knew the word grace existed until I started doing this work. And I'm like, grace? Like, say grace? What are you talking about?
Beth Jones [00:13:40]:
Yeah. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:13:43]:
I do wanna go back to something you said earlier, which was you didn't have the language. I also mentioned earlier that I'm all about the language. And I know from my experience, you know, when I started to get into my personal journey of growth more recently actually, I began to get really excited about language again because I'm like, oh, you mean I'm not just pissed off? You mean I can be I can be disappoint I'm I'm feeling am I feeling disappointment? Am I feeling there? Am I feeling embarrassment? And I covered my love of love of language through doing this type of work. So I'm curious, you know, what do you feel about that? And do you do you remember when you began to sort of embrace the opportunity to be more articulate with your feelings?
Beth Jones [00:14:30]:
Yes. Yes. Because for me, and I describe it as what I call a universe touch. So the hand of God reaching down and touching me saying, let me enlighten you. And so for me, it was like this massive awakening, you know, because, you know, and it's interesting when I when I go back and look at the way that I, you know, talked about how I described my interaction with my grandfather and that abuse in the past. But, you know, I suffer from, just another example I'll give you. So I suffer from dissociation. And, it's been referred to as dissociative amnesia with me, but I think it's actually more that I just don't record when I'm in a traumatic or abusive event.
Beth Jones [00:15:09]:
I I'm just not recording what's happening to me. And I understand that now, and I understand that that is relatively common and so common that there are terms out there, really smart people who study us, write about this and say, this is what you're suffering from. This is what's happening to, and this is the label for it. In the past, before I had the word, I would engage in conversation. So I would want to explore with you my curiosity about your brain and how your memory works. And I would really be very curious in my conversation with you. Like, I would wanna know literally, like, what is in your head when you're recalling a memory? Like, are you playing a memory, or are you looking at photographs? Are you, like, literally moving into the moment right now in your mind? Because I had no I had none of that. Right? I have no idea how that works for people.
Beth Jones [00:15:59]:
And in many cases, I still you know, it's better now, but in some cases, I still don't have that. Right? And that's how I would talk about this lack of memory that I have. I don't remember most of my life, and I really wanna understand how you remember yours. And then some so that I mean, and that was probably, I don't know, 15 or 20 years of engaging in conversation like that. And then suddenly, I read this book that has these words, and it I mean, it actually started with a really good friend of mine when I was describing this to her one day. She was like, I that's dissociation. She's like, that's not normal. That's probably the result of trauma.
Beth Jones [00:16:34]:
You need help. You're sick. Go see a therapist. All that kind of stuff, which was great advice from her that I really needed. But it sent me down this path of really oh, I was like, oh, wow. Really? Me? And so I now am in a discovery phase, and I need this knowledge. And so for me to have those words and to get that, suddenly I'm not alone, there are a lot more people like me out there and so many of us that they write about us, which I say is good and bad because you have the comfort in knowing that you're not alone, but it's horrible that this stuff happens enough that they write about what happens to us, right, and how it affects us. But for me, it literally was like the hands of God reaching down and touching me and saying, you're gonna be okay.
Beth Jones [00:17:15]:
There are I get I have cold chills all over me. I get every time I think about it because I I remember that moment. I made me a little emotional. Right? I remember him. I remember that just that feeling of there are explanations for this, and you are gonna be okay. You know? So me for me, it was, was life altering for me. Yeah. It was sorry.
Beth Jones [00:17:36]:
It was amazing, amazing experience.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:39]:
So glad you had that experience. And, you know Me too. Really put this in context because as you were as you were sharing, I'm very visual. So I I think I I see pictures all the time. And as you were I was imagining what life would be like for a toddler that whose body grows into, but the language skills don't. Yes. Frustration of not being able to navigate the world or share or connect with in a way that makes sense. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:15]:
Yeah. And so if nothing else from this episode, guys, question everything.
