Mahara Wayman [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of badassery where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms. Break free from the status quo and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host Mahara Wayman and each week I dive into the stories, insights, and strategies of those who've mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is looking. Welcome to the Art of Badassery podcast. My name is Mahara, your host. I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest, Aoliana Elliott.
Mahara Wayman [00:00:48]:
Originally from Puerto Rico, now living in Florida, Aoliana has a background in criminology and has worked in just about every legal field. While While she once dreamed of being a lawyer, her passion for justice led her to a very fulfilling career as a paralegal. Married for 19 years, she's also a proud mom of a 12 year old son who lives and breathes hockey. In her downtime, she enjoys reading, coloring, podcasts, Marvel movies, and cheering on her son at hockey events. Welcome to the show. A, I've been given permission to call her that. So excited to have you on the art of badassery today. Let's jump right in.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:27]:
When you saw my call or guest, what was the first thing that went through your mind?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:01:33]:
The fact that it was a woman looking for other badass women. I thought that was awesome. I love that. I love that. I am I am down for women empowering each other.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:44]:
Okay. So so good. I'm so glad you answered the call to action. But what was it about your story that made you think, oh, yeah, I need to be on her show. I got something to share.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:01:55]:
You know, probably the fact that, like you said, I've gone through being a paralegal and I love doing that. But in between 2017 and 2019, I had some health issues, severe health issues, hospitalizations, lost my job as a paralegal during one of those stints, Had to jump into something else rather quickly and ended up just embracing podcasts for not just the entertainment value and not just as a consumer, but as a way to supplement my income. So I started doing editing, producing, and then jumped into doing strategist consultation. And then last year, I jumped into specifically launch strategy, as opposed to, like, management and things like that. And so on top of my paralegal career, which I love, I also do podcast launch strategy for people looking to launch a podcast.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:57]:
Okay. So, so good. And lots of badass product in there, though. What I'd like to do though is go back to way, way back when you first recognized the need for you to advocate for yourself. Because that was a component of being a badass. So I'm wondering, you know, back when and it may have been when you were a teenager. It may have been when you're in university. But when did you first realize, you know what? I gotta step up for myself.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:03:23]:
You know, I wish I could tell you that it was way back then, but it wasn't. It was probably within the last 5 years that I realized that I needed to advocate for myself because no one else was going to. Now that's not coming from a place of I don't have support and, you know, I need to advocate for myself all the time. And I think that's why it took me so long to realize I needed to advocate, because I have very supportive parents. My family is super supportive. My husband, my son, they're super supportive. I'm surrounded by support, which I know is not the case for a lot of people. But I found myself, especially probably after 2019, 2017, 2019, that that medical scare was one thing where I realized that if I didn't speak up for myself with those issues, no one was going to speak up for me.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:04:19]:
And I remember before before I went in the hospital in 2017, I was in and out of the ER, driving myself to the ER with like a 103 fever and, you know, not feeling well and telling the doctors and the nurses something is wrong and them telling me, oh, nothing, you're fine. And then the day I was admitted into the hospital, I remember this is the last thing I remember. I remember I went in, I called my husband. My mom drove me. I called my husband. I said, they're, checking me out. Take care of you know, our son was I mean, this was I don't know. He was, like, 3 or 4.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:04:57]:
I said, take care of the baby, feed him, whatever. And he's like, okay. When I'm done, I'll take him to your parents, and we can and I'll go to the hospital. That was only maybe a couple of hours span, maybe. My husband says by the time he got to the hospital, I had gone into respiratory arrest. They were intubating me and they were putting me under for the whole procedure. So had I not when I woke up a about a week or so later, the doctor told my husband that had I not gone to the hospital that day, I would have died in my sleep.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:34]:
