Mahara Wayman [00:00:05]:
Welcome to the art of badassery where I explore what it takes to live life on your own terms, break free from the status quo, and unleash your inner badass. Whether you're a rebel at heart or simply seeking inspiration to step outside your comfort zone, this podcast is for you. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman. And each week, I dive into the stories, insights, and strategies of those who've mastered the art of badassery and are living life to the fullest. They smile when no one is lucky. Welcome to the art of badassery. I'm your host, Mahara Wayman. And today, I have a truly inspiring guest, Whitney Riley.
Mahara Wayman [00:00:50]:
Whitney grew up as a Footloose and Happy Kid, always adventurous and entrepreneurial, dreaming big early on. Her journey took her from an aspiring actress to a physics major, eventually earning a degree in artwork after discovering her love of art. Life's challenges led Whitney to uncover a hidden reservoir of badassery, which is why she's here today, Transforming her path once more. With 25 years experience as a transformational mentor, she has helped countless people turn their lives around from relationships and health to financial freedom and happiness. Whitney is a certified EFT practitioner, founder of the specific meditation technique, and author of 2 insightful books. She's dedicated to helping others live their best lives and has even been blessed by the Dalai Lama. I wanna hear about that. She's also been nominated by a client for a Nobel Prize.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:46]:
I'm beyond thrilled to have her on the show today. Whitney, welcome to the show. Can't wait to jump in and start chatting.
Whitney Riley [00:01:54]:
Hi. Thank you so much for having me.
Mahara Wayman [00:01:57]:
Well, my goodness. So much juiciness there. What I find incredibly uplifting is the fact that you often my my my guests have had really challenging childhoods and lives. And I was so I was so pleased to see that you had a great childhood. You were happy, vivacious, outgoing. Tell us about that though because I think regardless of our upbringing, our childhoods hold a very powerful mirror on who we end up being as adults.
Whitney Riley [00:02:27]:
Yeah. I I think there's some places and I think all of our childhoods where we could focus on the hard parts. And I definitely had my fair share, but they they weren't, like, so extreme. And I think I was blessed with just a love of happiness and parents who let us want run wild. You know, generation x. Right? Like, where are the parents? But, like, they did it with love, not so much abandonment. And they one of the things I remember my father saying was, we give you freedom because we respect you and trust you. And we take it away if you don't manage it well.
Whitney Riley [00:03:04]:
And I remember somewhere along the way thinking, I'm not sure that was responsible, but it's a good idea, but, you know Oh, I love it. Can handle that. But, yeah. I, you know, I was dyslexic, and I think I got some grief over that. I was overweight. I think I got some grief about that, but I think I had I don't know if I had really good guardian angels or just this, zest for the joy and the fun? And so I just was able to kind of go, yeah, whatever, and keep finding joy and happiness.
Mahara Wayman [00:03:36]:
Was there ever something that you couldn't do that with?
Whitney Riley [00:03:41]:
I mean, I think there were some moments where I didn't understand people's behavior. Crazy story. Like, 4th grade had this romance, madly in love with this guy. And we got married on, the playground at recess. Remember the the bottle cup where you, like, pull the lid off and it had a little ring instead of the ones that are attached? So we used that as a wedding ring. And then I guess it was a few days later few weeks later, I mean, this is a really long time ago. But, I was kind of ganged up on and, like, a little bit beat up. And some girls even, like, rubbed my face in the dirt.
Whitney Riley [00:04:18]:
And I remember being heartbroken, really sad, and crying my mom about it and being so confused. And I look back at it now and I think they were jealous. But it never occurred to me because I I think and I still feel this way. There there's enough for all of us. Like you know? And I think they were like, well, she's overweight, and she's not whatever, and she has what I want. And they couldn't square their own insecurities or their own inability to move over whatever hump. And and I'm not trying to throw shade. So, yeah, there was wow.
Whitney Riley [00:04:53]:
I don't know if I've ever talked about this moment, but it was I think about it often. You know?
Mahara Wayman [00:04:57]:
Yeah. And thank you for sharing. And what what came up for me as a reminder, and I'm I'm quite ashamed to share this on one level. On the other hand, I'm like, it's meant to be told. What came up for me was the the gang mentality that still that is a part of human nature. And when I was a little girl, 1st or second year living in Canada, there was a girl in in my our class that everybody for whatever reason, she was the chosen one to be ridiculed and and for us to be mean to. And I remember one day, the whole it seemed like the whole of grade 7. Grade grade 6 maybe.
Mahara Wayman [00:05:38]:
Just just beat up. And we didn't physically beat up on her, but we chased her around the school. And I have no idea why my friends and I joined. This this is just like, oh, everybody's doing this. But I remember right afterwards, and she was crying. It was I felt terrible. I don't think my friends and I told anybody. We didn't tell our parents, but I've held on to that shame for a long time.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:04]:
And just hearing you I mean, I haven't spoken about this in 50 years. Just hearing you say that has brought it up for me. But I think it's it's a reminder that we are all doing our best with what we have in the moment, even that 10 year old girl. Yeah. You know, even even in grade 4 and the girls that that did this to you. So Yeah. Well, who knew that that story was gonna come up? Wow.
Whitney Riley [00:06:30]:
I didn't. I had no idea.
Mahara Wayman [00:06:32]:
It was obviously meant to come up.
Whitney Riley [00:06:34]:
Well, what's really interesting about this is, you know, we were kind of on opposite sides of that story and mine wasn't like pervasive. It happened it was kind of like a acute situation. Right? We're a little and we're on this path and we keep moving and recreating and learning. Right? There wasn't really anything innately wrong in that except for the fact that there's hurt and then shame that stays stuck. You know, you didn't do it really to be mean. You did it to whatever drew you in. Right? And you quickly have a lesson. Right? And that is the power of an unfolding life.