Beth Jones [00:18:24]:
Question everything.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:25]:
Question everything. And, you know, if you can't if you can't describe something, get curious about it. I love that you brought curiosity because I think curious we are curious by nature. Sometimes our trauma and and challenges have dampened that a bit. We just don't wanna go there because we'd have an influence that's gonna hurt. But really understand being able to articulate our fears or wishes or our joys is a really key component to being whole and, of course, being badass. So if you don't have quite the right right word, grab a dictionary or a thethaurus. I remember my mother once told me asked me if I needed a thethaurus.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:09]:
Now that I'm all grown up and I realized she was being a little facetious. Right? Tongue in cheek, but I've I've never forgotten that. I'm like, okay, smarty pants. Yeah. This argument. Yeah. So understanding that you've had some real challenges and trauma in your life. Can we just touch base for a moment? Because I was absolutely fascinated when I read the work that you did for a living.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:36]:
Yeah. Now in hindsight, we're all surprised that that's the work you went into.
Beth Jones [00:19:44]:
No. I am not. And part of that has to do with my spiritual energy and the person who I am. So, you know, doing that work, was very natural to me. I, it it also, I think, was part of part of God helping me through years of just surviving in my life, so that I could live that part of my life to tell my story. I needed my years of survivorship to be able to have a story to tell beyond just, what I've suffered from trauma and abuse because the healing part from survivorship is what my message is about and that's what I talk to people about. I think my career before
Mahara Wayman [00:20:28]:
was
Beth Jones [00:20:31]:
a place of some level of contentment that I was in that allowed me to be frankly distracted from my life. So I had a pretty significant dichotomy between my professional and my personal life. Both of them super, super busy for many, many years. But what that created was an environment where, I was suffering actually is what I call a busy holic. Right? So life was just constantly going and going and going and going. And part of that I think was to keep me in this dissociated or distracted state of waking up too soon before the universe was wanting me to wake up to go on the journey that I've been on. And obviously, you know, other things, life things, relationships, and things like that that come into why I stayed in that place for so long, well over 30 years of my life. But for 2 thirds of that 20 years, I did this amazing work, which was really, work that I enjoyed quite a lot, and I could throw myself into it.
Beth Jones [00:21:33]:
And, I was really good at it and really good at getting outcomes for my clients and leading our teams through all kind of problems and challenges, trying to figure out what somebody did to to fraud a company or steal from a company or pay a bribe, whatever it is they were doing. Right? And so it's it's, you know, it's interesting because it's work that I loved. I was really good at it. I was rewarded for the work that I did. But yet I've now left that completely behind, and I don't know that I will ever go back to it again. It's a chapter of my life that I really think is closed, but it was almost like a, it was almost like maybe almost like the float, the the buoyancy that I had through that time of my life because it was so challenging, so bumpy, particularly in my personal life and at home. But having that float of being seen, being good, being needed, that I I had that at work. And so it was, I'm I'm blessed.
Beth Jones [00:22:37]:
I'm I'm I feel very, very grateful and honored to have had that given what I was going through. Right? It was kind of the kind of the blessing to me at the time, because of what I was dealing with. So yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:22:49]:
Good. Also good. So were you a forensic a forensic account? Accountant.
Beth Jones [00:22:55]:
Yeah. I was a I was an auditor for the 1st 10 years of my career, and I was really bored doing that work because audit work is very, back then, it was very rote. They try to not make it so rote and repeat, do the same thing every year as it used to be. It still has an element of that to it. And I actually both sides of my brain engage. So I'm also I'm very analytical and logical, but I'm also very creative. So I love to paint. So I if I had my brothers, I'd spend my days in acrylics and mixed media is what I would be doing.
