Mahara Wayman [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of badassery where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms, break free from the status quo, and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman. And each week, I dive into the stories, insights, and strategies of those who've mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is lucky. Before we get started, a quick note from our sponsor, mindfulness with Mahara. What if the struggles that you go through as a female entrepreneur are actually what make your dream business strong? What if doing the inner work is what finally moves your business forward? Ladies, are you feeling stuck, drained, and uncertain on your journey to business success? Let's shake things up a bit and dive into the real game changer, the inner work. As your fellow entrepreneur who's been through it all, I'm thrilled to invite you to my group program, build your best badass business.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:20]:
Listen up. This isn't your average group program. We're going all in because I know firsthand that to build a thriving business, you've got to conquer those internal battles first. No more brushing aside the inner work or ignoring that niggle of unease inside your belly. You've already put in the grind for your business. Now do the same for your growth and empowerment. So join me as we explore the transformative power of clarity, mindfulness, courage, assertiveness, and setting kick ass goals. Together, we'll shape your journey into the ultimate success story.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:59]:
So are you ready to unleash your inner badass? Click the links in the show notes to learn more and to book your free badass breakthrough session. Let's see if we're fit to work together and if my program is exactly what you've been looking for. I'm Mahara, your badass coach. Welcome to the Art of Badassery podcast where creativity meets impact. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman. And today, I'm so excited to have Tony Gebber Hewitt as my guest. Tony is multiple award winning visual artist, photographer, and community leader whose work redefines photography as a powerful catalyst for social chain. As the founder of XvXY Photo, Tony has collaborated with notable brands such as Nike, Royal Bank of Canada, Vice Canada, and more.
Mahara Wayman [00:02:50]:
His photographs have been featured in over 40 publications globally, including The Star, The Globe and Mail, Paper Magazine, and LUK. So join us as we take a deep dive into his journey from self taught artist to influential change maker and discover how his lens reshapes the conversation around society and its subjects. Let's dart into Tony's let's dive into the art of badassery with Tony. Tony, welcome to the show. I'm so pleased to have you here.
Tony X Tones [00:03:23]:
Thank you so much, and thank you for such a gracious introduction. I really appreciate it.
Mahara Wayman [00:03:27]:
Oh my goodness. So some of you that watch the show on a regular basis may be doing a bit of a double take because, yes, in almost a year of doing the show, Tony is my first male guest. And I would just wanna give a little background to how we met and why you are on the show. So I was fortunate enough to be invited to a fundraiser about 8 weeks ago in Edmonton, and Tony was the guest speaker. I was so captivated by his story that as soon as it was over, I found him near the canopies, and I said, excuse me, but you sound really badass. I I think we need to talk. And, of course, Harry is today. So I wanna say thank you, Tony.
Mahara Wayman [00:04:07]:
And let's just dive in and go back to before you discovered your love of photography. What were you doing?
Tony X Tones [00:04:15]:
Oh, man. Before that, I honestly I was just walking the traditional path. You know? Like, I was in high school, just trying to get my education as my parents told me to do. I was, playing sports, so I was, like, on a basketball team. And basketball was, like, my first real passion. You know? It's like the first thing identified as, like, something that can just take me away from reality and and put me in that flow state. And, yeah, honestly, I wasn't doing much. I was, like, really interested in girls and pursuing girls and, you know, the typical teenager kind of stuff.
Tony X Tones [00:04:47]:
And then, yeah, I was in university where, I discovered, you know, a camera for the first time.
Mahara Wayman [00:04:53]:
What were you studying in university?
Tony X Tones [00:04:55]:
I was studying okay. Because I love sports so much, This is really funny. I went to my guidance counselor, and I'm like, I don't know what I wanna do. Like, can you help me figure out what I wanna do with my life? And she's like, well, you like sports? You like movement? It's like, maybe you should take kinesiology. And so I literally just went with her suggestion. I'm like, yeah. I could see myself doing, physiotherapy or, like, being a chiropractor something along those lines. So, yeah, I applied at U of T.
Tony X Tones [00:05:21]:
I applied at TMU, and then I applied at York University and I got into York and just like started there. I think by my 2nd year, I was already like, kind of over this, but, there was there was pressure for my parents to, you know, complete getting a degree because I would have been the 1st in our family to do
Mahara Wayman [00:05:40]:
that. Yeah. So did you complete?
Tony X Tones [00:05:43]:
I did. I did. It took me an extra year. I finished in 5 years, but, yeah, I completed it. I got a, BSC in kinesiology, and then I got a minor in French.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:52]:
So I have to ask. In those years of studying that, when was it you picked up the the camera?
Tony X Tones [00:05:58]:
It was, my 2nd year. So, like, 1st year, I met, this girl that I was interested in. And, you know, like, we were just friends at the time, and we were hanging out. And then, we started going on dates and, you know, she started to bring her camera around. And, at first, I was like, I was like, what is that? Like, you know, like, how does that how do you already know how to use that? How does that work? And, you know, it just, like, went from me, like, testing it out, taking a few photos to, like, whenever we were hanging out, you know, I would have the camera on my shoulder and and taking photos to me asking her to take the camera home and her being like, you gotta get your own camera, man. It's it's too much. And then yeah. And I was working simultaneously while getting my education.