Can you share with me what the problem was? What was it that you had hints of?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:05:39]:
Yeah. So at the time, I was working as a probation officer for our local sheriff's office here in Tampa, and a client came in with pneumonia. Now I'm a type 2 diabetic. So, I ended up getting the pneumonia that caused sepsis in my system because previously I hadn't this might be TMI, but I hadn't been able to go to the bathroom. And so all of that coupled together ended up with sepsis and my organs started to shut
Mahara Wayman [00:06:12]:
down. So sorry.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:06:16]:
Yeah. It was it was yeah. Yeah. It was it was a lot. It was a lot.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:20]:
So where did you find the wherewithal? Because let's be clear. Hospital for a week. You've just come out of a maybe a self induced coma or just been sleeping. Where did you find the energy or the strength to step up and advocate for yourself? Because I can imagine, like, that's you can't get much further down.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:06:41]:
Yeah. Yeah. Than that. Yeah. So I remember after I woke up, after I left the hospital and I was home doing physical therapy, I remember sitting down with my dad and asking my dad if he could tell me what happened. Because people in the hospital were talking about what happened around me. Like I wasn't there, you you know, like, I hadn't just gone through it. And I sat down with him and he told me, he said, well, if you don't remember, it's because you're not supposed to remember.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:07:09]:
And I remember hearing that and it made me so mad because, like, how is it possible that anyone is gonna tell me that that portion of my life is now gone and I'm not supposed to remember it and no one can explain to me what happened. So I remember when I was able to start walking again and driving, I told my husband, I said, let's go back to the hospital. And there was one nurse that when I woke up, she kept telling me, she says, you're going to be fine. You're going to do this for your son. You're going to be at this time. My son had just started, hockey lessons and he was doing, you know, he had just started and I missed the whole season. And I've I managed to make it to his very last class. And she had told me, she said, you're you're gonna do this for him.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:07:57]:
You're gonna be there at his last practice. You're gonna do this. And I walked in and I said, her name is Geneva. And I walked in. I said, Geneva, what happened to me? Like tell me what happened to me? And I had asked the doctors before and I had and nobody would tell me. And she took me in a room and she sat me down and she said this is what happened. And I said well why don't I remember? And she said, we gave you a medication because your body was under so much stress and so much trauma to where this medication doesn't allow you to remember the trauma. Once she told me that it was like, okay.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:08:38]:
Thank you. Like, I don't need to know all the specifics, but at least I know, like, I have all this time missing. I know why it's missing. I have a reason why it's missing. And so from that point on, it was like, okay, I need to ask questions. I need to not just medically, but like in life, if I don't like something, if I don't agree with something, I need to ask the question. I don't need to just walk around blindly assuming that everything everyone says is correct. I need to make sure I understand And if I'm agreeing with it, I need to be able to understand why do I agree with it.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:09:20]:
So like lately I've been telling my son, he's 12, and I've been telling him, I said, okay, you're 12 now. So when I ask you a question of why you did something, you can't say because or I don't know. Like, you have to be able to articulate why you did what you did or why you believe in what you believe in. Doesn't mean you're gonna change someone's mind. Doesn't mean that your opinion is going to change, but at least you know you're steadfast in why you think this way, why you believe this way, why you did this. And, you know, so we're moving forward in that. So I'm not just doing the advocating for myself. I'm trying to teach him to advocate for himself as well.
Mahara Wayman [00:10:06]:
Such a good call out. And, you know, it comes up a lot in the work that I do with my clients. I'm a high performance coach and I also have my clients. Is this is this understanding that we owe it to ourselves to be really curious. And I know Tony Robbins talks about this all the time, and now I do, which is the quality of our life is in direct proportion to the quality of the questions we ask of it. Yeah. To your point, part of being badass is recognizing your right to ask questions. If you don't get what's going on, ask questions.