Whitney Riley [00:07:21]:
It is to have the experience, not to be the experience. And when we start taking it as a shame, it starts to stick onto our identity. And then we gotta kinda work around that, you know, for the rest of our lives. Up until now, you just get emotional about it because it's still in your tissues.
Mahara Wayman [00:07:41]:
I will say that one of the most challenging things for me to wrap my head around as an adult, and I think I perhaps I'm still working on that, is this understanding that life happens for us, not to us. And while I was when I was young, my father in particular was very grounded. And I lived my life very much with the understanding that I was a spiritual being having a human existence to ask for help. I had spirit guides. The universe was and it was made up of energies, like, all of that stuff. That was from my teenage years until about 25. Then when I stopped sort of being hanging around my parents that much, I kinda, you know, sort of forgot about it, to be honest. Now I'm back in that that level of understanding.
Mahara Wayman [00:08:26]:
But when it was first brought to my attention maybe 5 years ago, oh, you know that life happens for us, not to us, My first reaction was, what the fuck are you talking about? What happens? And it can be really shitty. Like, I didn't understand. And I'm only just now really begin really beginning to see the truth of that statement, which goes back to what you said, which is every everything that happens is an opportunity for growth. It's not that there is somebody sitting on a chair going, you're a naughty girl, and I'm gonna spank you from the heavens. It's like, hey. What do you need to learn in this moment? And will you learn it? And now I know that if you don't learn it, it's just gonna keep happening.
Whitney Riley [00:09:07]:
Right. Right. And if and if we stay stuck in the shame, we bury it, and we can't then transmute that into the whole consciousness of the human experience. And then we really have to keep learning that.
Mahara Wayman [00:09:20]:
Yeah. Okay. So we did jump ahead regardless. What a great interviewer. Let's go back. You wanted to be an actress, and you wanted to be a physics major. Talk about the epiphany that you had when you picked up was it pen, paper, paintbrush?
Whitney Riley [00:09:36]:
So, yeah, I I'd always people were always like, oh, you're a great artist from forever. My mom had a drawing when I was 5 years old and she was on the phone and she she's like, don't interrupt me. And so I went and I drew a picture because it was urgent. I communicated, but the cat had scratched my nose. And she kept this picture and she was like, oh my god. You know, it told the whole story. So whether it was true about my innate talent or just the people who chose to recognize that in me, I pushed it away. I don't wanna be penniless, cut off my ear, you know.
Whitney Riley [00:10:09]:
I joined the myth about, you know, the futility of art or how it wasn't important. And I was 24, it was right before my dad died. And I gave myself permission to take an art class at a community college. I was still studying physics at university. And before my first painting was done, I like, the world tilted on its axis and I really felt this shift. Like, I had stepped into an alternate reality and I knew I needed to do this. And I had no idea why. And I made up story.
Whitney Riley [00:10:41]:
Maybe I'm gonna do, illustrate children's books. I I just was, like, throwing things. Because, like, how how does this work for me? Right? Not just following the whim. And with panic and anxiety outside of an anxiety disorder that I was diagnosed with, I changed my major. And I kinda went for it trusting that somehow it was going to make sense.
Mahara Wayman [00:11:08]:
Wow. Okay. So physics, goodbye. Artwork, hello. And where have you taken your artwork?
Whitney Riley [00:11:18]:
For time, I, graduated. I founded many groups. One was artists, a group called Feedback, where people would come and continue to practice showing slides of this goes back, slides of their work and, discussing it. Because right when you right after you graduate, there's kind of a void. You throw yourself looking for shows or communities, and you don't get that sort of, feedback. And and, you know, because it's a very isolating, career. You usually work alone in a studio, and most people are like, oh, you're an artist. You're this, that, and all this projection.
Whitney Riley [00:11:56]:
And so we started that. Then I was a part of a few other art communities. 1, there was this diabolical woman who was taking over this nonprofit communal art space that was a warehouse, probably not the legal situation. Because people were living there, But she took it over, and there was all this hullabaloo, and we had the secret meeting at my apartment, and 13 of us thought back. We were gonna take it back over. Didn't work out, so we went and founded a new place called Box 13. It's still there today, and, it was an open door studio space. So all 13 of us had our studios, and we have 5 exhibition spaces.
Whitney Riley [00:12:38]:
And it was amazing. It was it was lovely as 13 because there were 13 of us that sort of survived that whole turn of events. Solo shows was, voted best artist 1 year and best installation. So I had a lot of success, in that section of my life.
Mahara Wayman [00:13:00]:
Who were you as the artist? Describe Whitney, the artist.
Whitney Riley [00:13:04]:
I think who I am when I look back it's funny. I haven't talked about this a long time. I love these questions. I think at the beginning, I I wasn't an artist. I said, I will I won't call myself an artist until I don't know what I can't even go back to what that I felt so separate from the idea of artist because most people have been studying art their whole lives where I have been pushing it away. You know, like, physics and then art. What's the common ground? And by the way, there's a million pieces where they go together, and we could talk about that. But so I pushed it away until, I guess, there was some outside source that validated me enough to say I was an artist.
Whitney Riley [00:13:45]:
And I think it motivated me to do a lot of things. But who I am as an artist and still am as an artist is someone that chases the idea, I think. Because I did femininity, myth, and iconography. This, you know, this project that took me 4 years where I painted Sports Illustrated swimsuit models, exact pose, exact, position bathing suit, but then I also got media that was domestic. And I merged the 2 also not altering that. So it was designed to bring things to the forefront without anger. You know? Think of these the femininity myth and iconography. Right? Like, the domestic goddess and the sex goddess.
Whitney Riley [00:14:33]:
And we're instantly born into a world where this is just laid on top of us, and we have to navigate how we're going to orchestrate that. And you can get both of them at the same time from the same person.
Mahara Wayman [00:14:44]:
Did people get it?