Tony X Tones [00:06:40]:
I was working at, Home Outfitters, which is like a home decor store. And I was doing, I was like a stock boy from, you know, I guess, like, 4 or 5 AM to, like, 7 or 8 AM. And then I would shoot an hour and a half away, like, from the east end to the west end of Toronto, to York University, and I would just, like, take class all day, head back home, rinse and repeat.
Mahara Wayman [00:07:03]:
Okay. So when did you first realize that there was magic behind the lens or in front of the lens depending on how you look at it? Yeah.
Tony X Tones [00:07:11]:
For sure. I think, I think it started when I bought my own camera. So I think, like, when I was using Batgirl's camera, I was, like, just really curious about it. I'm very curious by nature, just in general. And then once I got my own camera, it was, like, so serendipitous because but around the time I got my camera, a lot of elements of my life were changing. So, I wasn't really happy with my friend circle. I just went through, like, my first, like, real heartbreak. You know? Like, this girl, like, cheated on me and broke my heart, and I was like, you know, my whole identity was, like, up in the air, and I was just changing a lot of different parts of my life.
Tony X Tones [00:07:47]:
But the camera and photography kind of, like, came into my life and, really helped me ground myself. You know? I think once I decided, okay. I don't really wanna be around these people. I'm really sad and, like, you know, depressed and all that kind of stuff. I would go on walks with my camera. And not just, like, short walks. I'd go for hours, and I would just take photos of things that, I felt attracted to. You know? It was nature.
Tony X Tones [00:08:14]:
It was, you know, building sometimes. It was, like, whatever I, like, just was curious about. And yeah. And I realized I was like, this it was the first time in my life I'm like, oh, I can be happy alone. Like, I can actually as long as I have some sort of, like, a habit or or thing that I can practice, while I'm outside. And yeah. And then from that moment on, it was just like, okay. This is what I feel for this is stronger than anything I felt before.
Tony X Tones [00:08:42]:
So we gotta do something about this.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:45]:
So many so many juicy tidbits in what you just shared with us and a couple of them that I wanna pull out.
Tony X Tones [00:08:50]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:50]:
Understanding because you're still quite young. Let's be let's be honest. Right? You're still young. That you can find happiness outside of the typical validation that young people look for, which is circle of friends and the type of job and, you know, all of those outside things. To me, it sounds like that's quite an to have at such a young age. So that's one thing I wanted to point to pull out. The other thing I really loved was how you I was I'm very visual. And as you were describing grabbing the camera and going for a walk, what I what I saw was an invitation to the world to let you in.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:29]:
Wow. You pull up the camera. You're like, let me in. Let me in.
Tony X Tones [00:09:34]:
Wow. That's beautiful.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:36]:
It kinda gave me the shivers.
Tony X Tones [00:09:37]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:38]:
Okay. You start taking these pictures. You start spending time with yourself and recognizing that. The third thing I loved was your love of your affinity for what you were doing was greater than any fear that may have been attached to it. That's total bad.
Tony X Tones [00:09:53]:
Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:54]:
What made you stick with the schooling when you realized that that perhaps wasn't gonna be the end result for your, quote, career because you were so enamored of photography. How did you do that? I mean, seriously.
Tony X Tones [00:10:07]:
Okay. So this is really funny. So, like, you know, I was not funny actually at all, but, like, I grew up, in poverty. You know? Like, my I was in a single mother household. My mom, she was very privileged back home in Africa, but, when she came here, she didn't have the credentials to, you know, get a great job and do all those sorts of things. And so, my life was very much like her working, you know, 8 to 6, coming home, doing whatever she can for me, and then, again, rinse and repeat. But I say this because once I identified photography as a passion, my first mindset was, I don't wanna make money off of this. I enjoy this so much.
Tony X Tones [00:10:47]:
I don't wanna make money off of this. And so, I wasn't thinking of it as a way to make a living at that time. And so so much so that, you know, my my real practice of photography started with a charity. I started a charity called Shooting for Change. And with this charity, we took it was myself, one of my closest friends at the time, and his girlfriend. And, his girlfriend had an apartment that she turned into a studio, and we were doing I was doing shoots, like, photoshoots, 1 hour, 2 hour photo shoots for, like, $30 at the time. And my friend was doing video shoots for around 50 to $100 at a time. And we would take a 100% of those proceeds, and we would buy food.
Tony X Tones [00:11:35]:
We would buy clothing. We'd buy toothpaste. We'd buy all the essentials, and we would walk out, you know, every, like, every month, basically, and giving out food and and resources to the houseless. And we did that for 3 and a half years, almost 4 years.
Mahara Wayman [00:11:51]:
2 things. My god. There's I could just this is so much this is such a great conversation. Mhmm. I wanna call out that you refer to it as houseless, not homeless.
Tony X Tones [00:12:01]:
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:02]:
Heard that.