Beth Jones [00:23:25]:
So kind of the creative side, of my brain is very active. So getting that balance is also what I found when I was doing the forensic accounting work because it was always there was always creativity in the schemes that I was investigating, but creativity in how we're gonna figure this out. Right? And what do we need to bring together to figure it out? So it was always different, even though the underlying subject matter might have been the laws that were being implicated were the same. How you were going about doing the the investigation, what people had done, what people would say to you, and all kind of all kind of crazy things that you would find from an evidentiary standpoint. Right? So that was very interesting to me and engaged the creative side of my brain. You know, and then it was the analytical piece of it as well because was an investigation in and of itself is has an analytical component to it. So it it satisfied me, and, you know, I I think that's a good way to put it. I've actually never said it that way before, but that I think it gave me buoyancy during those 20 years of my life of my life when, you know, frankly, that that 20 years I was married for all of those 30 years.
Beth Jones [00:24:29]:
And the first 10 years was great. Somewhere in the next 20 years is where I stay in my marriage a number of years longer than I should have. And that's where a lot of this busy holic was going on, and I was separated from, my parents. I'd undertaken another one of those beautiful words I discovered with my knowledge gathering, parentectomy, and ectomy, e c t o m y, like an appendectomy or tonsillectomy parents. Right? So I had done that. But when I, exiled my parents, I exiled my exiled my entire family. And, eventually, most of my friends went with that. And so, you know, I came to this place where I had this chaotic personal life, and I was really alone and lonely.
Beth Jones [00:25:09]:
So work and the very interesting nature of that work. And by the way, I traveled a lot with that work, which I think was a bit of a flight mode for me. Right? So I was was away from home a lot, and quite often I was traveling internationally on extended trips. So, buoyancy, I think, is a good word to describe what I had through that part of my career as I was living my life. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:33]:
And, of course, you guys, if you're not watching the video, she's actually moving up and down as I am.
Beth Jones [00:25:37]:
I'm bobbing. I am. I noticed that I'm bobbing.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:41]:
Yeah. I'm curious about when you think back on the buoyancy of those of that time Yeah. How did it prepare you for where you are today?
Beth Jones [00:25:55]:
So I I think what I the parallel that I see to that is resiliency, and I know my own strength, and my own my own resiliency. I'm gonna use that push through phrase again. Right? And that really that really became front and center, when I went through the the year, after my life altering event. Going through that part of my healing journey was, it's the most painful thing that I've ever had to do. And I, you know, I'm not, you know, I'm not gonna I won't sugarcoat it and I don't for anybody that I talked to about the healing process. If you really engage in in the healing process, it sucks. It's hard. It's really challenging and painful, but it's so worth it on the other side.
Beth Jones [00:26:39]:
And that's really why I wanna inspire people to do it. Just just do the work. And I complete empathy and compassion with the challenges, and how hard it is. But I have done it, and if I can do it, so can everyone else. Right? And it's that it is that just sort of looking at head on and saying, I'm not living like this anymore. Right? And getting rid of it. Right? And so I think there was a, you know, there's a resiliency about me, that came from my life in the past that helped me as I was going through going through that process.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:13]:
Absolutely. And thank you for sharing that. Yeah. What are the number one traits that you've that you've taken from that work if different from resiliency? It may be the same, but if it's different than that, what do you think you're you've taken from that that's helping you with all of the work that you're doing today?
Beth Jones [00:27:32]:
Yeah. No. So I I mean, I I know how to I know how to get things done. I I, you know, I live in this world right now where, you know, I left I left the corporate world and the safety of the corporate world a couple of months ago, and that was about 18 months before I was ready. But I think as we all know, your higher power has different plans than what you have sometimes. Right? When you get led down a path that is in in the higher power's timing, not yours. Right? And that, happened to me. And so the universe said to me 18 months before I was ready, the universe said, you're ready.
Beth Jones [00:28:12]:
It's time to go. And, I tell people now that I you know, 2 months ago, I entered what I call the sea of unknown, and it is the sea of unknown. And I think about that because, you know, my my life in the past when I was doing investigation work, that was always the sea of unknown. I have no idea. You know, we used to call it the needle in the haystack is what we were looking for. The smoking gun, the evidence to prove x, y, or z that you thought may have occurred. And I do the same thing now. I'm in the sea of unknown, but I'm I'm led And I know that my life is divinely led and it always has been and still is.