Whitney Riley [00:14:47]:
It was fun because some people were like, oh my god. Will you paint me? And they they delighted in the deliciousness of it, the intoxication of it, and wanted to put themselves into it. This one guy, and I was like, he's so smart. He came up to me and he looked at the painting. He looked at me and he goes, you really don't have a high opinion of men, do you? And I was like, wow. I mean, he took it way more personally than I and I didn't and I was on the radio NPR after the, an interview. And the host was a man. And he goes, so who are you to be at the forefront of the second wave of the feminine, feminist movement? And I remember, like, my mouth opening.
Whitney Riley [00:15:26]:
I was like, well, I didn't think that was my objective, but I could see where it fits in the dialogue. I just didn't wanna burn my bra, You know? Like, that people blaze the trail for me to have the freedoms. And then, you know, there were the art about, like, the tampons and the this and, you know, the feminine experience. And I was like, just look, guys. Like, we're smart. Just look. Don't you see the incongruencies so we can then just elevate to the next place?
Mahara Wayman [00:15:53]:
My understanding of of an artist, whether they call themselves whether we called ourselves artists or not, is that we artists use their creativity to tell a story and invite introspection for the world, whatever the medium. And I don't think artists need to be consciously at the forefront of any movement, for example. But if when we allow ourselves to speak our truth, whether we it's through art or speech or podcast or whatever, then we are given the world an opportunity to question. So it sounds I wanna see these pieces.
Whitney Riley [00:16:35]:
I you know, I have a website and it, like, went down. It's still there. I have to bring it up. I'm anyway, it's on Facebook. I can send them. So wait
Mahara Wayman [00:16:42]:
a second. Before you before you go on, what did you learn about yourself during this phase?
Whitney Riley [00:16:46]:
That's what I was gonna say. So I think the whole point of this and I have done, like, the the work I got the most, accolades for. I sewed a room together. It's called my belter show, and it's about our worldview where each little moment, including this moment with us together, becomes a stitch in this emotional psychological skeleton that we greet the world with and shapes how we see the world. And it's not always true. Right? It's not always true. So I've and I just finished 47 paintings in a collaboration honoring our friend who died early, who was a poet and his last book of poetry was published right after he died. He saw it.
Whitney Riley [00:17:27]:
But and so we were at a reading and we I was like, we need to paint all 47 of these poems. And that took us 5 years. Was it 5 years or 4 years? I don't know. It was a long time. That that website's a band of artist project dot com. So all of my art, including now, is generally housed around this idea. And the girl going back to the girls, I think I was exercising my own insecurities in a world where something said I needed to be something else to be loved. And that I found the magazine and the boyfriend at the time, he had this little back man bare bathroom, and it was on the back of the toilet.
Whitney Riley [00:18:04]:
And I stole it and I sat in my studio and I was like, I need to make art about this, but I don't want it to be angry because I find it beautiful too. I have fantasized about my version of this. But then there's the part where I'm not good enough because my thighs don't look like that or my hair is not flowing in a tropical wind. And then I was like, oh my gosh. Little boys are set up for disappointment. Also, if they think this is the real prize, then it's photoshopped, and we don't need to go down. You know, everything is, you know, filters now, and it's just we are designed to respond to images and that's why advertisement works even though we know it's advertisement. You know? And so this image is setting both little boys and little girls up for failure.
Whitney Riley [00:18:52]:
If they don't question what real happiness is. And that's the connection. That's the love. That's the joy. I mean, you weigh £400 and if you go have somebody that you wanna go jump off a cliff into the water and scream with delight and pleasure being alive, that is amazing. And you should never not do that because you're not in a little tiny bikini.
Mahara Wayman [00:19:13]:
It's such a difficult message to swallow no matter how you come at it, I think. And, you know, I've got girls that are 21 and 26, and we have all struggled with our body image on on some level. We've all questioned what do I really need to be that person in order to be loved or to have get attention or to do well in the world. I allowed myself to be in a in a corporate role for years that I actually felt quite uncomfortable with, but I was faking it because it was a good job. Right? And I was told I was doing a good job. And, I mean, I I I enjoyed many aspects of it. But there were times when I would walk into a a a meeting, for example, and I would be like, I shouldn't be here. I don't know what they're talking about.
Mahara Wayman [00:20:02]:
I I I'm not enough to be sitting at this table, which, of course, was complete bullshit, but I still felt it. Even as a well adjusted, accomplished, happily married woman with 2 beautiful children, I still had these doubts that would come up and bite me. And I I wasn't able to recognize it until I left that world and started doing the work that I'm doing now. Okay. Let's jump ahead. When did you start being a practitioner of EFT?
Whitney Riley [00:20:28]:
Legit, officially certified on the outside, right, out of the closet, about 10 about 10 years ago. And before that, I was doing it on the download. But so go back even further. 24, all of a sudden, I went from being my normal way of being to being something's wrong, and I couldn't figure it out. And it took me, a lot of money I didn't have, a lot of angst, a lot of fear, getting yelled at by the medical community, like, you're fine. What's wrong with you? To finally being diagnosed with panic disorder. Basically, I was have it's like anxiety but on steroids. Like, having panic attacks every 7 minutes at one point.
Whitney Riley [00:21:13]:
It was it was rough just as anyone who's been through it knows. It's just wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. But through all of that, one, my mother already had Alzheimer's, and we had kind of been misdiagnosed because it was very early for her. So there was a lot of chaos, insanity, mismanagement of that, And I thought, gosh, I might have to kill myself. Like, there you know, she already has all these needs. Like, there can't be another one of us that's incapable. I mean, that's how bad the anxiety was. I took one pill.
Whitney Riley [00:21:53]:
When I finally got diagnosed, they gave me a case of Zoloft, bottles of Zoloft, case of bought lot of Zoloft, and then sent me on my way. I took one pill. I woke up the next morning, and I was like, yeah. No. And I threw it all in the trash. And as I swirled in all of that, my anxiety and fear about, like, I losing control. You know? Losing control. Your autonomy, your ability to take care you know, you all the scariest stuff that you can think about.