Tony X Tones [00:12:03]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:12:04]:
I think I know why, but I'd love you to explain that change in terminology.
Tony X Tones [00:12:11]:
Yeah. I think I think when you you say homeless, you know, I think I think anywhere can be home. It's a it's a feeling more than it is, a physical representation. And so and you you're also, like, denying the reality that, like, wherever they sleep ends up being their home. Right? And so when you say houseless, you're just acknowledging that they don't have a necessarily physical home to to rest in and sleep in. And and, you know, even, like sorry. I'm just gonna go off on a quick tangent. Like, one of the best things about that shooting for change experience that we went through is that, like, we build relationships with them.
Tony X Tones [00:12:45]:
It wasn't just like, here, take this, and then we'd walk away. No. Like, we spent time with them. They would show us spots their favorite spots in the city. They would take us on rooftops, and we'd hang out with them. And then we we would have, like, a consistent way of sort of, like, supporting their basic needs. And some people and the stories that we learned. Like, some people literally came from, like, for example, like, Newfoundland or something like that and just didn't have enough money to get back home and couldn't figure it out.
Tony X Tones [00:13:11]:
So imagine you're just able to provide them the transportation fare, and now they can get back home. But they were stranded here because they couldn't figure it out. You know? So there's so many circumstances that lead to ending up being houseless that we're not aware of, and we just you know, we walk by them every every day. I think there's a lot more to unpack there.
Mahara Wayman [00:13:30]:
And you remember how it felt the first time that somebody looked up at you and said thank you or smiled at you after doing that? I mean, I can just imagine it was pretty moving.
Tony X Tones [00:13:42]:
Yeah. Absolutely. I mean yeah. It's it's always a, a powerful experience, and I think, I don't know if I can remember the first one, but I can also I can really remember the stories I was told. You know? Like, some people would say, like, you know, I haven't eaten in a week. This is my first, like, meal in a week. Or, you know, I haven't brushed my teeth or showered in a month, and and this is helping me. You know? So, like, hearing all of those kind of things, it really puts into perspective, like, all the things we take for granted on a daily basis that people just, like, wish to have access to.
Tony X Tones [00:14:17]:
And the first friend that I made, I'll never forget him. His name is Adam. Really, really cool guy. And, honestly, not only was he grateful, like and something I've made sure to do is, like, I would always come down to eye level with them. Like, I wouldn't just, like, stand over them and give them whatever resources. I come down to eye level and yeah. Like, he was grateful for, you know, the food that we gave him, but, like, he just wanted to socialize. He just wanted to have a conversation.
Tony X Tones [00:14:43]:
It was not about, you know, getting money or, like, anything like that. He wanted to just connect as a human being, and that really resonated with me. And that led to, like, you know, we were friends for years until we lost contact. And there was no reason why we lost contact. We just we just lost contact. So, yeah, it it's it it was, like, to me, like, the perfect training grounds for me as a human being, but also, like, as a photographer.
Mahara Wayman [00:15:06]:
It's so powerful when we can remind ourselves that one of the greatest things that we want out of life is connection.
Tony X Tones [00:15:13]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:15:15]:
So first of all, I wanna say thank you for this work that you did then because I know it's led to other things. But everyone listening, ask yourself, when was the last time you took a conscious step towards the houseless people in your community? Because they they are everywhere. And so many of us run away from that because it's ugly or it makes us uncomfortable or we you know, there's a long there's a lot of reasons why people ignore or pretend that this doesn't. So I wanna say kudos to you and your friends for not succumbing, not being the average, I would say, and really diving into an area that needed some some attention. But I love the story that your friend that this Adam just really valued the human connection. When we're struggling, whether it's mentally, emotionally, physically, or all of them spiritually, Connection can be so powerful, and it's not necessarily you know, a $100 is gonna make the difference, but 5 minutes of looking me in the eye and having a real connection can make all the difference in the world. So Mhmm. Thank you for that.
Tony X Tones [00:16:19]:
Thank you. Thank you.
Mahara Wayman [00:16:20]:
So how long did that nonprofit last for is or is it still going on?
Tony X Tones [00:16:27]:
No. No. It lasted, yeah, like, almost 4 years, I would say, and we raised, like, 1,000 of dollars. Like, at that young age, it was like, I couldn't believe it, and it created a lot of, like, online buzz at the time. And a lot of people were supporting because it was, like, 30, $50. You wouldn't spend more than that. And I don't know where else, even at that time, you could have gotten, like, a photo shoot or a video shoot for that price. But what happened was, you know, like, my friend and the girlfriend, they ended up splitting up.
Tony X Tones [00:16:52]:
The studio was at her apartment. We didn't really have, like, the resources to continue it, and and so it dissolved. And, that was really hard for me because that was, like, my first real dream that I put out into the world. And, and when I had to sort of you know, I didn't let it go, but, like, when that particular version of it kind of, faded away, you know, again, there was a lot of different events taking place in my life that brought me down, like, really down and really low. And, so much so that I put the camera down for a year and a half. So I'd, like, stopped taking photos altogether and was just reevaluating again my life and and what I wanna do and where I wanna go. So it was really tough, but everything happens for a reason. Like, everything happens for a reason.