Beth Jones [00:28:43]:
And I see that, you know, I I have so many, so many examples that I can point to of perfect timing of the steps that I've taken on my journey and my pathway unfolding before me and when I was ready to move forward and take the next step, it's been there. Right? And so it is there is an awareness. So I have an acute awareness that this is happening to me, and I think it happens to all of us. But some people don't have the open mindedness, the awareness, the ability to say, yeah, this is happening. And sometimes I think that comes from maybe being stuck in a place where we need to evolve from and do the work to evolve from that place, and that's the pressure we're getting from the universe to move us in a different direction. But we don't see that it's a step on our pathway, particularly when it's hard. Right? For me, I know, absolutely everything is is moving in perfect timing and evolving and opening up for me as it's supposed to when I trust that. So I you know, a lot of experience getting from the beginning to the end and the sea of unknown when I was working in my prior career, and now that is exactly what I'm doing again.
Beth Jones [00:29:54]:
The other thing too, I would say the creative element of it. So what I really, really love about what I'm doing right now is, like, my creative brain is just like, oh, this is so exciting because there's so many great things that we're doing and, you know, it I mean, it it's just constantly evolving. So, I mean, you'll try the the the book that's coming out. And, actually, this is the 10th. So 2 weeks from I'm sorry. 4 weeks from today, it's launching. It'll be available. But I have put that yes.
Beth Jones [00:30:20]:
It's very, very exciting. Thank you. But I've put that down because I've been told to put it down. The book is effectively done. I am in launch mode right now because I need to be in launch mode. But moving on to how does my message continue to get spread far and wide to reach the people that I'm intended to reach. It's things like this, spending time with you here on this podcast. And that evolving for me to the point where I'm not gonna say this publicly for the first time.
Beth Jones [00:30:48]:
I'm actually gonna say this. How exactly do I wanna say it? I have a podcast coming myself at a YouTube channel coming myself. I've just said that publicly for the on your show. I just committed myself publicly. Oh, wow. That's interesting. But that is the step in my journey. That's what I see as the very obvious place for me to go in continuing the work that I do.
Beth Jones [00:31:13]:
Right? And so all of that is, like, super creative. Right? There's a website that I'm creating right now. That's all that content. That's fun creating the content for that and creating, you know, various other content to engage with people who come to me and somehow will hear what I have to say. And there's a lot of writing. So, a lot of I'll do a lot of writing through blog, and I probably have more books coming in the future. So that creative side of me, is really going, which is super, super, super fun.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:46]:
Okay. First off, holy hell. I'm not sure you're excited enough, which is I just wanna I wanna congratulate you and call out the courage. Mhmm. This is the first time the words come up today so far. It's the courage that it takes to honor your dream. Sometimes the courage is you you you have displayed it many times. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:32:11]:
That's just coming from from me as an observer. But, you know, the courage to to say, I'm not gonna live this life anymore. I think it's but it also takes courage to jump into the life that you want. Right? 1st, you say this isn't I don't want I want less of this. I want you. I want less of this, and I want more of this, and I want more of that. And that does take courage. So I'm I'm so excited for you and congratulations.
Mahara Wayman [00:32:35]:
Thank you. Podcasting, blogging, social media posts, chatting with a person in line at the grocery store. You do whatever it takes to get your story out because your story matters and you matter. And I just for doing that. I'm doing the same thing, and it's it's a fun place to be.
Beth Jones [00:32:56]:
It is. What are
Mahara Wayman [00:32:57]:
you most excited about? I hear I hear the excitement around just being creative about being creative. Yeah. Is it that is fueling you so much that you are willing to say to the universe, okay. I got the message. I'll I'll leave my corporate job. Okay. I got the message. I'm gonna take the next step.
Mahara Wayman [00:33:15]:
Like, what's the carrot?