Mahara Wayman [00:10:37]:
If you don't understand somebody's point of view, get curious. It doesn't have to come from a place of judgment or anger or incredulity. That's even a word. But just just getting clear. Clarity is everything. Okay. So on end of being a badass listeners is your willingness to ask great questions. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:10:56]:
What's another example of how that insight changed your life moving forward after that? Horrific. By the way, I'm so glad that everything worked out.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:11:04]:
Yeah. We're great. We are yep. We are 100% so great. Yep. Thank you. Thank goodness. Thank God.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:11:11]:
Thank all of the I think all of the good things. I probably let me see, probably when I decided to jump in and do, help people launch their podcasts. So it wasn't something that I ever thought I would do. I tried my husband and I tried a business on the online space before and it just wasn't a good fit for us. So I never really thought, like, I didn't know it was a thing. I knew people did podcasts. I'd been enjoying podcasts, you know, since the early days. I love true crime podcasts.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:11:49]:
But something inside of me said, okay, you need to do more. You there's something more that you need to be doing. And, you know, just researching, asking questions, you know, meeting podcasters, seeing why they got into it, meeting people who had thought about doing podcasts and never did because they didn't have the support. And so one of the things I like to do advocating for, you know, my clients is one of the first things I do is try to help them find their unique voice, what their message is, not cookie cutter or, you know, carbon copy of someone else that they like, but just their own message, their own voice. And I think that's so empowering. And, you know, it allows us to advocate for ourselves in ways that we never thought we could. As women, like, I'm Latina. So for me, it wasn't really something growing up that you advocated for yourself.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:12:53]:
Like you're a woman. My mom is mouthy, but my mom knows her place. And she tells me all the time, she says, you know, you are you're strong. And she always tells me how strong I am, how independent I am. And it wasn't until I started owning up to that, living up to that realization, I guess, that things really started changing. You know, like I am independent. I am strong. I am that person that she's always said for me to be.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:13:26]:
And being independent doesn't mean that, like, I don't rely on my husband for some things, you know, doesn't mean that we don't rely on support. It doesn't mean that we need a community or, you know, people around us to support us. It doesn't mean that we're an island in and of ourselves. I think advocating for ourselves is just another way to show how strong we are in that community and in that group of support. So that's, you know
Mahara Wayman [00:13:55]:
It's an interesting point that you bring up and I you said something now that reminded me that I wanted to bring it up earlier, which is it is possible to be surrounded by love and support and still not feel like a badass. Yep. Right? Because badassery starts from inside.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:14:09]:
Right.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:10]:
It's a wonderful addition because once you start to feel it and then your your family's like, well, of course, we love of course, you're all of these things.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:14:16]:
Right.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:17]:
Definitely possible to for there to be a disconnect. But I think about what you just said was being badass isn't it's it's recognizing who you are, whoever that is, whether you feel independent or not. Right? Whether you feel x x or y. So and I think that's a a bit of a a misunderstanding in the world still, which is why I have these conversations. Yeah. It's not about being, rich, thin, successful, badassery. It's about being yourself Right. And really owning who you are.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:50]:
And we talk about this a lot in in my field of in my work, which is we wanna be in alignment with ourselves. And and some of my clients and some of my friends are like, what the hell does that even mean? And I'm like, well, you kinda have to get there to understand it when you don't have it. And then when you really don't have it, then you know what it is. But in in simple terms, it's just being who you are honestly. That person's side that, you know, somebody says something and that person reacts this way, but you don't show it out front because you're scared of what will be. So getting to know yourself is a really key component to feeling badass. What are some things that you've now learned about yourself in these last few years that perhaps kinda make you stand up a little taller or sit up a little taller?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:15:32]:
I am a lot more I don't wanna I think confrontational is the wrong word, but I'm a lot more willing to rock the boat. I'm a lot more willing
Mahara Wayman [00:15:43]:
to
Aeoliana Elliott [00:15:43]:
say, no. That's not good for me. No. That's not right for me. No. I'm not willing to do this. Whereas before I would have been like, what do you need? Yep. I'm here.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:15:54]:
Whatever you need. And now I'm more of this doesn't feel good for me. This doesn't work for me. This relationship isn't good for me. And just taking that time, taking those few seconds to realize that what I want and what I need are just as important as anyone else's. Just because someone else like and I'm a person who's of service. I love serving people. That is my passion.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:16:24]:
That is where I come alive when I'm serving others. But just because I'm willing to serve others doesn't mean I'm a doormat and I need to have people walk all over me. I can serve and still have those boundaries and still keep those boundaries intact and take care of myself first and also serve other people. So that's one of the things I'm proudest of. Ling, I can say no.