Mahara Wayman [00:17:41]:
It absolutely does. And, you know, I think there's a misunderstanding sometimes even when I talk to my friends and I talk about this idea of being a badass. It's there's a misunderstanding in that they think you're a badass because you've had a great life. And I'm like, no. Mhmm. We're badasses because we know we matter. And recognize that life happens, and life goes up and down. Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:03]:
We're not defined by what happens to us. We are, I think, in fact, defined by how we navigate what happens to us.
Tony X Tones [00:18:10]:
Yeah. How we respond to it. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:12]:
Right. That's that's what makes us badass, and I think it would be, unrealistic to expect that life is just shooting upwards. Right?
Tony X Tones [00:18:21]:
Right.
Mahara Wayman [00:18:22]:
I'm glad that you picked the camera back up. I wanna know when and why.
Tony X Tones [00:18:26]:
Yes. Okay. So so to continue the story, there was that year and a half where, you know, I was dealing with depression, all that kind of stuff. And, around this time, I had already graduated from York, and I started working at the city of Toronto. And I had a really I have a really good friend. He's still my friend to this day, Eric, who I did my kinesiology program with, and he ended up staying on campus for an extra year after we graduated. So it just so happens that he was going on a date at, like, the local pub area, and there was a, like, poetry event taking place. Right? And so he ends up meeting this guy from Scarborough, which is where I'm from and very proud to be from.
Tony X Tones [00:19:09]:
And he said, hey, man. I I met this really cool guy. I think you should connect with him. He's starting an open mic, in Scarborough, and you you should probably go check it out. And I was like, okay. Cool. Like and, you know, like I said, was going through a lot of different stuff. And maybe prior to that, I would never gone to an event by myself, but something just told me, like, just go check this out.
Tony X Tones [00:19:30]:
So I went, and the founder of the that organization was waiting for me at the bus stop. And I was like, that's so kind. Like, who who does that? And he escorted me into the space when he heard I was coming. And, like, I was like, this is so, wow, glamorous, I guess. You know? And, when I got into the space, it it almost, like, immediately felt like I found my tribe. Like, there was just, like, cool, young, black creatives just trying to express themselves. And I was like, man, like, you know, I've been a creative for a few years now, and I've never had friends that were like like this, like, similar to me. Right? And so, you know, it's very small at this time.
Tony X Tones [00:20:09]:
There's maybe 18 people in the space. And Randell, who's the founder, just, like, ran the event. And by the end of the event, I was like, this reminds me so much of shooting for change in the sense that it's, like, an act of service to create a space for marginalized youth to express themselves and to heal. You know? And I was so moved by it. I was just like, listen. Whatever you need, let me know. I got you. And so I started working for the organization or volunteering, I should say.
Tony X Tones [00:20:37]:
We weren't getting paid. In fact, we didn't get paid for the first three and a half years. It was strictly volunteer based. But the, I guess, the the one of the guiding principles of this organization is consistency. And so on every Sunday, we're having a meeting. Every Monday, we're hosting a open mic. And then every Tuesday, we're going to this program called site beyond site, which is helping us develop personally and spiritually. So 3 days out of the week, you know, I'm volunteering my time pretty much the whole day, more or less.
Tony X Tones [00:21:10]:
But everything feels so good and so right that I'm not questioning it. I'm just I'm just showing up every time. And I say this all to say that, like, once you know, when I went the first time, there was 18 people. By the end of that year, 300 people were attending these events. So it grew very quickly by word-of-mouth. And somewhere in between that time, you know, photographers started to show up to document the space. Like, this is, like, major. What's happening? And when I saw people like just taking photos, I was like, man, I really used to do that.
Tony X Tones [00:21:42]:
And at this time I was writing poetry. I was like singing. I was, I was like in a totally different space. But after seeing the photographers walk by, I was like, you are really passionate about that. You should probably pick up your camera again. And I did, and then I made the decision. I was like, if I pick this up again, you know, I'm older now. I have bills to pay.
Tony X Tones [00:22:02]:
I have, like, real life responsibilities. I was like, I think I have to turn this into, like, a business or something, something that generates money. And so I, you know, came up with xvxyphoto. I made the website, and I launched in 2014. And I've been running ever since, you know. It's yeah. It's been 10 years now. And I've been doing it full time, full time practicing artist.
Tony X Tones [00:22:25]:
And it's been a dream. You know? Like, all a lot of my dreams have come true through this, this idea of mine.
Mahara Wayman [00:22:32]:
So happy for you. And one of the things that I think is so that is so much fun to to experience, because I've experienced it too, is, you mentioned at the very beginning, being in the flow. Mhmm. Happiness that comes from knowing we are doing something not only that matters to us, but is making a difference in the world. It is so energizing Mhmm. That it it makes it's got like a superpower almost. I can do anything.