Beth Jones [00:33:16]:
That's what The carrot the carrot for me is inspiring other survivors of trauma and abuse to heal. That's really that's really what I'm after. And, you know, it's an interesting place to be right now because, you know, I have to figure out how I'm gonna make money in the future because I'm not doing that that I used to do anymore. Right? You know, and so that is part of the sea of unknown that I'm in now is trying to figure that out. And, you know, people have varying opinions about what you're doing as people do. Right? And, you know, for me, reaching the one person who needs to hear my message, which I already know that I've reached more than one person. But for me, that's why I'm doing it. That's that's the care I want.
Beth Jones [00:33:56]:
I want I want people to thrive in their life, not just survive. And I know how to do it. I've done it. I know how to get there. And and it's and I understand it's not an easy path. It's not an easy journey to take, but I know how to do it. And I want to help people to find their way through it. So for me, that is my own motivation to keep going is the the joy that I know that I can help people to create in their life once they have done a fair amount of work to heal and move past their suffering.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:31]:
Thank you. First of all, thank you for having the guts to do this work because, you know, it matters, but I'm curious how you would define the word thrive because, again, everything is subjective. You know? Yes. And I'm kinda chuckling because I did a workshop with somebody and we we titled it from surviving to from surviving to thriving. But I'd be curious to know how you define a thriving life.
Beth Jones [00:35:01]:
So I love that surviving to thriving. Actually, that's the subtitle. The book that I read that gave me terms like parenectomy and dissociative amnesia. That's the that's the subtitle of a book about complex PTSD. Right? Surviving to thriving. And it's a fantastic book, by by a guy called Pete Walker. For me, thriving thriving in my life means that I have full freedom to be who I am. So every mask that I've ever worn, and I wore them all, I took them all on myself.
Beth Jones [00:35:37]:
Right? Somebody's wife, somebody's employee, somebody's some dog's mothers. I mean, I've worn all the masks. Right? So not a mother of 2 legged children, but a lot of 4 legged and feathers and all that kind of stuff. I wore a lot of masks that people gave to me. I took them on myself and wore them, but they were masks over the person who I truly am. And so for me, thriving in my life is having that full freedom to be true to myself, who I really am and to be, well, true to myself. Right? To be very authentic. And and I mean, I, you know, I mean, I'm obviously very in the way I present.
Beth Jones [00:36:20]:
I'm gonna tell you who I am and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna sugarcoat or hide anything. Right? But it's really, it's really the taking off of those masks that were not really me. Right? They were part of my surviving and thriving for me now is coming into the person who I am in this world to be really, really being able to live my true life's purpose, knowing what it is, understanding without a doubt what my life's purpose is and now being able to live that. And for me, you know, my life's purpose included that for 45 years I had to live as a survivor enduring more trauma and abuse as a victim during those 45 years. That is was part of my purpose was to live that life, go on this amazing healing journey, and I'll have this story. Right? And so for me, I'm thriving because I'm in that place where I'm living who I truly am meant to be, who I am, which is wonderful.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:16]:
Oh, so good. Yeah. Why do you think so many of us struggle with thriving? Is it because we don't know our purpose? Is it because we're not we're just too beaten or we're so used to survival mode that we don't know that anything else exists. And I'm I'm guessing, you know, ask Yes.
Beth Jones [00:37:37]:
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:40]:
It just depends. Right? There's lots of different reasons why we find ourselves as humans in survival mode and not in thriving.
Beth Jones [00:37:49]:
Ultimately, I think it's because we don't know who we are. Right? And so for me, that includes not knowing. I couldn't tell you I was a victim and I'm a survivor. I couldn't tell you that until very recently in my life. Right? So and I think that's true for many of us. Right? And buried in all of that, I don't know who I am is I don't know what my life's purpose is, and I've struggled with that too. Like, literally, I mean, I talk about this in the book. It's one of the self discovery points that I had to get through, and it's something that I struggled with with for probably 15 years.