Whitney Riley [00:22:19]:
And then my mother, I saw this picture in my mind's eye of a little spot of light. I was like, this is just the dark valley of the night. Hold on. There's something on the other side. Got a little emotional. And I just started looking and listening and experimenting. Yoga was my first savior. Meditation, finding out how I could meditate with ADHD type brain, and then sharing that with others when I would have these big wins.
Whitney Riley [00:22:51]:
And, you know, I didn't stop with my story being I have to jump from medication to medication and be afraid that my chemistry is gonna go off, and then the medication's not you you could however that story goes. And I am not against medication. I'm not saying anybody should consider that. It just wasn't my path. But because of that, I opened up to all of these things. And some I thought, I'm not ready for this. This is weird. And EFT was a little bit of that at first.
Whitney Riley [00:23:21]:
And I was like, well, maybe I'll be the swing door for the next generation to know there's hope, to know there's options, that you can be healed as fast as you can be hurt, and it just kept building. And then, of course, when it's building, you're gonna have more traumatizing experiences that knock you off your block and go, are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure? And so I had to just keep reaffirming, and I got an autoimmune disorder that was painful and disfiguring, had no name and no cure, just kind of chasing symptoms. And I went into the bath, into the specific thought meditation. It's like, is this life threatening? No. So there's gotta be a way. And my friend brought in EFT. She was a stage, 4 cancer survivor of 20 years. We're in an art opening.
Whitney Riley [00:24:07]:
My hands swelled up like a Mickey Mouse thing. Like, somebody blew it up, and she looked over. She's like, oh my god. And I was like, ah, in so much pain. She dragged me from the art show to a bookstore and, introduced Luisa Hay. You can heal your life. Yeah. Well, and I had and I was like, no.
Whitney Riley [00:24:24]:
I'm not doing self help. My parents are self help and they're both dead. No. So I was like crawling on the floor ashamed, and I wrote a few, like edema, pain, and I wrote a few of the affirmations down, but I did not buy the book. And then her other friend brought EFT. At the the second episode after that, my foot was like elephant man. And I used both of those things and it went away and it has never come back. And I bought now 20 copies of Louisa Hey, by the way.
Whitney Riley [00:24:52]:
I give them out like candy. Yeah. One of
Mahara Wayman [00:24:54]:
the greatest books ever. She was one of the first books that I was introduced to in my twenties. So 30 almost 40 years ago. And I was, at that time, so open to everything. I never even questioned it. I'm like, okay. Affirmations. I can heal my life.
Mahara Wayman [00:25:10]:
Why is my finger hurting? Right finger, and I'd look it up. I mean so, yeah, she's it's an amazing book. Can you tell us just explain EFT first. Because as I said, I recognize the the word the term, but some of my listeners may not. So just give us a down and dirty on what you're actually talking about there.
Whitney Riley [00:25:28]:
Alright. EFT is emotional freedom technique. It was founded by Gary Craig, who is a hedge fund dude who happened to go to Roger Callahan's seminar and Bot Field Therapy where he used the meridians to heal this woman of, tremendous phobia of water. Like, a drop of water was too much. And he did this algorithm on meridians, which are acupuncture lines. And at these particular points, there are vascular bundles. And they are related to each organ. Anyway, and the under the eye is the stomach organ, and it was very complicated.
Whitney Riley [00:26:07]:
But he healed her using this so fast that she got up, ran out of his office or the room, and jumped in the swimming pool, the story goes. Right? So he has this seminar, Gary Craig shows up and he's the only one who shows up. He teaches in thought field therapy and Gary Craig goes, hey, why make it so complicated? Why don't you just do a basic recipe and hit all these spots for any issue. Beer, blocks, you know, now it's you know, people are using it for post traumatic stress, for I mean, just for any for limiting beliefs, for also tapping in more joy, happiness, and, like, the good stuff. Not just exercising the bad stuff, but, like, amplifying life, right, that we tend to squeeze out of ourselves. So by using these mostly 9, there are others, and then finger and some attach on things and lots of creativity now over the years, You can go get certified, which if you're interested, I highly recommend. It's really if you don't end up being a practitioner, very reasonable, but then you can really understand what you're doing. Or go find somebody to help you do it.
Whitney Riley [00:27:21]:
My mentor I have a mentor now in order to to keep your certification, and she says this. If you wanna move it, like, trim the bush, do it yourself. If you wanna uproot the plant, go seek professional assistance. I don't know. Is that enough? Does that kinda I know we both know what it is. So for your listeners, do you think that explains it a little bit?
Mahara Wayman [00:27:44]:
Well, they may have heard it just basically tapping. Yes. Like, there's there's there's meridian you know, head, eyebrows, the side, the ta, uh-uh.
Whitney Riley [00:27:53]:
The Eyebrow is right where it starts on the side of your eye. And then, not back by the temple, but up on the orbital bone tip side of the eye. Same bone underneath. If you're looking forward where you're under your pupils, under your nose, just right under your nose in between your lip and your nose. Chin is the little crease in your no in your chin. Collarbone is right under your clavicle bone on either side. Some people do it like this. I'm not sure that really works for me, but I say it.
Whitney Riley [00:28:23]:
Some people do it. Most people then switch to the side of the body where kinda like where your bra strap is. It's kind of a hand with down, but I use the rib point. And it's a little hard to I don't know if you can see, but it's basically under your nipple line. Think back, you know, in your early twenties. And then, like, I think it's about 3 or 4 ribs up. But if you were wearing a bra, it would probably be right on your bra line. Guys, it's, like, right under your pectoral muscle.
Whitney Riley [00:28:55]:
And that is linked to your liver Meridian, which is linked to anger, which I think society like, almost all societies have a way of being angry and then saying I'm not angry. Disavowing anger, not allowing anger. And anger is part of your wheel of emotions and you get to have it. And if you don't own your anger, then you don't know when something doesn't feel fair. And then we act out in anger and we never get our needs met. Anger is a vicious cycle. Right? Well, they all are really. But yeah.