Tony X Tones [00:23:01]:
Yes. Yes.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:02]:
The truth. And it's part of being a badass, of course. Mhmm. But I'm curious. You mentioned earlier when you were first looking at photography that you never it never occurred to you to make a career out of it. You just didn't took for it. Mhmm. To get over that mindset because I'm an entrepreneur, and one of the most common challenges that my clients have is a money story.
Mahara Wayman [00:23:23]:
I'm not giving don't know enough to charge or any of that stuff. So walk us through, if you can, how you sort of flipped that that switch so that because I know that you're doing that that you have made money with it. You've been since for 10 years now, you've been working at it.
Tony X Tones [00:23:38]:
Yeah. I think I think do you remember I mentioned that sort of self development program that I was going to? I think it was in that program that I realized that, you know, I think but prior to that, I was telling myself that money is evil. Like, money is, like, a terrible thing. And, you know, I I identified my my foundational ideas around money. And then through through, like, self exploration and, you know, inner standing, I realized, okay, well, that perspective that I have towards money isn't gonna be sustainable for my life if I maintain it. Right? And so I actively worked on changing my attitudes towards money. And, you know, another thing that you should know about me is I'm very anti authoritative. So I was working jobs and being told what to do, and I hated it.
Tony X Tones [00:24:27]:
I hated it so much. Like, my biggest thing is, like, don't tell me what to do. And so I think when I realized, like, okay, if I actually take this idea and and start it and make it a business, then, you know, I will have the freedom to make the decisions that I wanna make, and I won't have someone on my neck telling me what to do. And so, like, those two things kinda came together, and, yeah, yeah, eventually led me to and, you know, that's after years. I started working when I was 15. So that's almost about, like, 10 years of working for someone else and making their dreams come true. I was like, no. Like, let me do this for myself.
Tony X Tones [00:25:00]:
You know? So
Mahara Wayman [00:25:02]:
So what's the biggest thing you've learned as an entrepreneur? You've been doing this all for 10 years. What is the biggest thing you've learned?
Tony X Tones [00:25:08]:
How much time you got?
Mahara Wayman [00:25:10]:
Lot lot of things. And because a lot of my entrepreneurs, I help entrepreneurs that are struggling inner work, the money limiting beliefs, the lack of, you know, not being able to set boundaries, all of that stuff. So I'm curious.
Tony X Tones [00:25:24]:
Yeah. You know, I'll say this. I I think it's about timing sometimes too. Right? Like, I think, in my twenties, I was willing to sacrifice a lot to get my business off the ground. So I was willing to do jobs that I wasn't interested in just for the sake of experience. I was like, yeah, I was allocating a lot of time towards things I didn't necessarily want to do at that time. And that that was it was rough, but also it's where I made all my mistakes, and it allowed me to show up as I am today as, like, a professional. So the first thing was, like, like, just, like, making certain sacrifices that I didn't necessarily wanna make.
Tony X Tones [00:26:06]:
Another thing is, you know, I think bookkeeping. That was, like, a a very important thing that I needed to learn early on. And thankfully, like, my dad like, my parents put up when I was 7, but I maintained a relationship with my dad. And he was really on me about bookkeeping. And so that really helped me kind of, like, understand exactly how much I'm making, how much I'm spending, all those sorts of things. And I wasn't making a lot of money. And this is why I'm saying timing. I was still living with my mom for, like, my early twenties, and I was saving up whatever I could.
Tony X Tones [00:26:40]:
But the if I started this business at the age that I'm at now, it wouldn't have been sustainable for me because I had to go through so many years of not making a lot of money. And so that's, like, my other piece of advice or biggest lesson is, like, I think you win as an entrepreneur when you don't quit. Because, yeah, I couldn't have I couldn't have imagined, like, if I just, like, thought, am I really just gonna make $30,000 a year for 10 years straight? Like, you know, I would've I would've stopped doing it. But I think the idea is there was never an option for me to stop doing this. There was just never an option in my mind. It was always and then things got better and better and better and better over time.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:22]:
I I agree with you this idea. You know? I just finished doing a master class on creating cultivating the CEO mindset.
Tony X Tones [00:27:30]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:31]:
Waiting is not in the CEO mindset. Like, it's just not an option. It's just not on the table. No. But I do appreciate your your honesty, and I it's what I say to clients as well as if you think that this is easy, it is easy. It's work.
Tony X Tones [00:27:45]:
No. Yeah. It's a lot of work. Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:27:48]:
Your biggest challenges are gonna come up and bite you as an entrepreneur. Haven't figured out your money story, it's gonna come up. If you haven't figured out how to balance your your bank account, oh my god. That's gonna come up. If you have know how to set boundaries on your time or your skills or your efforts or your day or it's all gonna come up. So let's move forward a bit. You have this amazing business, and you start to pick up clients. I met you through, an event where you talked about being abroad.
Mahara Wayman [00:28:17]:
Would you mind share telling us how you got there?