Mahara Wayman [00:16:50]:
Saying no is can still be incredibly tough, and it goes right it goes back to this idea of really knowing yourself. You can't confidently agree or disagree with something unless you know yourself. Absolutely. And that's that's why it's such they're they're so tied together. I see all the time, and I even experienced it myself, the challenge to set powerful boundaries. I think most of us understand the idea of boundaries as you you you set a rule, basically. No. Please don't call me after 9 o'clock.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:18]:
But what I've learned is that in order to make the boundary really powerful, you have to include a consequence. Right? It's just like when we raise our kids. Right? You know, don't do this. Don't run across the street. You may get run over by a car. Right? Or don't swear your mother. You may get a time out. But often as adults, I think we we set we set quasi boundaries, and we feel good about ourselves for setting quasi boundaries.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:42]:
But if there's no consequence and the person oversteps that boundary, we can feel floundering like, oh my god. They did it. Like, you're calling me after 9. Okay. And you pick up the phone or you answer it, whatever it happens to be. So just a side note on setting boundaries. Folks, if you want them to be really powerful, make sure you include a consequence.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:18:02]:
Yep. And also remember that the boundaries aren't for them. Yeah. The boundaries are for you. So the consequence, it could very well affect them, but the consequences you're creating are the ones if they do this, what am I going to do? So if your boundary is I don't take calls after 9 PM and someone calls you after 9 PM, your boundary consequences that you don't answer the phone and you answer them the next time your office hours are available. That's not a consequence to them. They broke the boundary, but you're sticking to your consequences. You're not answering the phone.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:18:42]:
So I think what a lot of people do when they create boundaries is they're expecting the boundaries to be for someone else. And the boundaries aren't for someone else. The boundaries are what are we going to do if that boundary is broken.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:55]:
Interesting call out because I actually share with clients to look at I invite them to look at boundaries as being a gift for 2 people, for yourself. And the reason it's a gift for them is you're making it very clear for them for you to like them. Guys, if you want respect, if clients, if you want me to answer your call, don't call me after 9. Right. I'm telling you exactly what to do to make me like you or respect or answer your call or, you know, whatever the case may be. So, yeah, it's interesting that setting boundaries comes up in so many components of my work. And learning to set powerful boundaries really can help you navigate the newness of feeling like a badass. Because for some of us, we didn't grow up as badass as we've kinda went to your point.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:38]:
You've only learned it recently. But it can be shocking to all of a sudden wake up and say to your family, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna allow you to speak to me like that anymore. Right?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:19:48]:
Right.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:48]:
They're making bit of a inching into that that new persona. Okay. Beautiful. So you do you now work fully with podcasters or are you still do you still have your feet in both in both careers?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:20:00]:
I still have my feet in both, but luckily I work from home. So I do my paralegal, 9 to 5 well, 8 to 4 from home. And so it allows me the flexibility to if I need to talk to a client, if I need to look at something that they've sent me, you know, if I'm working on creating something, I can do all of that from one place. I'm not commuting back and forth and, you know, have all of that. So it's definitely given me more freedom to do both of the things that that I'm I'm excited about.
Mahara Wayman [00:20:35]:
So I gotta ask this from a parent and somebody that works from home. Yeah. Do you find the balance? Because I am still working on that. You know, I get excited and, like, my creativity's through the roof, and I'm, like, hours on end in front of my laptop trading Canva posts and recording podcasts and just getting all excited. But then I realized, wow, the whole week has gone by, and I haven't done some of my favorite things. Now my children are out of the house. They're older. Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:21:01]:
I'm curious. How do you find that balance?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:21:05]:
So for me, weekdays are workdays between so I get up at 5:30, and that's when I do my journaling. I do my scrolling. I do, you know, stuff like that. My work ends at 4. My son's home between 3, 3:30. My work ends at 4, and then the rest of the time is family stuff. So whether that's cooking dinner together, Friday nights are, you know, hockey games. People talk about Friday night lights with football.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:21:35]:
My Friday night lights are in a hockey rink every Friday. Saturday is hockey. Sunday is hockey. So I try to make Friday, Saturday, and Sunday my family days. I don't schedule anything on Sundays. That's family day. And if I need to, I might schedule something on a Saturday, but very rarely. So what I did with my family and what I tell my clients to do is set up a calendar and set up a calendar with your family.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:22:11]:
Put in first your family activities, whatever they are. If you wanna do game night once a month, if you want whatever it is that you wanna do for that month, set that up first, then put all your other activities around that. Because what so many of us do as parents is we try to fit in our families with everything else. And sometimes you're not gonna be able to do the things that you want and you've gotta keep it flexible. You've gotta roll with the punches. You know, sometimes your kids are gonna need a little bit more help than others. Sometimes you're gonna need a little bit more self care than others. But just once you have that plan in place, then work from there.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:22:55]:
But always, if you have children, young children in the house, I try to tell my clients, try to do family time first. Like, my husband and I do a date night once a month, where we go out to dinner, we get all fancy, we get all dolled up, and it's like once a month. But, you know, that's how I do it. It's definitely not a surefire thing. It's definitely doesn't happen the same way every week. But it's something I strive towards. And I think balance is something that you never actually reach. It's something that you're continuously striving for because our lives change, you know, day to day, hour by hour, depending on, you know, different things.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:23:40]:
So that would be my tip.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:42]:
I heard a couple things in there. Number 1 is is is get your priorities straight. And I don't Mhmm. Negative way, but just be very clear on what's important. Maybe in my case, certain times of my business as I was growing my business that I made a conscious decision. The business needs my energy. Right? For whatever reason, mostly it was because I didn't know what I was doing, and I just had to figure it out. But part of being a badass is being very clear on on your priorities.