Mahara Wayman [00:29:29]:
I mean, it begs the question, when did we stop allowing ourselves to be human? When did we buy into the BS that we have to it's bad to feel angry. It's that's bad emotion. Like, I I don't get these bad and good emotions. I mean, I still I still succumb to it. But it's also what I'm finding now in my work and even with my children is I'll say to them, what exactly are you trying to say to me? Use your language. Right? We we become, I think, very lazy as as a society, especially when we're texting and and the emojis and stuff. But love the I love language, especially when we give ourselves permission to really say what we're feeling. Because if we can't recognize and articulate what we're feeling, we are missing half of our half of the opportunity to communicate.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:17]:
Right? And we fall into the trap of just making either assumptions or labeling ourselves in a way that doesn't honor our journey.
Whitney Riley [00:30:26]:
Or having the emotion and then going around the house of the emotion to try and get to the other side, hoping you can so it's almost like a passive aggressive thing. So hoping to get your needs met without owning or even contemplating where you are. So everything comes out sideways.
Mahara Wayman [00:30:49]:
Yeah. Or even articulating what your needs are.
Whitney Riley [00:30:52]:
But whoever at whoever helped you articulate that? Whoever sat you down and said, wow. I can see you're having a feeling that looks like it's kinda too big for you. Let's explore some possible what if some of let's explore some possible we're talking about language. Right? Emotions. It could be frustration. Maybe it's disappointment. What if you're befuddled? A great word. And you're and and in that state of being befuddled, you don't know how to fix what's the next thing underneath it.
Whitney Riley [00:31:25]:
So that's the first book I wrote. It's called emotional super du fillet, and it's positioned out, in, down, under directions, right, with groupings of words for emotions and their definition. And it has a tapping script. So, basically, how do you make tapping where you don't have to really understand it? You don't have to know the whole Gary Craig or Roger Callahan story. It's like aspirin. You know? We don't necessarily have to know who invented it or why it works. We just
Mahara Wayman [00:31:50]:
go, oh my god.
Whitney Riley [00:31:51]:
I have a headache. I take aspirin. So the idea was all the emotions and then a quick script. Pick your three emotions after trying to figure it out, and then use that to help you over or to the next emotion. Right?
Mahara Wayman [00:32:05]:
So so good. Okay. So that was book number 1. You've written a you 2. What was your second book about?
Whitney Riley [00:32:11]:
That one just came out this year. It's make everything easier. Get what you want by healing hidden resistance. So circling back to our impromptu story that we both didn't know we were gonna share about being 4 and, 12. All your body, your mind has stored every event that has ever happened to you in the context of your you how you it hit you, right or wrong. You know? Whether there's a you know, there are people who get abused all their lives and they're they come out and they're just like, you know, it just doesn't linger. It makes them stronger, better, faster, whatever. And there's some people who get abused and they just stay small and keep inviting the abusers in.
Whitney Riley [00:32:49]:
Right? So you don't really have control. And you can have the best parents ever and just have just a crunchy life or the best parents ever and, like, then stand on their shoulders. So this is not to blame anyone, I guess, is the short story of that. But these hidden parts now work in opposition and keep us you know, you were talking about being in a board room and you are so accomplished and married, check. Beautiful children, check. Gorgeous woman, check. Smart, invited in. People want to know my opinion, check.
Whitney Riley [00:33:23]:
And yet there's a part that goes right? That part makes sense. It's just on a different timeline. Our amygdala, brain stem, or body doesn't tell time. It doesn't know that you are now here. It says I sense this potential disaster happening. Maybe my reputation getting dinged, who knows? It has a reason. You go back and you look at it, it's reason, you go, oh my god, sweetheart you make sense. And you fractured off to keep me safe by treating yourself because that's the only thing that you had control over.
Whitney Riley [00:33:59]:
And you've been doing that in the dark ever since to keep me safe. And I've never come back to say thank you. I've never come back to say how beautiful and strong and resourceful you are. I never come came back to let you off the hook. But look, look at what you did. You got me here. You've got me here and I'm here. So now I'm coming back for you and to bring you into my heart into the lightness of who I am so you can create the world where you can run free and just be a child.
Whitney Riley [00:34:30]:
And that makes everything easier because you're not white knuckling against yourself anymore. You keep the superpowers of survival and now you're partners, and you never walk alone again.
Mahara Wayman [00:34:42]:
So so juicy. And, I mean, it's it's a lot of very similar to the work that I do with clients when we do compassionate self forgiveness, and we identify where the where this belief may have come from. And it's so interesting because almost everybody, when I when we're doing this, they have it's not a it's not like a they don't know, oh, this particular incident from my childhood, you know, is the is the culprit. But when you are in a relaxed state, when you ask your higher self for guidance, when you just relax and let go, there's always something. No one has ever not been able to say, oh, this this memory has come up. And I I experienced it that way as well when when I was I had help looking at my money story. It was almost I I've experienced past life regression. And on a side note, I did it as a lark because I was just so inquisitive.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:35]:
I went in there determined to prove this person a charlatan, and I'm like, I'm gonna I'm gonna so get this girl. Like, I had $40 to spare. This was, 58. Easily, I was, like, maybe 21. So we're going back to
Whitney Riley [00:35:50]:
first. This early.
Mahara Wayman [00:35:51]:
Oh, yeah. This was a long time ago. I in my twenties, when I met or I got into Louise Hay, my dad was meditating. I started meditation. I decided to do this. And I went into it fully thinking, I have no idea what this is about. I think it's a lot of crap, but it I'm good for a laugh. Like, I'm anyway, she was counting and having me relax.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:10]:
And she said, I'm not gonna I asked her, are are you hypnotizing me? And she goes, no. I'm just gonna help you remember something. And I'm like, oh, that's weird. But she she was running through relaxation techniques that I was very familiar with because I had been in in theater school. And I remember thinking, k. This is such malarkey because I'm walking down the stairs. I'm counting. I'm being quiet.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:34]:
I'm be I'm picturing stairs. I opened the door, and all of a sudden, I had a memory. And I started talking in a voice that wasn't mine. Wow. Well, yeah. No. No. It was out of this.