Tony X Tones [00:28:22]:
Yeah. Absolutely. So while I was doing my while I was running my business here, I had a friend that was working for this NGO called Crossroads. And, we are really close at the time, and she was just telling me, yeah. Like, I was like, what are you up to this month? She's like, oh, I'm going away. And I was like, where are you going? And she's like, I'm going to Ghana. And I was like, oh, for what? And then she told me what she was doing, and I was like, oh, that's really cool. Like, is there a way I can get involved? Basically, I asked.
Tony X Tones [00:28:48]:
And she was just like, yeah. I'll connect you to this person, and you can sit down and have a conversation. And so when we did that, I got the scope of, like, their mission statement, their mandate. And, you know, Crossroads is really about fighting against gender based violence. And, you know, at the time, that was and to this day, it was so aligned with, my photographic practice as well, because I was doing a bunch of photo series around healthy masculinities and what that looks like. And so we sat down and we're like, okay. Well, a lot of the times, the responsibility of fighting against gender based violence is on the women. But, like, what would it look like if, like, you know, men took the stand for that as well? And so we came up with the idea of creating a manual that we called boys for change that basically, we we implemented in Ghana, but it was like a very long process.
Tony X Tones [00:29:41]:
Like, we started with consulting. We flew over to Ghana. We started with consulting with youth leaders that they identified to understand the cultural context of what's happening in Ghana and the state of gender based violence. It's very different from here. And it's a little, in the past, you know, to say it nicely. And then we flew back to Toronto, and we spent a year. This is Randell and I, the founder of RISE. We spent a year, designing this manual based off of the cultural context and information that we got.
Tony X Tones [00:30:11]:
And it was very long tedious process, but, it's one of the things I'm most proud of in my life because it essentially, that manual is, like, almost like a parent. It's like, what would you do Like, how would you learn how to become a contributing man of society without sort of like that, guidance from a parent. It's all encompassed in this one thing. And, we could it's so holistic as well. It's not just about, it's like finances, it's mentality, it's emotional state, it's physical state, everything into 1. And yeah. And we brought the manual back to Ghana, and we trained educators and facilitators how to implement it. And, yeah, now it's in different schools across Accra.
Tony X Tones [00:30:55]:
We're trying to get it across the entire education system. And I just went back there literally a few weeks ago, and, we are progressing and making that an actual reality. So it's really cool.
Mahara Wayman [00:31:07]:
Well okay. Wow. So many my mind is blown. Learn about yourself as a man through this
Tony X Tones [00:31:15]:
What did I learn about myself as a man? And I'm deeply flawed. I'm deeply flawed. I'm conditioned by patriarchy, and I don't think the work ever ends. You know? I think, I was raised in a particular way, not just like through my parents, but like through my experiences in school. I think, I actually am a part of this book club. And one of the questions that they asked we're reading this book called Patriarchal Blues. And one of the questions the facilitator asked is like, how do you betray yourself, or how have you betrayed yourself in the past? And I was just, oh my god. Just flooded with memories about how, like, I never really I never really, allowed myself to be who I actually was in in my entire schooling experience.
Tony X Tones [00:32:04]:
I was, like, faking the whole thing, for the sake of, you know, fitting in for the sake of being accepted, for the sake of, like, connecting with people. And so I think when I went through designing the manual itself, I realized a lot of my flaws, like, a lot of, like, what makes me not who I wanna be, I guess. And, and not just the manual, like, my my photographic practice as well. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:32:34]:
I think thank you for sharing that. And I I think it's so important that women recognize that just because the patriarchy exists doesn't make mean that men like it.
Tony X Tones [00:32:45]:
Yeah. Absolutely.
Mahara Wayman [00:32:48]:
You've lost out as well, you being men in general. I think, you know, men have really lost out because for all these long reasons and, guys, I'm not gonna go down that road because I wanna keep this up upbeat, but I love that you allowed yourself that recognition and that those learnings. And I think that's part of being a badass is understanding, a, we have lots to learn, b Yeah. Makes us human, and, c, all we can do is our best. I I quote Maya Angelou often, but she said, when you know better, you can do better.
Tony X Tones [00:33:21]:
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Mahara Wayman [00:33:22]:
What I wanna add to that is not everybody who knows better does better. But there's I think there's a handful of people in the world that not only do better, but they choose to do better on a big scale. And I wanna a lot that what you have you and your friend have done and others that have become involved in this program is you have chosen to do better on a big scale and to make and I just wanna call that out because not all not not everybody has that within them, and it's totally okay. You know? Every action makes a difference. Mhmm. When we are called to step up and step into our greatness and make a difference on on a worldwide stage, for example, then that takes a special level of badassery, and I just wanna say thank you for that. Wow. Thank you.
Tony X Tones [00:34:10]:
Thank you for saying that. I I appreciate that. It's a very nice reminder. And I don't think, when you're doing it, you realize that. You don't realize that. I don't think so. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:22]:
I'm glad that I saw it and that I called it up, that you recognized it. Now tell us, I have seen some of your work on because I now follow you on Instagram. But I wanna go back to one of your first expositions, I guess, or or pieces. Tell me about the project itself and how it was received.