Mahara Wayman [00:24:08]:
Mhmm. The other thing that I really loved about what you just said is this understanding that while it's important to have a goal, if we overfocus on the end result, we miss the beauty of the of the effort. Right?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:24:22]:
Absolutely.
Mahara Wayman [00:24:22]:
Focus on the action that allows us to pivot when needed, be creative, and not beat ourselves up over the the fact that we had to pivot or change things slightly because focusing on the doing, not the end result. Because what I'm learning in this journey is while I've got a great imagination, the universe has an even better one. Right. I well, I usually don't know how to get there. And the the end result is often much smaller than what it's turning out to be.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:24:53]:
Yep. And it's a lot different than what you thought it was gonna be.
Mahara Wayman [00:24:57]:
Right.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:24:57]:
It's funny that you said that because I was on a podcast yesterday, and one of the things we ended up talking about was that, and now it locked no. No. It it it disappeared, and that it was so good. See see what happens? We just pivot. You see that? We just we pivot. Oh. We just pivot. But it was but oh, I remember.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:25:19]:
Okay. I remember. So it was basically everyone's a beginner at something. Whether you're a beginner in launching a podcast, whether you're a beginner in how you navigate this this part of your life, whatever that is, we all need to give ourselves grace and give ourselves the time to be a beginner and learn from what being a beginner means. Don't try to rush to figure it all out. Enjoy all the steps that come with being a beginner.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:49]:
Great advice and a good call out. It can be I mean, I know how tough it is because from in my instance, I feel like I had a download from the universe when I decided to do my podcast, for example, just over a year ago. And I say that because, literally, I'd always known I wanted to do a podcast because I thought they were great, and I love to interview, and I love to talk. But all of a sudden, one day, I just basically woke up and went, it's time to do the podcast. What am I gonna call it? Part of that ass rig. Yeah. That's it. And it was so it was just done that I jumped right in and went for it, which is great that I had that level of creativity and that level of trust in my idea.
Mahara Wayman [00:26:27]:
But what was missing was the know how. And to your Mhmm. I felt that I needed to figure it out all myself right away. Get get get because I jumped in and started it. I started it way long before I knew how to do it. So that's why it's been a bit of a well, it's not a bit. It's been quite the learning curve. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:26:46]:
And some things have been fun to learn. Some things not so much, but that's life. And when you feel like a badass, it doesn't bother you quite so much when you made a mistake, quote, a mistake. I don't believe in mistakes. I There
Aeoliana Elliott [00:27:00]:
are no mistakes to either get what get the, the result you wanted or the lesson that you needed to learn.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:05]:
Exactly. Right? And the minute you the minute my friends laugh when I say this, but honest to god, the minute you decide to learn from it, that's it. It's done being a mistake. And I feel it in my body. Right? Because for that, there's that split second of of angst when I think screwed up. But then the minute I go, oh, wait a second. What can I learn from this? That Right. You didn't just disappear just dissipates.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:28]:
It's it's quite amazing, this journey of being human. Yeah. You pay attention. It can be quite quite wonderful. Okay. I'd like to go back a little bit further before you got sick. Mhmm. Was there anything any real defining moments in your career up until that point where it allowed you to go, okay.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:48]:
This is a great opportunity for learning.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:27:53]:
Probably to be fair, every time I lost a job and had to find another one. The legal field down here in Florida is not very, it's not very secure, because lawyers or they'll start I don't know if it the, like, district attorney's office. We have it state attorney's office. They'll start there, and then they'll go and they'll open up their firm. And then they'll firm will be open for, like, 2 or 3 years. And then they'll like, I had one lawyer that I loved working for. He decided to stop being a lawyer, go build furniture with his dad, and then 5 years later, he decided to be an attorney again. But by then, I had already taken another job.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:28:44]:
You know? Right. So I've had so things like that where there's no security. Like, I remember when I got sick, in 2019. So after all that craziness, I ended up with 2 kidney infections because of a medication I was on. Everything was fine. It wasn't like I was hospitalized, but it wasn't as bad as the one in 2017. And the law firm I was working for while I was in the hospital fired me. I'm in the hospital.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:29:12]:
I'm not like at home sipping my ties. You know, I'm in the hospital. And so because here in Florida, we don't have unions like they do in other states. They were able to do that. And so I remember my husband told me, he was like, you are not working for another law firm ever again. Like, that's it. You're not. Lo and behold, here I am, and he likes that I where I'm at, but it's okay.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:29:36]:
So that learning how to start over again every single time was a lesson that I learned because it helped me to realize my own strength, realize, like I am good at this. I am a badass at my job. I do do a good job whether they see it or not. Like I am someone that brings value wherever I go. So that was probably the lessons that I learned with that.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:08]:
Yeah. That's such a great lesson, and I don't know if people picked up on it. But when you said whether they see it or not, so often we look for outside validation.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:30:19]:
Absolutely. And
Mahara Wayman [00:30:20]:
you're badass. You don't look for that anymore. It doesn't matter whether they what matters is that you're being yourself. What matters is that you know your stuff. You do your best. You're all of those things. Right. So good good call out, and I'm glad that you recognize that.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:36]:
It ain't about them.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:30:37]:
Yeah. And it's funny. It's funny because we're talking about being true to ourselves and finding who we are in our badassery. And I'd have to say that for me, learning who I was didn't come from me learning it. It came from me teaching my son how to be true to himself, how to advocate for himself, how to not let the words, the actions, you know, the things of others dictate who he was. And in trying to teach him all of these things, it's just turned into well, damn, like the same thing goes for me. You know? The same things are true for me. They're not just true for him.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:31:27]:
They're true for me as well. And so that, you know
Mahara Wayman [00:31:31]:
Gotta jump in here. Where and and I love that that's happened, but where what's in the gap between seeing your son act this way and then recognizing there's a better way and then teaching him? What's in that gap? Because I'm gonna challenge you a little bit if I you weren't you didn't feel badass until you were teaching the story because part of you recognize the need for it. Right. So was that I don't know where I'm going with this, but there's No.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:32:01]:
No. I get you. I understand. Probably because I was seeing it in someone else, and I've I've always felt that sometimes when we see things in other people, whether we we gravitate towards them or not, there's something in that conversation in the person that way acts that we resonate with, whether it's positive or negative. And so I think for me, in seeing everything he because him and I are very much alike. Our personalities are very much alike. And I I'm into human design, and I'm a projector. He's a manifester.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:32:40]:
And so seeing all of these things interplay with different things and, like, when he's angry, he's, you know, like, he's very angry and then it comes down very quickly and he's very emotional, but in the right ways, he's very empathetic and, you know, all of those things. And so seeing all that, seeing how he was hurt by people's perceptions of him reminded me of how hard it was for me growing up, living with other people's perceptions of who I needed to be. And so I think in a way teaching him gave me the space to realize that I can do this for myself too. Like, I'm teaching him how to advocate, and it kinda woke up something in me that said, well, you know what? I I can do this for myself. I don't have to just do it for other people. I'm just as important as everyone else, and I deserve to advocate for myself and to speak up for myself and to not let people's perceptions of me be the deciding factor of of how I feel about myself.