Beth Jones [00:38:20]:
Like, knowing, like, having this urge inside of me. Right? I'm just like, this is really this is all my life is about, you know, and it was very dissatisfying for me, that feeling that I had. But I didn't know who I was. And until I went through a process of self discovery to understand who I am and and know myself, there was no way I was gonna know what my life's purpose was. And I think that happens to a lot of us. Right? And we just don't, we don't we don't know who we are. And I think many people, don't, you know, don't ever get to the point where they have the opportunity that I've had to heal. Right? So that time their time never comes.
Beth Jones [00:38:57]:
They don't have anybody in front of them like me who's on a mission to say you can do it. You can do it. You too can heal. Right? So, a lot of reasons. But I do ultimately I think it comes back to not knowing who we are. Right? And we have a view of ourselves or in my case, not even really a view of myself. I'm just kind of bobbing along through life as a being, but not really not really owning this is who I am. Am.
Beth Jones [00:39:23]:
Like, even though for in my case, I mean, it was a bad ass back then. People would tell you that about me in the past. Right? But I didn't know him that. Right? And I think that's the reason why we don't we don't know ourselves.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:33]:
But what would you say to someone who's like, I know myself, but I'm a shit. I must be. Look at me.
Beth Jones [00:39:47]:
Very gently and kindly, I would say to that person that there might be a reckoning with that at some point in time. Right? Because I do think statement statements like that are ego based, and they come from an ego that often comes from an unhealed and unhealthy and unhealed place. And I think used that way, can also be a mask. The mask that someone was wearing over themselves to cover up what it is or hiding whatever it is that they're trying to hide. Right? So I'm not a fan of the ego. And I think, you know, I think ego can have its positive place, but I think it's one of the more difficult things that we deal with as human beings.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:31]:
Recognizing that the thoughts and the behaviors that no longer serve us. Yeah. And so it's kinda like that question, which which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Is it the thought? Is it the recognition of the thought? Or is it a dislike of the behavior? Do you know what I mean? Like, it's it's it's we're all But no matter no matter how you cut it, what I'm hearing from your story, Beth, is, first of all, you can be badass and still be suffering. Right?
Beth Jones [00:40:59]:
Absolutely.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:01]:
It just doesn't mean you've won the lottery and it's happening. Absolutely. In my world, being badass really means that you are you accept yourself. You recognize that you're you may not have the things in life that you want or that you aspire. You may have had some challenges. You may have had downright horrible situations. Mhmm. It doesn't mean you're not worthy of everything that you desire.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:26]:
So Yeah. And, of course, words have connotations and people sometimes people think you're just bad ass by having a kick ass job. Right? You make lots of money. You fly around the world, man, you're such a badass. Really though, folks, be bad ass by knowing you matter. Wherever you are in your journey, whatever challenges you have found yourself in, and I don't mean that you put yourself in there purposely, but just whatever life is thrown at you, know that you deserve more. Even if you're at the pinnacle, you deserve 2. Right? If you're at, you know, a bright start off and says, you know, if you're at a 10 out of 10, why not go for 12? You can go higher.
Mahara Wayman [00:42:07]:
It's definitely clear, Beth, that you're passionate about sharing your journey with others. If you had to share some tips with with the audience, just a couple things that helped you to feel more connected with the real you.
Beth Jones [00:42:28]:
So I talked about self discovery already and knowing myself. You know, I, I think I think the healing process so I might I don't know if I've said this or not, but so the word heal for me, h e a l, I have an acronym for that. And for me, it means to hope, evolve, and love. And I talk about, hope from the perspective of of losing all hopes. I'm a very hopeful person. Glass is 3 quarters full kind of girl, I would say. But even for someone like me, I've lost my hope before with respect to facing life. Right? So I think, you know, for me, hope is hope is the fuel that sustains the healing journey.