Mahara Wayman [00:36:44]:
Yeah. And I remember thinking, holy shit. What voice is that? Because I I had a different accent. It was a male like, it was just weird. But I remembered everything, and it was that same feeling of complete and utter trust, and then stuff came up. And she took me to the life. And what she's I was very I was very careful to listen to her suggestions because I wanted to know if she was leading me. Right? Like, do you see a pair of blue shoes? Right? For example.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:12]:
But she wasn't. She was very, open. You know, look down and tell me what you see, for example. But I remember thinking, this is amazing. And she would say, we're gonna step into the you're gonna step into the life that's most affecting this one. And then I would pretend to step into the threshold and describe what I saw. And she'd said, we'd talk about that life. And she goes, okay.
Mahara Wayman [00:37:34]:
Let's step into the life that most affected that one. And I would do it again. And we did it 3 times. I'll have it was quite amazing. All of which is to say that when, I think, we give ourselves permission to just past life experience for me or even when I was doing compassionate self forgiveness, and I was able to recognize the, incident from my childhood that really affected my money story. Or with my clients when when, you know, we go through the exercise with them. And, of course, with the work that you do, it sounds like there's that level of yeah.
Whitney Riley [00:38:13]:
Yeah. I think a lot of times, like you're saying, the guards get in the way. Right? We have a lot of guards saying you will not, and they throw up lots of ways even to not go there. Right? And if you stay and look at the fear long enough, you'll see it's the image or the feeling that a child would feel afraid of. And that's an indication. It's not a real fear. It is your child self going, don't go here. We're we don't go here.
Whitney Riley [00:38:43]:
Right? I love that story about the, it's fascinating. Past life regression. I've never told this, but I partnered with someone who did Akashic reading. Similarly, like, I don't know anything about it. Like, I don't know. I'll show up and see what happens and, had a pretty profound and I had 12 we we traded programs. Because she also had some stuff she wanted to work on, and she was an EFT practitioner and saw the way I did it and was like, oh, wow. That's let's just train.
Whitney Riley [00:39:16]:
I was like, yeah. Whatever. So we both had these really crazy profound experiences, and I still don't know if it's a metaphor or if I really was able to access, like what you said, these other lives. But there is a story of, like, this kind of public witch hunt type of thing. Not like that you would read in stories. It was like, you know, I think more like humiliation, the vegetables being thrown. And it this is really crazy. So I've always had really weak wrists and ankles.
Whitney Riley [00:39:51]:
And after that, I process the fascia and did some stuff, and it's like my whole body is different. I don't have achy, wrists and ankles anymore. And I'm like, gosh. Is this just a metaphor? Because, you know, there's there's a place where I don't know, but it was so real. And I could feel the fear and the the will to not be broken down, but also, you know, that you're you're stuck. You're stuck at someone else's will and and how the people will turn against you. And I think that story about being a kid was why it was so because it really was a smaller thing than the story. You know, it wasn't like I was chronically witch hunted or targeted.
Whitney Riley [00:40:38]:
But I think the pain of that echoed the pain where you lose control because the masses turn against you and they misunderstand you and they represent it as something bad. And I also wonder if I got into this work, like, purpose. You talk about purpose. If it's been a calling life time after lifetime. I don't know. I don't know.
Mahara Wayman [00:40:59]:
So, so interesting. Oh my god. We went off on a bit of a side tangent here, people. Forgive us, but I always go where the conversation goes, and this is just too amazing. So can I share and I just wanna say I'm not a wackadoodle? I really am not a wackadoodle.
Whitney Riley [00:41:13]:
I'm a little Neither.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:14]:
Right? Neither of us are are are No. There. But what I do think we are is perhaps a little bit more, we're all souls that are beginning to wake up and see. So here's a an interesting story. Last year, I was reading a book listening to a book, while I was traveling to BC, and it's a book of I think it's called The Soul's Journey by by Michael somebody. I I should know this because I I reference it all the time. Really interesting book. I you know, I was just so interested.
Mahara Wayman [00:41:44]:
And the story is he is a psychotherapist and was helping his clients navigate their current challenges. And one client, he, you know, hypnotized them or relaxed them. They went they went backwards. And he realized that they weren't in the past life. They were in the in between. And he was like, okay. I'm sorry. Where are you now? And the person, Sikano, said, well, this is the in between.
Mahara Wayman [00:42:13]:
This I'm the soul. I haven't incarnated yet. Yeah. So that was his reaction because he was really into past lives, but this was new to him. So he began to consciously take people there. And this book is a documentation of many of his sessions.
Whitney Riley [00:42:31]:
And the the hair on the back of my neck just wow.
Mahara Wayman [00:42:36]:
So I'm listening to this book as a passenger in the car, and there is a description. You know, it's described as, souls incarnate together when you're it's like being in school in different levels of university and there's a mentor that teaches like a group of souls. And this is the lesson that this group of souls is gonna learn this time around. And, you know, I'm just taking it kinda tongue in cheek. I'm very open minded, but I was you know? It was that I was thinking it more of entertainment. And then this patient is describing what the mentors look like at a certain level. It would be like saying, professor professors of this level, this is what they look like. And they were all color coded.
Mahara Wayman [00:43:20]:
Basically, they were like energies that had colors. And he is asking the the person, his client, so this level, what color were were they? And at the exact same time, I answered. I said, well, purple, of course. Just as the audio said in my ear, purple, of course. I don't know if they said, of course. I said, of course, but it was we had the same answer. And in that moment, I went, I know this because I know this. Wow.