Mahara Wayman [00:33:54]:
Got it. So so good. You know, I I I I believe it wholeheartedly that not only as my role as a parent is to teach my children, but I have seen it so many times where my children are here to teach me.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:34:07]:
Absolutely.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:08]:
You kind of alluded to that. That's that's kinda fun. So good. Alright. Where what's on the horizon for you?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:34:16]:
So I have my podcast coming in December. It's called Your Voice Uncovered. And, I'm gonna be diving into podcast strategy, but not just in the tech sense of it. We're gonna be using my BECAME framework. So that is balance, communication, collaboration, authenticity, mindset, and empowerment. And just how all of those aspects will create not only a podcast where your voice is heard and your message is heard, but where you feel that your life and all the aspects of it and all the people around it are in balance with the passions that you have. So that is my goal with it. And, yeah, I'm really excited about it, actually.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:08]:
Well, of course, you should be because you know what it you know what it entails and you know Yeah. Power of the podcast. I mean, there's a gazillion of them out there, but they are so easy to listen to. They're, you know, multitask, listen to podcasts while you're while you're doing the housework.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:35:23]:
All the time. I do it all the time. So
Mahara Wayman [00:35:25]:
What I love about podcasting well, there's lots that I love about it, but, really, it's the opportunity for authenticity.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:35:32]:
Absolutely.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:33]:
Guys, it's not scripted. It to me, that's fairly obvious. Anybody that watches mine knows that they're not scripted, except for the part. I typically script the introduction. But if we allow the more we allow ourselves to be authentic and to trip and to get back up and to apologize and to ask questions, I think the richer our lives will be. You know, it's
Aeoliana Elliott [00:35:53]:
not 100%.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:54]:
Do the work that we do. It's to it's to make a difference in the world. Any tips that you'd like to leave with our audience just from your point of view on a daily basis, tips to help you feel more connected with who you really are and what you bring to the world?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:36:08]:
Probably just going back to gauging my energy, throughout the day. Some days I feel more energetic than others, and some days I really don't want to do much but sit down, scroll through Instagram, or, you know, start to color, pick up a book, take a walk, and that's okay. I think so many times we are all high achieving and we're all go go go go go. And I'm I'm just learning how to take time for myself. Something my husband used to make fun of me. He's like, you don't know how to relax. And he was right. I didn't know how to relax.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:36:50]:
And I'm just learning that relaxing is an action. Just being in my being with myself in the quiet, doing something that I enjoy, that is taking action. That is doing something. I'm doing something for myself. So just take the time, gauge your energy, and, act accordingly. Don't try to overdo it. Don't try to stress yourself out and and do all of the things. Everything will get done exactly when it needs to get done.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:17]:
Such a good tip. Honor your journey and honor your energy. Well, people don't often put it that way, but I think that's a really just a real basic way to look at this. Guys, if you're exhausted, you're exhausted. Right. And, truthfully, I think what I'm trying to do these days is I don't wanna get to the point of exhaustion. Right. I'm trying to tune into my body and my emotions and my feelings, all the different types of energy we have, mental, physical, emotion, and even spiritual, and really not let myself get to that top level.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:44]:
Just keep it keep it sort of on an even keel.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:37:47]:
Well, your body will let you know when it needs rest. It will let you know. And usually that means you get sick and you're in bed for, you know, a week, but your body will let you know when you need rest.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:58]:
Yeah. Tuning into the body is is component of being badass in my opinion, because, again, of awareness. Like, what am I feeling?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:38:09]:
Right.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:09]:
Is my stomach always clenched? Why is my hip hurting? All of these things. Right. Well, of course, you hit menopause, and then there's no answer other than a normal.
Aeoliana Elliott [00:38:17]:
Yeah. We don't have any answer for that. I'm in perimenopause, I think, or premenopause or whatever they call it.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:22]:
So K. That's a that's a whole other ballgame, but I wanna thank you so much for joining me on today's podcast. Your story is is an absolute delight. Very excited for you and what for us as we have this new podcast to to listen to in the fall. Or you said December?
Aeoliana Elliott [00:38:38]:
December. Yep.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:39]:
Alright. Guys, I hope you enjoyed our conversation. Check out show notes so you know how to connect with my guest. My name is Mahar. This has been the art of badassery. I'll see you all next week when I talk to another badass lady in my world. Take care. Thanks for tuning in to another badass episode.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:57]:
Your support means the world to me. So if you enjoyed what you heard today, don't forget to like, share, and rate the episode on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback keeps the badassery flowing. And, hey, if you're ready to unleash your inner badass and conquer whatever life throws your way, why not book a complimentary badass breakthrough session? Just click the link in the show notes to schedule your session, and let's kick some serious butt together. Until next time, stay fearless, stay fabulous, and of course, stay badass. This is Mahara signing off.