Beth Jones [00:43:07]:
And so I would say that is, paramount to get into a place where you know yourself. Right? Stepping into your badassery. Right? Knowing that you can rise above where you are. I think it was just a little bit of what you were saying just a minute ago. Right? I mean, you can rise above from that 10 to that 12 or the one to the 2. Right? Whatever it is, you're rising up. Right? And hope for me is what fuels that. But the key really, you know, that the healing process itself is about tools and taking a holistic approach to your health, your emotional health, and your mental health.
Beth Jones [00:43:37]:
And I talk a lot about that. Your mental health. And I talk a lot about that. The self discovery is really the most important part, and that is having the courage to take a really deep look at yourself. Right? And so for me, for example, when I'm reading books about, some not great things that constitute survivorship, what I call the unhealthy survivorship when I'm reading about that in books, and I'm like, oh, that's me. That's me. That's me. Right? So being able to own that is really important and not being afraid of it.
Beth Jones [00:44:12]:
Just saying it's okay for me. I'm a survivor and that's why I was engaging in those types of behaviors. Right? It's not okay now that I know it and moving forward and I need to adjust that to do something different. But really, again, I think that comes back to what I said before about having grace for an acceptance of yourself, even the stuff that's not very pretty. Right, is really, really important.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:40]:
That hope for a better future?
Beth Jones [00:44:44]:
Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:45]:
Self's grace to do better once we know better. Maya Angelou famously said that. You know, once you know better, then you can do better. Tell us more about the book.
Beth Jones [00:44:53]:
Yeah. That's very exciting. I, I I tell people I'm in that process right now. So I'm self publishing, so that also means I'm self launching, which I don't know if if anybody on this listening to this has gone through this process before. Writing a book is one thing. As you know, your hands up. So writing a book is one thing. Launching the book is entirely different project in and in and of choice.
Beth Jones [00:45:16]:
So I'm having I'm having fun with it. So, yeah. So that's coming on October 8. But, I mean, as I said before, I've sort of been told by the universe, it's time to put that down. You gotta finish the launch process, obviously, because it's important and you need to it's how you're gonna get part partly how you're gonna get your word out there. But, Yeah. What's next? I'm trying to figure that out now. So we'll see.
Mahara Wayman [00:45:37]:
So good. Well, guys, don't forget to check the show notes because the link to buy the book, you know, on Amazon will be in the show notes. I'm pretty sure this
Beth Jones [00:45:46]:
Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:45:47]:
Will will air after your book has has published. So congrats. Thank you. And, you know, I just wanna say thank you for sharing your story with us today.
Beth Jones [00:45:56]:
My pleasure.
Mahara Wayman [00:45:56]:
Being vulnerable enough to sort of go there with us today. Right? Yeah.
Beth Jones [00:46:00]:
It's my pleasure. I'm happy
Mahara Wayman [00:46:02]:
to do it. Being badass isn't as we said earlier, it's not all about, you know, roses and eating chocolate.
Beth Jones [00:46:08]:
It's not. But I am, and I know I am, which is great. It's a great place to be. And I say that with all humility and humbleness. Deep reverence for my story. Deep, deep reverence.
Mahara Wayman [00:46:18]:
Yeah. Oh, so good. This has been the art of badassery. Big shout out to my guest, Beth Jones today. And look for her book. My name is Mahara. We'll see you next week on the art of badassery. By the way, if you enjoyed our conversation or if you have any thoughts or feedback, make sure to comment on this episode.
Mahara Wayman [00:46:35]:
We'd love to know what you thought about it, what resonated, what didn't, or what questions you have about how to navigate being a survivor. See you next week. Thanks, everyone. Thanks for tuning in to another badass episode. Your support means the world to me. So if you enjoyed what you heard today, don't forget to like, share, and rate the episode on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback keeps the badassery flowing. And, hey, if you're ready to unleash your inner badass and conquer whatever life throws your way, why not book a complimentary badass breakthrough session? Just click the link in the show notes to schedule your session, and let's kick some serious butt together.
Mahara Wayman [00:47:21]:
Until next time, stay fearless, stay fabulous, and of course, stay badass. This is Mahara signing off.