Mahara Wayman [00:43:53]:
And not just it was just like a millisecond. I went and I'm I actually sat up in the car and went looked at my husband and went, I know that. This isn't just intuition. Like, I know it. And I will say, quite frankly, that my life has never been the same. That was a year ago because I had this all of a sudden, this understanding that I was so much more than a 58 year old or 57 year old woman trying to make trying to figure out her next level of life. I was part of something much bigger. And throughout that, after finishing the book, there were other things that were talked about in the book.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:28]:
And I realized that some of the dreams that I've had all my life I'm a lucid dreamer. I'm really into my dreams. But I've had dreams throughout my life that were all very similar and different. And I realized they're not dreams, they were memories of me being in a different galaxy in a different time. Everything was looking up to the sky. Everyone else is freaking out, and I was totally I was no. This is this is the way it is. That's I'm always looking up, and it's as if there's aliens that are coming.
Mahara Wayman [00:44:56]:
Right? But I didn't see them as aliens. Everybody else did, and I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, it's one of these dreams. Oh, right. It's a memory. Right. So it's just yeah.
Whitney Riley [00:45:05]:
So this took a turn, so I'm just gonna follow you. As a child, I had 2 reoccurring dreams. But this one that I had so often, it was so I still think about it sometimes and I it jars my sense of reality where I'm like, which place am I in? I would have this dream that I looked different, that it was alien, but it wasn't, like, you know, I didn't have a big head. It was unpleasant. It would be unpleasant if it stumbled into our reality. Right? But it was who I was and it and it was brown and almost like a tree but there's no way. I could probably paint a picture and I did at one point. Kinda paint a picture of it a long time ago.
Whitney Riley [00:45:48]:
And when I woke up, I didn't know which was real. Like, I really felt like the other one was real. So as a small child, I think I was already starting to question the veil that we choose to hang our reality hat on. And I think that isn't an accident that you had those dreams. I don't think it's an accident that I had that dream. Yeah. And there is I think, you know, if someone said what is it, I don't I'm not I'm over the hump of feeling like, yeah. Yeah.
Whitney Riley [00:46:22]:
I understand. We're bigger and it's, you know, we're all 1 and we fracture off down here and we choose our path, we choose our parents, and you have more power than you ever realized. Absolutely true. But what is it all about? I know it's about so much more than we ever worry about when we're looking at life as, like, a shallow as a dish pan in the human experience.
Mahara Wayman [00:46:48]:
So it's interesting because as you're speaking, sharing that, on the one hand, we can I can acknowledge that the world is I can't articulate the size and power of the world? Like, it's not possible. On the one hand, feeling that I'm part of that feels immense and amazing and powerful. But the flip side of that, which I feel at the exact same moment is incredibly small. So even though I can feel incredibly small, I know that I'm not. And it's like this constant battle of saying, how is that possible? Don't know. Don't care. But, really, how is that possible? Don't know. Don't care.
Mahara Wayman [00:47:26]:
Right? So as I said, I'm not a wacko. But I
Whitney Riley [00:47:30]:
No. Well, people can judge however they wanna judge, but somebody had to be brave enough to have these conversations first for us to hear them to even start having the language or the experiences. Right? So maybe maybe that like you said, maybe there's a reason we're having this experience. You didn't plan for this. I didn't plan for this.
Mahara Wayman [00:47:48]:
Dalai Lama. He blessed you?
Whitney Riley [00:47:53]:
During all of this, during all of my figuring it out, I guess I was in my twenties. I might have possibly been no. I must have been my early thirties. Anyway, not in a relationship, had finally exercised being in relationships that were not for my greatest good, and realizing I was a co contributor of all of that. I kinda was just in this quasi zone and dating some people, trying to figure it out, and this one lovely human being that I dated was, secret security. And the Dalai Lama was coming to Houston and going to be at a place, and he was like, would you like to meet the Dalai Lama? And I was like, are you kidding? And at this point, like, I'm, like, thinking I'm gonna live in an ashram somewhere. I meditate all the time, spend 2 hours in the bath connecting with, I I believe, sort like, our highest self, like, really getting insights. I have crazy stories about that, but maybe on another conversation.
Whitney Riley [00:48:55]:
And I was scheduled to go meet the Dalai Lama, and I thought it was the greatest thing ever. Because one of the people I used to listen to is Mary Manning Morrissey. And she talks about, like, her hanging out with the Dalai Lama. And I was like, this is
Mahara Wayman [00:49:08]:
my moment. I'm finally gonna be,
Whitney Riley [00:49:10]:
like, Maryann Morrissey and doctor reverend, Howard, I can't think of it. Howard. Why can I not Caesar? Howard Caesar. Anyway, so I'm so excited. And at the last minute, I don't get cleared. Or I'm sure everybody in the world is gonna go. And he was just throwing it out there, but he was like, hey. Can I I'll bring a part of you there for him in your name for him to bless? And I was like, great.
Whitney Riley [00:49:36]:
So he gets to go hang out and watch a tennis game with the Dalai Lama, and the Dalai Lama blesses me. And honestly, at first, I was certainly disappointed, but I felt it. And I believe I have felt it ever since. And I think that we think, oh, the Dalai Lama, like, a blessing from him is, like, you know, you're you're with the person. There's a celebrity. There's this this energy of being that we want to be around. Like the people that inspire us, like, it's it's magnetic. And it wasn't like how your brain thinks, oh, well, it's gonna be so great.
Whitney Riley [00:50:14]:
I'm gonna have this thing. It was like instantly an unfolding of living like a child. And and being in truth with saying, like, what you just said. If I could sing that, why would I be here? Like, a child would say that because it's just an honest impulse of how I assess it. It's not a real judgment. I'm here because I wanna be here. But then there's this other thing that you're asking me to do that's incongruent with my beliefs. It's not mean.