Tony X Tones [00:34:46]:
Yeah. So the series is called From Boys to Men, and there were a lot of reasons why it ended up being created, a lot of different elements that came together. And so on one level, there was, you know, my friends who are, like, women telling me that it's really hard to find and date, men in the city. It was an ongoing narrative that, like, made me realize that, like, I guess, when men engage in romantic relationships, it's really hard for them to show up, in ways that they're needed to show up, in order for it to be a successful relationship. Simultaneously, I was struggling in my own relationship. You know, I was dealing with, I had a a very long term partner, and we were you know, after a few years, you really start to get into the nooks and crannies of who you are as a person. And whenever we would have, like, really difficult conversations, I would be stifled. Like, she would ask me a question.
Tony X Tones [00:35:44]:
I I wouldn't know how to answer it. And so it made me really curious about, what that roadblock was. Like, what it what was that that was preventing me from, answering those questions? And I used that exhibition and series to explore that. And so I was, like, conducting interviews, you know, with other, like, black men. I was, doing therapy. I was investigating myself. You know? I was, you know, photographic. Like, it wasn't just about doing a photo shoot.
Tony X Tones [00:36:13]:
Like, I would actually sit down with the people that I'm photographing and have lengthy, deep conversations about, our inner workings, you know, and why we are the way we are. And so it just became this whole like, it's just more than a photo project. It was just like, I don't know, a way of exploring my own identity, I guess. And so I shot for the first, I think, year or 2. I took photographs from, like, 2017 to 2016 to 2018. Didn't use any of those images because I didn't feel like it spoke to what I wanted to do. So that's, like, so much research went into it. And then from 2018 to 2019, I applied to Nuit Blanche, which is, like, one of the biggest visual art festivals in in Toronto, and I got into it.
Tony X Tones [00:37:00]:
And when I did the application, the questions were so investigative. They were so curious that it actually helped me build the framework for the project. And then I shot everything after that and debuted in October of 2019. And, honestly, it was one of the most successful nights of my life. You know? I think, first of all, it debuted in Scarborough, so Nibelung showed up in Scarborough for the first time. Really exciting. And it got a crazy audience. And so from 7 PM to 7 AM, almost 5,000 people viewed the exhibition.
Tony X Tones [00:37:32]:
Yeah. It was very, very crazy. Yeah. So and I was there the whole night. Right? So I'm talking to people. I'm engaging with them. But I think, like, the most remarkable thing was that there in that space that I created, there was no, there were no social concepts that stood in the way. And so I say when I say that, I mean, there was no race barriers.
Tony X Tones [00:37:54]:
There were no age barriers. Like, I spoke to children as young as, like, 7 or 8 years old, and I spoke to seniors as old as 70 80 years old. And everyone had something to say about the images because there was also if you can imagine a triangular panel, there were 2 images on one side, and on the third side was, text that supported the images. After people read the text and then saw the images, it created so much conversation that people ended up staying for hours. People didn't leave. Like, typically, you go check something out. You leave after 15, 20 minutes. People stayed for hours.
Tony X Tones [00:38:30]:
Everyone had, questions that they wanted to talk about with me, how it resonated in their own personal life. Couples were there having real hard discussions in the middle of the exhibition. It was so powerful, and it made me realize how needed it was. And, I decided to make it an ongoing series, and so there's been a few iterations of this project, already.
Mahara Wayman [00:38:52]:
Wow. Congratulations. What came through so loud and clear was a reminder that art speaks to people.
Tony X Tones [00:39:01]:
Mhmm. Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:03]:
This is a conversation that is obviously desperately needed in our world today. Mhmm. And so how great that you gave them a space to do that.
Tony X Tones [00:39:12]:
Yeah. It was it was such a blessing, and and, yeah, I really felt the power of art that night. I will say that for sure.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:18]:
I also wanna call out I don't know. You guys listening? You've heard how many times he said the word curious. He's a curious guy, and but curiosity is such a beautiful foundation for being a badass because just the word itself propels you forward. You're curious. You open the door. You step up. You look around the corner. You look behind you.
Mahara Wayman [00:39:36]:
You look in. You look out. So I think I think your curiosity has served you well. Where will your curiosity take you next, my friend?
Tony X Tones [00:39:45]:
Oh, man. That's a great question. I think, you know, as as as I am now, I was actually just having a conversation with my partner about this. I'm, like, really happy with what I've done in the photography space. You know, I in the past couple of years, I've stepped into the curation space of, like, facilitating art experiences for other artists, which I really enjoy. Because I'm just really passionate about the arts in general. But I think there's a part of me that wants to take on a new medium. Like, I would love to get into, painting.