Whitney Riley [00:50:42]:
We're not trying to be mean. And when children are just being and the adults, the world starts shushing them, then they stop trusting their source and now have to operate out of fear. And so this blessing, like, opened up this thing that he lives from a place of trusting, and and it's the child love. It's the just being honest, seeing that everything is here to make something else better. And in the tennis game, he leans over to the guy I was dating and he goes, what did he say? He says, look at these players. Look at them. And the guy who's very competitive and actually was a competitive tennis player, but the Dalai Lama didn't know that and he's thinking, oh, we're gonna talk about competition all that. He's they're just here to inspire the other person to be as good as they can be.
Mahara Wayman [00:51:38]:
So good. So what I'm hearing, which, of course, ties into the understanding that we are all made up of energy, You did not just meet him in person because his blessings, his vibe is so high. Let's just talk it. Let's put it in regular language. His vibe is so high. He just tapped into that vibe and you picked up on it.
Whitney Riley [00:51:58]:
And I didn't allow my disappointment to close my vibe off.
Mahara Wayman [00:52:04]:
Wow. Both sides. So, Whitney, please do tell us what it is that you are doing today. You've written 2 books. Get that.
Whitney Riley [00:52:10]:
Yes. I partner with people to raise their vibration by getting those shattered pieces that are trying to keep us safe in a different time frame, in a different situation where we have, we actually have less power, less understanding, to come back into the light of our being so that we operate with all of our super powers from survival, but without the drag that keeps us in the spins where we get stuck, not knowing how to get out of a negative thought to emotion, thought to emotion behavior loop. Right? It pulls us back down into things that aren't serving us.
Mahara Wayman [00:52:45]:
Different modalities, or do you have one in particular that you are currently focusing on?
Whitney Riley [00:52:50]:
I incorporate we've talked about a lot of stuff. I bring the Dalai Lamas. You know, the insights of a person traveling this is basically like, okay. Took me this many years and however many more years, and I will continue to add things to my basket that how do you do that quicker, better, faster? And it is super intense to work with me. I'm not going to lie. It is intense and it is designed to get past past the guards and all your stories that you think will keep you stuck. It is designed to help you move through that and then have it forever to do on your own. So I use a Mago dialogue with the self.
Whitney Riley [00:53:29]:
I you know, EFT, I believe is a holy grail. I use, positive psychology techniques like whooping to plan for the obstacles instead of just go, I'm gonna do this and this time somehow I'll get past it. So it is a whole host. I use the tendency of the brain itself, which we haven't even got into that, but the brain is not who you are. It's like a hand or a foot. It's here to serve you. Right? So so many things. It's so many things, but it's condensed in a way that you can do it really fast and be the guide to the ship that you've been trying to be the guide to your whole life.
Whitney Riley [00:54:05]:
And you can get the book if you wanna put your toe in the water. It has the whole method. It's called the me method, make everything easier method. That it comes from all my clients, by the way. They kept saying it in one way or another, make everything easier. It just got easier. I'm like, oh, it just got easier. You didn't do something.
Whitney Riley [00:54:20]:
Right? Something really scary and hard and fun. Right? Right? It's the same. Right? I think we're doing the same thing, different different modalities, different words, but making it easier. So the book is there, super accessible. And then if you're wanna have a conversation, I am always ready to start a partnership with somebody.
Mahara Wayman [00:54:38]:
Beautiful. I love your description that you work that you have partnerships with your clients. It's so much like I've been saying I work with with clients. I love it. I may have to steal that in some manner.
Whitney Riley [00:54:48]:
Because that's what we're doing. When it's not working for you is the treasure map to find what's specific to you that makes it not work for you, and then we're gonna go love that part back. And that takes time. That takes trust. That takes us working together.
Mahara Wayman [00:55:04]:
What would you say to our listeners are some points that help you to feel badass on a regular basis? Bringing this all back to the title of this podcast, which is the art of badassery.
Whitney Riley [00:55:13]:
I think the number one thing, and I I don't know that I would've been able to find this earlier on my journey, but I was doing it. You need you. You need you. You need you. There's there's resistance because you are trying to emerge from a psyche filled with totems of tongues telling you what's right, what's wrong, what's good, what's bad. And you need to listen to you to get past those moments when somebody says, hey. You're just gonna take Zoloft for the rest of your life and have panic. And it is the hardest thing to do is to choose you until you start taking those little leaps.
Whitney Riley [00:55:48]:
But being a badass isn't about slaying dragons that you can see and being better than other people. It is about learning to love yourself in a way where nobody can break the bond between you and you.
Mahara Wayman [00:56:05]:
Amen. So so powerful. And however you wanna think of it, be you, trust your gut, sit quietly, trust the process, love yourself, conditioner, all of these things. Whatever you call it, be the yeah. The art of badassery is just accepting that you matter and be you, whatever in whatever form that is, or you wouldn't be here. Oh my goodness. This has been one for the record books. For those that listen to the show on a regular basis, you will may be scratching your heads, but I wanna thank you for joining us today.
Mahara Wayman [00:56:34]:
And, Whitney, thank you so much, and we are doing this again. I'm just saying.
Whitney Riley [00:56:38]:
Yay. Thank you so much. It's been wonderful.
Mahara Wayman [00:56:41]:
It's been lots of fun. Check the show notes, peeps, because I'm gonna put as much information as I can. We would love to hear your thoughts on this episode, whether it was any of the stories that that I was sharing or that Whitney was sharing or just in general, your thoughts on being a badass. My name is Mahara. This has been the art of badassery. I'll see you next week. Take care. Thanks for tuning in to another badass episode.
Mahara Wayman [00:57:03]:
Your support means the world to me. So if you enjoyed what you heard today, don't forget to like, share, and rate the episode on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback keeps the badassery flowing. And, hey, if you're ready to unleash your inner badass and conquer whatever life throws your way, why not book a complimentary badass breakthrough session? Just click the link in the show notes to schedule your session, and let's kick some serious butt together. Until next time, stay fearless, stay fabulous, and of course, stay badass. This is Mahara signing off.