Tony X Tones [00:40:20]:
I would love to get into sculptures. I would love to just, like, try and explore something new, just for the sake of it, like, with no expectation of, like, becoming this world renowned artist. Just for the sake of yeah. I don't know. I think curiosity has always kind of led me into the right spaces of my life. So, and there's something to say about doing things without expecting results. So yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:43]:
Good for you because I have fallen into the trap of doing things for results. Mhmm. And it's it has led me down a dark hole that didn't wasn't one place to be. So I'd love to see to your I mean, you're a grown man, but you the way that you described it was very childlike. I just wanna do it because it's fun. It's almost my hands in the mud like the dogs. Right? My dogs love to get wet just because it's fun. I wouldn't be surprised, though, and I wanna go on record as saying, whatever you do next, I wouldn't be surprised if it ended ended up being something that was, like, just painting and somebody bought it for, like, 5 or $10.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:15]:
It's crazy. But I do love I do love your your energy around being curious and also being inquisitive. I use that word. It's it's not the same as curious. I see the word inquisitive, especially when it's directed towards self, as being even more powerful than curious because inquisitive is I am curious, but I also wanna know I wanna understand even more, like, go on a deeper level. So I I applaud that.
Tony X Tones [00:41:46]:
Can I add to that too? I think inquisitive, like, at least for me personally, it it also includes being willing to fail, being willing to, like, look like a fool, being being willing to be embarrassed. Like, all those sorts of things, like, I think are a part of being inquisitive because you're trying to understand the full scope of something. You know?
Mahara Wayman [00:42:07]:
It's like a child doesn't beat itself up when it makes a mistake because it's like, oh, that's how you do it. Yeah. Pissed mom off. Come on. Do that again.
Tony X Tones [00:42:18]:
Exactly. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:42:21]:
But we learn to be embarrassed in all of those things. So learning to go through life with inquisitiveness and curiosity without the judgment, fear, and shame, really, I think, is a recipe for happiness.
Tony X Tones [00:42:34]:
Mhmm.
Mahara Wayman [00:42:35]:
It's hard for most of us to do that, though. Right? But that's okay. That's why we have therapists. That's why we have coaches. That's That's why we have visual artists that make us think.
Tony X Tones [00:42:43]:
Exactly.
Mahara Wayman [00:42:44]:
Well, I, for 1, can't wait to see what you end up doing next. And as I said, we are connected on IG, so I'm gonna be keeping keeping watch on my feed. Anything else that you'd like to leave our audience with today with regards to any of the work that you've done or any of the any of the biggest lessons that you'd like to share that perhaps you haven't brought up already?
Tony X Tones [00:43:03]:
Yeah. Yeah. I actually thought about this while while this was happening is, you know, I think when it comes to entrepreneurship, I think a lot of the thoughts that go into it are, like, you need to exclusively work on your business. It's all about scaling your business, growing your business, all those sorts of things. But I actually think the way I, pursue entrepreneurship, it's actually a healthy balance between self development and the development of the business itself. So half of my time is going towards developing what I'm doing, my practice, all those sorts of things. But the other half is really about becoming more of myself, you know, really discovering who I am. And I think it helps grow the business.
Tony X Tones [00:43:45]:
It's not just about figuring out who you are. I think it also, like, really helps grow how you show up, with your business and with your art and your practice. So I'll say that. Last thing I'll say too is I'm really excited. There's a a documentary coming out about my life this year, covering the 15 years. Yeah. So, it's called Drawing with Lights. I'm really looking forward to that, but maybe, that'll be just like an exclusive for the listeners because we'll make a public announcement down the road.
Tony X Tones [00:44:14]:
So yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:15]:
That's very exciting. And I love that you highlighted that your business your business will grow outwardly as you grow inwardly, as we grow inwardly. And I I think there is a direct correlation. And, actually, the underlying message in my in the work that I do I do I have a group program. Mhmm. But it is this idea that if you want to have a badass business, you gotta be badass first.
Tony X Tones [00:44:39]:
Yeah. Exactly.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:41]:
Yourself a 100% and be be open and honest and vulnerable with your journey because it will be reflected in your business in some form or another. So thank you for sharing that. It's good to know that that my thoughts are in good company. I have good company with my thoughts. Yeah.
Tony X Tones [00:44:55]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:56]:
I can't thank you enough for this conversation. I've enjoyed every minute of it. Do keep us posted.
Tony X Tones [00:45:01]:
We do.
Mahara Wayman [00:45:01]:
You're up for another session on a podcast further down the road. You know where to reach me because I know that our listeners have enjoyed hearing your story and recognizing perhaps actions that they could take in their lives to help move through any challenges that they may be having. Thanks again for joining us.
Tony X Tones [00:45:18]:
Thank you for having me, and thank you for having me as your first male guest. That really means a lot to me.
Mahara Wayman [00:45:22]:
I really I'm so excited. This has been the Art of Badass Read. That's it for now. Thanks, guys. Thanks for tuning in to another badass episode. Your means the world to me. So if you enjoyed what you heard today, don't forget to like, share, and rate the episode on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback keeps the badassery flowing.
Mahara Wayman [00:45:48]:
And, hey, if you're ready to unleash your inner badass and conquer whatever life throws your way, why not book a complimentary badass breakthrough session? Just click the link in the show notes to schedule your session, and let's kick some serious butt together. Until next time, stay fearless, stay fabulous, and of course, stay badass. This is Mahara signing off.
